At World's End
by S-Michael
Summary: NERV is destroyed. SEELE, their plans exposed, are in hiding. But there are still angels, and the Evas are still the only things that can fight them, but the world is tearing apart at the seams... [MisatoShinji]
1. Misato and Shinji's Comic Tragedy

Author's Note: I never saw any of the movies, so really, my understanding of how everything is cobbled together comes from wikipedia and from internet message boards. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it. Please R&R!

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the First

Misato and Shinji's Tragic Comedy

The two of them stood at Gendo Ikari's desecrated grave. Shinji and Misato. It was a cool, windy, overcast day, and the air smelled of the sea and of a coming storm. The world had turned on it's head and inside out. Black was white, up was down, the world was shattered. "I can't believe it; I just…can't believe it," Misato said. "All this time, they had been lying to us…_he_ had been lying to us. That fucking bastard."

Shinji didn't speak. He looked at the grave and felt…nothing. Naturally, when people learned the truth about Second Impact, about SEELE and NERV, they had been a bit pissed off. That was something of an understatement; Gendo Ikari had been killed by a lynch mob. Later, another mob had dug him up and hanged his corpse. It was back in the ground, but still, there was talk of just cremating him and not having to worry about this sort of thing again. The graffitied tombstone proclaimed many things in many languages and had chunks missing, probably due to a sledgehammer or something, invoked no emotion in Shinji.

"Let's go, Shinji," Misato said.

"Right," Shinji said loyally, following her to her car.

Misato drove at a reckless speed, even for her, and her eyes stared ever forward. "I don't believe it…I don't fucking believe it…the fucking bastard. I thought I was getting revenge on the angels, but this whole time, I should have been hunting down SEELE. Should have hunted them down like fucking animals. They won't even let me do that now, because I'm _too close to the scandal_. Too close to the fucking scandal, Shinji," the words were bitter in her mouth.

"I'm sorry, Misato."

She looked at him, and her voice softened. "It's not your fault, Shinji. You're not responsible for what your father does. Did."

"MISATO!!" Misato swerved, barely in time to avoid going off the road, off the cliff, and into the ocean. Shinji breathed a sigh of relief. "You almost gave me a heart attack."

The corners of Misato's mouth twitched upwards. "Sorry about that."

"What are we going to do now?" Shinji asked.

"I don't really have any plans. We could go visit Asuka in the hospital."

"Actually, what I meant was, what are we going to do _now?_"

"I see," Misato said. "Whatever they tell us to do, whoever 'they' end up being now that NERV and SEELE are no more. After all, someone's got to fight the new angels Kowaru said were coming."

"Kowaru…" Shinji said.

"Are you alright, Shinji?" Misato asked.

"I'm fine," Shinji said. "It still hurts, is all." _More than the death of my father does._ But then, it was often said that the worst injuries were the ones in which pain was delayed, or even worse, there was no pain at all. Did he have some sort of psychological nerve damage, or something? _Psychological nerve damage, ha-ha._ Not funny. That joke was brand new, and it was already old.

Misato nodded. It was an awkward silence that followed. For Misato, at least; For Shinji, it was par for the course. Much of his life was spent in silence of one sort or another. Misato drove home, and they went up to her apartment without saying a word to each other. They sat on the couch, and Misato grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

"The board of SEELE is still at large, but it looks like the majority of NERV was oblivious to their true purpose," the newswoman said.

"That makes sense, as I doubt that so many people would be complacent in scheming the end of the world," her male co-anchor said. "When we come back from the break: Is the threat of more angels serious? Should we just take Tabris' word for it? An analyst's view on the subject."

Misato turned off the TV. "There's nothing good on, anyway."

"They never reveal that Tabris _was_ Kowaru," Shinji said.

"If people realized that it was possible for angels to have a human form, there would be no end to the chaos. People would turn on their neighbors, thinking that they or their kids were angels…it would be pandemonium," Misato said.

"So much for the new full disclosure," Shinji said cynically.

Misato shrugged. "At least they're giving _us_ a positive spin." Probably the only thing saving them from a lynch mob themselves was an interview in which Misato tearfully conveyed how hurt and betrayed and shattered she felt, knowing that her hatred for the angels and desire for revenge had been being used by the very men who were responsible for their existence to further their designs.

Shinji got up to cook dinner. "You've been taking this remarkably well," Misato told him.

Shinji shrugged. At this point in his life, he'd have been more surprised if there _hadn't_ been some sort of elaborate, evil plot that he was the unwitting pawn of. "I just seem to be having that sort of life."

"So young, to be so jaded," Misato, who was plenty jaded herself, said.

Shinji cooked dinner, they ate, and then he cleaned up. They went to bed. It all seemed somehow mechanical, like something was missing. And something was missing. Purpose. Righteousness. The belief that they were the heroes saving the world from an evil alien threat.

-

Shinji was punched in the stomach, and fell to his hands and knees, gasping for air. It remonded him of that time he was punched by Toji. He was kicked, and landed on his back, staring up at the ceiling of the parking garage at the hospital. He and Misato were here to see Asuka.

"Fight back, you bastard!" the guy who was beating him up said. "You, spawn of Gendo Ikari, fight or you'll die all that much faster."

"I'm not my father," Shinji said weakly.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!" he retorted.

"I'm nothing like my father," Shinji said softly.

"Oh, it's going to be like that, eh?" the man drew a knife, and pulled Shinji into a kneeling position. He put it to Shinji's throat. "Alright; beg. Beg for forgiveness. Beg for me to have mercy." Shinji looked him in the eye, and then looked at the floor. "Beg, I say! Beg for life! Or…beg for a swift death."

The barrel of a gun was pressed to the back of the man's head. "You like threatening children, mister?" Misato asked, ice in her voice.

"Children? This…this _Ikari_-spawn—"

Misato cocked her gun. "If you know what's good for you, you'll run away." The man decided to take her advice. "Shinji, are you alright?" Shinji nodded. "C'mon, we're getting back home."

Misato was fuming on the way home. Shinji decided not to try to talk to her. "I can't believe the…after all we…rrrrgh!" They got home in record time, and when they reached their flat, they found the phone ringing. Misato picked it up. "What is it?" she barked. "Yes, this is she…he's here, too…she's in a coma, don't you pay attention to the news?...WHAT? What the hell are you talking about? You're putting us under house arrest?...I don't care what you call it, it's house arrest. Call a spade a fucking spade, will you? What is the meaning of this???...We've already been questioned, like, a dozen times, by a dozen different UN organizations, handing us off to one another like a hot potato! What makes you think you people will handle this better?...Whatever. Yeah, I know. Fucking bitch." Misato hung up, and collapsed into a seat, head held in her hands. "My fucking god. This is unbelievable. We're under house arrest, Shinji, can you believe that?" Shinji shrugged, making a noncommittal noise. Which was not the correct answer. "Shinji, how can you not be pissed off right now? How could you not have been pissed off at that guy who tried to kill you at the hospital? God damn it, boy, have you any feeling left in you at all? You're a fucking human being, Shinji, why don't you fucking act like it for a change? Defend yourself, for once in your life! Don't just let people treat you like…this!"

"I'm sorry," Shinji said, looking at the floor.

"God damn it! You're doing it again!" she stood, and squeezed his shoulders in her hands like a vice grip. "Why do you do this, Shinji?"

"D-do what?"

"This, Shinji; all of this! Why do you do this, Shinji? Why don't you complain about having so many chores? Why don't you try to get out of it so you can go do whatever with your friends?"

"I don't really have all that many friends," Shinji said. "Besides, I don't mind the housework. And it won't take care of itself, you know."

"That's not natural, Shinji!" Misato nearly screamed at him. "What do you want?"

"To be yours," Shinji said, barely managing to say it, and only realizing it was true as he was realizing he was saying it. "I want…I want…never mind." He had lost whatever courage had allowed him to say that much.

She adjusted her grip on him, lowering herself to his eye level, her voice calm, "No, tell me, Shinji. You want to be mine? What does that mean? Don't run away now!"

"I…want…you…to…" he forced every word. For him, it was a battle, and an uphill one at that.

"You want me to what, Shinji?" Misato prodded.

Shinji built up his courage, breathed in deeply and then in one fast burst, he said: "…to hold me, Misato. To kiss me. To whisper sweet nothings in my ear. To be happy when I do things for you. To be happy with me. To want me. To hold me…hold me close, and not let go…" And that was about as much as he was good for. His eyes were drawn to the floor. He couldn't face whatever look she'd have for him, whatever words. _Foolish! Foolish! Foolish!_ But she didn't say anything. She lifted his face to hers, and then she kissed him. Shinji was very confused, but also very not complaining.

He kissed back a little. She kissed harder. He did a little more, and she did a little more. The learning curve here was not exactly steep, and pretty soon they were making out. And then his hands went to his shirt. She pulled it over his head, worked off his pants, and then her own clothes. Next went the underwear, and then she was riding him right in the middle of the living room. God forbid, anyone should come over. Not that anyone would, as they were under house arrest. Well, at least they would have something to do with their time.

-

Shinji was sound asleep, his limbs wrapped around Misato, who was not so much. She lay awake, wide awake, in the bed they had shared. Why were they here? Why had she done this? Did she love him? Well, of course she loved him, but did she love him _in that way?_ What she meant was she _in_ love with him? She didn't believe so. Did she?

"_Why do you do this, Shinji? Why don't you complain about having so many chores? Why don't you try to get out of it so you can go do whatever with your friends?"_

"_I don't really have all that many friends. Besides, I don't mind the housework. And it won't take care of itself, you know."_

"_That's not natural, Shinji! What do you want?"_

"What do you want?" indeed. She looked at him, asleep and peaceful (and content?). Was she really what he wanted? Could she really ever be what he wanted? Did she even want to be?

"_To be yours."_

A person's choice of words can be telling. She had asked what he wanted, and he could have said, "You." What he said was, "To be yours," though. "I want you," and, "I want to be yours." Two phrases which meant the exact same thing, and yet didn't. It was clear where the power was to be in this hypothetical relationship. Ironically, this was dictated by the one who was to be without.

"_What do you want?"_

"_To be yours." Three little words. Squeezed from him, in a tiny voice. "I want…I want…never mind."_

_She adjusted her grip on him, lowering herself to his eye level. "No, tell me, Shinji. You want to be mine? What does that mean? Don't run away now!"_

"_I…want…you…to…" he forced every word._

"_You want me to what, Shinji?"_

"…_to hold me, Misato. To kiss me. To whisper sweet nothings in my ear. To be happy when I do things for you. To be happy with me. To want me. To hold me…hold me close, and not let go…" and then his courage bottomed out, and his eyes were drawn to the floor._

_Things flew through her mind so fast that she didn't even know what they were. Whatever the origin of the impulse, she lifted his face to hers, and she kissed him._

And that had lead to this. Well, after the floor and the couch. Did she love him, or was what she did because of more utilitarian motives? It was a simple concept, maybe even a ruthlessly simple concept: those who were fighting for the sake and survival of humanity couldn't afford to forget what it was they were fighting for.

Shinji Ikari was a mess. He was the definition of mess. If you looked up mess in the word "mess" in the dictionary, you'd see his picture_. He makes the people around him seem almost normal by comparison,_ she thought wryly. In short, if there was anyone who would break, it was him. Three children, asked to protect the world and everyone in it from certain doom. Right. No pressure. Asuka, classic A-type personality that she was, would take out her frustration on those around her. Rei…Rei was so inhuman, it was hard to imagine the pressure affecting her at all. It had to, unless she was the mother of all sociopaths, but…well, maybe she was. Maybe the fact that if she failed, every man, woman, and child on earth would die meant nothing to her. Maybe it was all a game to the girl, something to do to kill time. At any rate, there was something distinctly alien about the girl, something as cold and lifeless as the surface of the moon. Shinji, however, took all that pain and internalized it. He didn't complain, he didn't lash out, but there were limits to what any human being could endure. It bespoke of a great inner strength that he had not already killed himself many times over, during the course of the life he had lead.

Someone had to help him. Someone had to give him strength. Someone had to give him a reason to stay alive, to keep fighting. Someone had to relieve him of the heavy, Herculean burden he carried. And was that why she did it? Was that why she had had sex with the fourteen-year-old boy? It was hard to tell.

It hadn't exactly been a chore, after all. Shinji was cute, in a way-too-young-for-her sort of way, a he-will-be-a-sexy-beast-in-a-handful-of-years sort of way, and though he lacked experience, he had a vitality and endurance that only teenage boys had. Not that Misato knew from experience, that is. She had heard that a male's sexual peak was at eighteen, is all. Besides, she could swear that he was already learning, but it could just be that it took him longer to come the second and third time around.

Which was it? Was she in love with a pubescent child, or was she oiling an old pair of pliers so that they could continue to be used for a while yet before they broke? She didn't know which one would make her more ashamed of herself, more disgusting. Of course, there was always option C. She had herself been under a lot of pressure of late, on top of the fact that everything she had believed in over the past fifteen years had been a lie, that her world had shattered before her eyes. Was it not, then, possible that she had looked for comfort in the first available source? That would be like her. And the idea filled her with even more self-loathing than the other two combined, because at least if the others were true, they were being done out of some sort of misguided love, while this one…this was a purely selfish motive, a predatory motive.

Shinji was now squeezing her in his sleep. Christ, he was already getting clingy. She could tell that he was going to be a high-maintenance boyfriend. Perfect; she hated high-maintenance boyfriends. _Oh, just go to sleep, Misato old girl; my head hurts._ And so she went to sleep, with a boy who was half her age.

When she awoke, she was alone in her bed. Had it all been some crazy, vivid dream? _I'm going to have to see a shrink, because dreaming about fucking Shinji is seriously fucked up._ She wasn't fooling herself, though. The relief she had felt at the idea of the possibility of it having been a dream betrayed it. Besides, her hips ached. She got up and got dressed, and then went into the kitchen. Shinji was already making breakfast.

"Hello, Misato. I'm making your favorite."

Still in denial, she asked, "What's the occasion?" She could tell that this had hurt him. "Right, sorry; I'm just kind of empty-headed in the morning before I've had a beer," she said a little too quickly. Shinji went to the fridge and got her one. Then he went back to his cooking, and Misato stared dumbly down at the beer in her hand as if it had appeared there by magic. She had been closer to the fridge. She could have gotten it herself. Like _I want to be yours_ instead of _I want you_, it was a small thing that was all too telling. She felt it like a slap in the face. It made her feel like dirt. Like scum. This "relationship" had to be nipped in the bud before it went too far. "Shinji?"

"Yeah?" he looked over his shoulder.

Misato didn't say anything. She willed herself, but no words came.

"What is it, Misato?"

"…It's nothing. Never mind." Fuck. Fuck fuckiddy fuck fuck fuck. She sighed, and she opened her beer to drink at last.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Well, this was fucked. What the fuck was she going to do? She realized something, "Shinji, no one can find out about this." Was there a reason she used _this_ instead of _us_? Another little thing? "If word gets out…"

Shinji nodded. "I understand, Misato." He dished out breakfast and served it.

"So, is there anything good on?" Misato asked as she ate.

"No. The news is still talking about…us," Shinji said. Then he grinned. "At least we can entertain ourselves."

In spite of her reservations about their relationship, Misato had to laugh at that, and smiled back at him, messing up his hair. She didn't know that he had actually thought of it yesterday, and had been waiting for an opportune time to say it. After breakfast, she stood, and said, "Well, I've got to take a shower."

"Can I join you?" Shinji asked.

The doorbell rang, saving Misato from having to decide right then and there whether to continue or end their relationship.


	2. Interrogation and House Arrest

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Second

Interrogation and House Arrest

Mr. Browne, the General Adviser to the HALO Chief of Staff could never sleep on airplanes, so he was using his time to read up on the case files of the people he was going to Japan to see. In English and in Japanese. He tried not to pay attention to the people around him, but it was hard, and most of this stuff repeated itself so redundantly. A couple of times, he had thought he had found a discrepancy, but it turned out both times that it was translator error. There were literally hundreds of documents, as a dozen different organizations, taking on the investigation into NERV and SEELE, had all asked all of these people all of the same questions over and over again, creating an ungodly amount of paperwork. He hated paperwork.

"Please, America got out of Second Impact easy, compared to us," the person in the middle seat said to the person in the aisle seat. Browne glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. Unless this man came from Australia (now a frozen wasteland), that wasn't fucking likely.

"Speaking of America, I hear the fishing is lovely in the Gulf of Alabama," the HALO man said simply. Neither said a word; with a single sentence, he had proven his point. The plain landed, and he got off, still reading his files. He was still reading them on the cab from the airport to the proper apartment building, and had gotten out and paid the cabbie before looking up. Until that point, he could have been on the moon. But he wasn't. This was where he would find Shinji Ikari.

-

Misato got the door. "And you are?"

"The General Adviser to the HALO Chief of Staff. My name is Browne, and I'm here to see Shinji," he spoke passably, but had such a thick American accent it was hard to tell.

"Shinji, it's the Grand Inquisitor to see you," Misato said.

The corners of Browne's mouth actually twisted up in a surprised half-grin as Shinji came to the door.

"Come with me, Shinji," Browne said.

Shinji stepped outside, and closed the door. "I'm sorry about that…" he said softly.

"It's quite alright," Browne assured him.

"I've already reported all I know about SEELE and the Human Instrumentality Project. About a dozen times," Shinji explained. There was an apologetic tone in his voice, like he should have kept some vital piece of information secret until now.

"I know. I've been reading the reports. And they're quite a headache, I might add. I want to know about Kowaru," Browne said.

"Kowaru?" Shinji asked.

"Yes. Kowaru. Tabris. The Seventeenth Angel,"

"Why do you want to know about him?" Shinji asked, a bit defensively

"He _was_ the one who warned us about there being more angels out there. I have to decide if we should believe him."

"I see," Shinji said. It occurred to him that neither one of them was looking at the other one while they were talking. "Why did you come to me first?"

"I'm told you were the closest to him. That you and he were…"

Shinji nodded. "Yes. We were lovers. The funny thing is, I'm not even gay."

"I take it from the fact that you found it significant to tell me this that this means you're not bisexual, either?" Browne commented.

"Het."

"And yet…"

"And yet," Shinji said. Browne waited patiently. "Doesn't make sense, does it?"

"It's been my experience that if something happened and it doesn't make sense, it is because something is wrong with the way you're looking at it," Browne said.

"I _am_ straight, and I _did_ sleep with him," Shinji said. Something about the American, perhaps the fact that he didn't expect him to look him in the eye when he was talking to him, loosened his tongue.

"I didn't call you a liar."

"And yet, I'm contradicting myself as I speak. How can I be straight, if I have sex with guys?" Shinji asked.

"Guys? Or just Kowaru?" Browne asked.

"Just Kowaru," Shinji admitted.

"Freud teaches that we are all born bisexual, and that society pressures us to be straight. I'm not sure about that, but it is a psychological fact that there is no such thing as being one hundred percent gay or straight. Perhaps Kowaru was the exception to the rule of your straightness. Even the exception that proves the rule, maybe," Browne suggested.

Shinji sighed. "This is something I've never told anyone, ever, but…I wasn't ever actually physically attracted to him."

"Then why did you sleep with him?" Browne asked.

"Because I loved him. I know that that doesn't make any sense…" Shinji shook his head.

"You wanted to be with him, because he made you feel loved, wanted, special. He showed you such love and kindness, and you wanted it to be real, so you faked it," Browne guessed. "Don't look at me like that; I do this for a living."

"Actually, I didn't so much fake it as I just…closed my eyes and thought about women," Shinji said, blushing. He had never talked about this to anyone before.

"What was Kaworu like? As a person, I mean."

"I doubt that I am the best person to ask that of. I'll just end up idealizing him," Shinji said.

"Why don't you tell me, anyway, and I can decide later how valuable your testimony is."

"There were times when he seemed more like a dream of what humanity ought to be than a real person. He flowed so naturally with the world around him, and yet was somehow apart from it, above it… He was kind, affectionate…" Shinji couldn't talk anymore. The emotion welling up was just too much, and he went to the railing.

"I'm sorry, I should have been more delicate," Browne said. "You have lost some people very important to you in a short amount of time. How about you tell me about Rei."

"Rei?"

"She's a human/angel crossbreed, after all. Understanding her might help me understand him."

"They were nothing alike," Shinji pointed out.

"Maybe not, but it's a straw to grasp at."

Shinji nodded. "Rei's…quiet. She doesn't have many friends, outside of Asuka and myself. If we can be considered friends. I…is she really a clone of my mother?"

"The files I received claim that genetic material from one Yui Ikari was used in her construction, yes."

"This is all just so hard to accept. The world is crazy. Who in their right mind would want to live here?"

Browne shrugged. "It's better than the alternative."

_I am such a loser._

"Call no man a loser until he is dead, Shinji."

"What—how did you know—?"

"A guess. I'm good at this sort of thing, remember."

"Isn't the expression 'Call no man _happy_ until he is dead'?"

"Same basic principle." Browne questioned Shinji for more than an hour about various topics, including Kowaru, Rei, his father, Instrumentality, somehow not making him feel intimidated while he did it.

"Well, while I'm here, I might as well talk to Misato, as well," Browne said when they were back at the door to Misato and Shinji's apartment.

"I'll get her," Shinji said. He went inside, and Misato was just getting out of the shower.

"Sorry you couldn't join me, Shinji."

"He wants to see you," Shinji said, nodding towards the door.

"Right, I'll get dressed," Misato said. She went into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. Perhaps it was just an automatic response, the force of habit? Perhaps she was already having second thoughts about him…perhaps he shouldn't read too much into little thing like that, eh? Is that a good enough idea for ya? A now-fully-dressed Misato left her room, and then their apartment.

Shinji caught a glimpse of Browne as the door opened and shut. Browne had long hair, and with Shinji, he had pulled it back into a Kaji-esque horsetail, albeit longer, curly, and without bangs. Now he was wearing it down, unconsciously toying with a strand of it that framed his face. He smiled at Misato smoothly, looking her directly in the eye. It was a short glimpse, granted, but in it, Shinji had seen someone totally unlike the person he had just talked to for an hour. _Is he that good an actor?_

Fuck it. That wasn't what was important here. Misato and him; that was what was important. Their relationship. Relationship. The word, the concept alone, caused warm and fuzzy feelings to well, which of course scared another part of him. After all, had not all good things in his life ended in tragedy? His mother died. His father abandoned him. Kowaru loved him, and he died. And now, his father was dead, too. And so many other people, most of them innocent. Everyone he had ever loved always seemed to end up dying. It made him wonder if he wasn't putting Misato in danger, just by having feelings for her.

No, shut up. What was he thinking? There was no omnipotent superbeing out there, a being whose sole purpose in existing was to torment Shinji Ikari until the end of his days. His life had been tragic. The definition of tragedy, in fact. But that did not mean that this relationship would end like all of that. And yet, he couldn't feel this logic in his gut.

What he felt was that history repeated itself. What he felt was that there was a pattern, and whatever caused that pattern to be, in that pattern he kept getting hurt. Every time he reached out, he got hurt. Every time he let someone touch him, he got hurt. Every time he got close to someone, he got hurt. He got hurt, he got hurt, he got hurt. There was an underlying theme to the story here. Shinji realized something. This time around, he had done more than let someone touch him. He had _initiated contact!_ He was the one who had said that he wanted to belong to Misato. She hadn't said that she wanted him. He was the one who had reached out. He was going to be hurt for this, for sure!

He found himself thinking about Browne, again. Browne with his hair down. Browne was not what he would call an attractive man, he realized. Not ugly, not by any means; just…not very attractive, either. Average. But that hair…that hair, he realized was beautiful. Having it cascade around him did wonders for his looks. He remember thinking that Browne was (could be) a good actor, and surely, no one with that kind of knowledge of humanity could be ignorant of the fact that the prettier you were, the more attention the opposite sex paid to you. He could very well be trying to seduce information out of Misato right now. And, horror of horrors, he was a lot closer to her age than Shinji was!

_Stop being paranoid, Shinji!_ he scolded himself. _If she leaves you, it'll be because you are such an obsessive, whiny little child!_ And there was the old self-hatred again. He decided to make himself useful, and so he did the dishes, even though, according to the schedule, this was one of those rare days in which that was Misato's job.

-

"Misato Katsuragi. Charmed," Browne said with a lazy smile, playing with his wavy hair.

"Stop flirting with me and tell me what you want," Misato snapped.

"I'm not flirting with you," Browne assured her. "You'll _know_ when I'm flirting with you." Misato's eyes flitted back to her door for a second. Did that mean what he thought it meant…nah, probably just his imagination being overactive…probably.

"Look, I've just been under house arrest for…" Misato looked at her watch, and realized that the amount of time she'd been under house arrest for in hours wasn't all that impressive, "more than a day, my boyfriend died recently, and the last several years of my life have been a lie. Excuse me if I'm a little cranky when I demand that you get to the fucking point."

"House arrest?" Browne asked.

"That's not what they called it. They said that Shinji and I should stay indoors so as to be ensured of our own safety, or something else lawyer-like, but lets call a spade a space, shall we: it's house arrest," Misato said.

"I'll look into that for you. It's probably some sort of mistake. Fucking bureaucrats; the god of bureaucracy is a petty and vindictive one," Browne said. "Anyway, I've got some questions…"

Misato answered all of the questions, and then she went inside and saw Shinji doing the dishes. Funny, she had thought it was her turn today. She looked at the calendar, and saw that she was correct in that belief. "Hey, Shinji, that's my job. Why are you doing it?"

"I just thought I'd do something nice," Shinji said. "Make myself useful, you know? Besides, there wasn't anything good on TV."

"They're _still_ talking about NERV and Kowaru?" Misato asked.

Shinji shrugged. "Actually, I didn't check. Just figured it would be more of the same."

Misato stood there, and watched him do dishes, and thought, Oh, damn it. This was another little gesture, another little sign of her power over him. She shouldn't let him do this. She should go up there and do the dishes with him. Oh, the hell with it, she would. They were silent as they washed and dried the dishes, Shinji washing, Misato drying. Misato could see in her peripheral vision that Shinji was nerving himself up for something. Jerkily, almost shakily, he stepped into her, resting his head on her shoulder. Well, her upper arm, actually; he couldn't quite reach her shoulder. Misato looked down at him, and had to smile, and drape her arm across his shoulders. _So shoot me; he's just so fucking cute._ "The rest of this stuff can wait. Lets go see what's on TV."

They went out into the living room, and channel surfed for a while. "Not a damn thing on. Ah, well. That's why god invented movies," Misato said. She got up to browse the shelf, and Shinji went into her room, returning with a blanket and a couple of pillows. Ah, cuddling. She smiled without turning around. That could be fun. _Don't take pleasure at that thought, you fucking ephebophile! You disgust me._ Another, more detached part of her mind retorted, _You're already sleeping with him. What's the big deal about a little cuddling?_ Cuddling lead to making love, which was twofold problems in and of itself. The fist, obviously, being the fact that she apparently had the capacity to feel lust for a fourteen-year-old boy. The second being that she didn't make love. She fucked.

That wasn't completely honest, though. The thing was, the _strange_ thing, that the idea of cuddling with him gave her more of an oh-my-god-what-kind-of-sick-monster-am-I kind of disgust than the idea of fucking him did, as she had already done. That, she realized, was seriously fucked up. What the fuck; just, what the fuck? _If you can sleep with him, you can watch a fucking sappy movie and cuddle. Stop being so fucked._ Stop being fucked. Easier said than done. She put the movie in and then went to the couch. They sat together, sharing the blanket, and they watched the movie.

The movie took place around Second impact. It was about a couple trying to find each other and survive in a time of absolute craziness. It hadn't been a very big movie. After all, who wanted to watch a movie about romantic fluff set during the greatest disaster in human history? Not a recipe for success.

Misato moved stiffly, putting her arm around him. Shinji froze for the tiniest fraction of a second, and relaxed into it. She could feel his heartbeat racing. Misato looked at him, and he stared forward at the screen, pale, drawn. Surely, he could not be so excited because of a little touching? And then she remembered the hedgehog's dilemma. It wasn't excitement, not entirely, it was also fear. Fear of being hurt again. It was something she knew, but on some level had forgotten, and so it was an epiphany.

A realization that rode the heels of that one caused her to suddenly burst into a spontaneous fit of laughter, and then she was doubled over. Shinji was asking her what was it, but she couldn't stop laughing. She laughed until tears ran down her face and her sides ached, though it wasn't really that funny.

"What is it?" Shinji asked again.

"I never noticed before, but we're a lot alike, Shinji," Misato said.

They were to spend a week under house arrest, but neither of them would mind. Every day trapped was another day away from the madhouse of the world for Shinji, another day when he could be alone with Misato. Another day their world only consisted of each other. (Except for when Browne would come to question him twice more.) And for Misato, every day their world only consisted of each other was another day that she could put off the decision of what to do about their relationship. Still, even with all that extra time to think, all she came across were dead ends. Every road lead to a scenario she did not like, would show her part of herself she could not foresee liking, and every way out ended up hurting Shinji. Truth be told, she did not want out.

This wasn't right, though. She was twice his age. She thought about what she had just thought. Twice his age. Did that really matter, when the world could end tomorrow? What they had, mayhaps it wasn't healthy, but then, they were both damaged goods, anyway. Yeah. She liked that. _This feels good, and we probably won't live long enough to regret it, anyway, so why the hell not?_ Just do what you feel, no matter what the origins of the feelings or the impossibility of any real future. None of it mattered. If by some miracle, the both of them survived until the world was safe, then it would be a problem, but until then, just relax. There were bigger fish to fry. And what a relief it was, too.

-

"Morning, Mr. Browne."

"Morning. Do you want to tell me why Misato Katsuragi and Shinji Ikari are under house arrest?"

"All NERV personnel are under protective quarantine. It's for their own safety. Security cameras in a hospital's parking garage caught an attempt on Shinji Ikari's life not five minutes before issuing that message."

"I see," Browne said. "Very well. Where can I find Rei Ayanami?" His week was not to be so pleasant. He shuttled back and forth across Tokyo 3, and under, to what was once NERV HQ, and was now HALO HQ, trying to get a feel for Tabris, Instrumentality, the angels, and just how this entire thing came together in the first place. He watched the video of the angel's final moments so many times it was burned into his head verbatim. Every movement, every oh-so-human gesture, freakishly human. Perhaps angels were more human than they would like to think. Perhaps Kowaru had some sort of supreme understanding of humans, and that was why he could imitate them in such a way that even the American would have been fooled if he didn't know better. Or perhaps it was Shinji's influence that made him human, that made him sacrifice himself for the good of humanity. Whatever the reason, he could be read, and after taking in all the details he could, Browne believed he had read him correctly.

He dialed the home office. "Hello?"

"This is Browne."

"What have you concluded?"

"Tabris lied."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I believe that, being an angel, he had had some sort of knowledge of what would happen if he were to merge with Lilith, say, or if he were to merge with Adam. He guessed that something was up with SEELE and NERV. What he told them was calculated to bring them down."

"Smart boy." It was the infighting between NERV and SEELE caused by Tabris' warning which had brought the truth to light. "I guess we all owe him a debt of gratitude."

"I doubt he'd accept. He didn't give a flying fuck about you or me or all of the two point nine billion humans in the world. The only one he was trying to save was Shinji."

"Are you sure that there will be no more angels? Because, if we go through with the plan, and then an angel shows itself…"

"I'd bet my life on it."

"No doubt. The only problem is, we're betting the future of the human race. Are you willing to bet that?"

Browne didn't speak for a good minute. And then he exhaled heavily. "I know I am right. Proceed with Operation Advocate."


	3. The Eighteenth Angel

Author's Note: I would just like to remind everyone that as Second Impact occurred in the year 2000, anything that happened in the real world after that did not happen in the world of Evangelion, or in the world of this story. And, of course, we know from Evangelion that the UN is somewhat different in their world than in ours.

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Third

The Eighteenth Angel

The next angel attack was big news. For one thing, it was confirmation of what Kowaru had said. For another, it was nowhere near Japan. Misato had only turned the television on by force of habit, but now she and Shinji were glued to the couch.

"It seems that the question as to Tabris' honesty has been answered, as something that seems to be another angel commenced an attack on the city of Kabul in Afghanistan at six hundred hours this morning, Japanese standard time," the female anchor said. "So far, the Talliban are refusing all offers of UN assistance. Here with a response is HALO chief Jose Valaskas, from Chile."

Then it was the surprisingly blonde HALO chief on the air, sitting at a desk somewhere in Chile in a suspiciously Gendo-like pose. "I regret the decision that Afghanistan made in this instance, but, unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about it, as Afghanistan is a sovereign nation which does not owe allegiance to the UN. Unfortunately, the UN does not have the legal authority to compel membership, in spite of the best efforts of some noble ambassadors. I have issued an order for the Evangelions, their pilots, and assorted personnel to be moved to Pakistan so that they're ready for use, if Afghanistan should change its mind or if…more extreme action should have to be taken."

Something seemed familiar about the thickly American accented dub… "Hey, that's Browne's voice," Misato realized.

"I don't get it…why won't they take our help?" Shinji asked.

"Well, if you want UN aid, you have to abide by UN law, which means things like democracy, equal rights for women, minimum wages, freedom of religion, and other things the Taliban don't want any part of," Misato said.

The phone rang, and Shinji picked it up. "Hello?"

"Is this Shinji Ikari?"

"Yes."

"And is Misato Katsuragi with you?"

"Yes." _Where else would she be? We're under house arrest._

"Protective quarantine has been lifted. You—"

"That's good." He hung up.

"Let me guess…we're no longer under house arrest," Misato said. Shinji nodded. "Well, there were no prizes for guessing that one," she commented.

_I'll give you a prize._ Shinji tried to make the suggestive comment, but couldn't bring himself to do so. After about five seconds of internal struggle, he gave up.

"So, now that we're free, what should we do?"

Shinji, who was all in favor of doing what they had been doing for the last week, shrugged.

"Let's go visit Asuka in the hospital."

"We _are_ overdue," Shinji agreed.

-

They walked into the hospital room, but someone was already there. "What are _you_ doing here?" Misato demanded.

Browne held up a hand to silence her without looking up. He was staring unblinkingly at Asuka's face. "Waiting."

"Waiting for what?" Misato asked.

"REM. No one here knows what caused this coma, apart from the blindingly obvious part, but after reading her file, I have a theory…" Browne trailed off in the middle of his explanation.

"How long have you been waiting?" Shinji asked.

"Too long. But we need all the Eva pilots we have, to fight the angels…"

Misato nodded. Browne held up his hand preemptively, and then went around the bed, and whispered something in Asuka's ear. Then he stood, stretched, cracked his back, and looked at his watch. "Damn! I've been here since five!" Browne left the room at a fast walk. Something about his last statement seemed a little off to Misato, but she couldn't put her finger on what, and it didn't seem like something he would lie about. She tried to figure it out for a few seconds, and then gave it up.

"Hey, Asuka. Sorry we didn't come back sooner, but we were under house arrest. We brought flowers," Misato said.

Shinji put the flowers on the table by Asuka's bed. "Hey, what do you think _that_ was about?" he asked.

"I don't know. REM-sleep is when you dream, and they say that if you talk to someone who's dreaming, on some level they can hear you, though," Misato said.

Shinji nodded. "Whatever he said, it must have been important."

"Maybe. Then again, it's not like he had anything to lose trying," Misato said.

Shinji nodded. Rei came in.

"Hello, Rei," Misato said.

"Misato. Shinji." It was honestly impossible to tell if she were being cold or normal, Rei was just that unemotional. Shinji, however, was curter with his response, which in this case was something that just barely qualified as a nod, than was normal. Rei put a pale blue flower in a vase next to the flowers Misato and Shinji got. Misato noticed that it was the same color as the girl's hair.

"So, you hear that we're going to Pakistan?" Misato asked, making conversation.

"Yes," Rei said. That was it.

"That sucks. None of us speak any Arabic," Misato said.

"She does," Rei nodded at Asuka.

"Oh, yeah, that's right; Asuka is multilingual. She speaks German, Japanese, English, Arabic, and, uh, Mandarin, was it?" Neither Rei nor Shinji answered. _Well, I've tried everything I could to engage them in conversation. Only thing left to do is…_ "I've got to go use the bathroom. Wait for me here." She left, hoping that, left to their own devices, they'd do something other than stand around in silence. With these two? Fat chance.

For two minutes, it seemed that that prediction would come true, but then Rei broke the silence. "I'm sorry," she said in her monotone.

Shinji looked at her, and then looked away. Then he was looking at Asuka when he said, "It's not your fault. You can't help being…what you are."

"Which part of what I am is it that drives you away from me? Is it the part that is an angel…or the part that is your mother?" This was downright talkative, for her.

Shinji didn't speak for what seemed like forever, but in reality wasn't longer than ten seconds. "The latter," he said finally.

"I see," she said.

_Does she?_ Shinji wondered.

"At the risk of driving you farther away…" she kissed him on the cheek, and left the room, leaving Shinji wondering what the hell just happened. _This is so fucked up._ It was apparent, however, that she did understand that the reason that her having his mother's DNA disturbed him so was because he was attracted to her. The time between that moment and when Misato returned could have been a single second or it could have been forever.

"Rei's gone?" Misato asked. Shinji nodded. "Let's go, then."

-

Shinji had the aisle seat, and pulled his legs in so that Misato could get to the middle seat. Shinji heard a familiar voice. Could it be?

"I can walk perfectly fine on my own, damn it," Asuka scolded a concerned-looking physical therapist as she came on board. She made her way down the aisle, gripping the chairs on her left and right as she did so, until she came to where Shinji was. "Stop gawping at me and let me in, idiot."

"Right," Shinji said, pulling his legs under him so that she could get in.

"And don't stare at my ass," she said when her butt was about a foot in his face. Reaching her chair, she said, "Alright, what the hell is going on, Misato? What happened to NERV? Who are these new guys? Where's Kaji? Why are we going to Afghanistan?"

"Because the angel's in Afghanistan. And we're going to Pakistan, actually," Misato said.

"So those Taliban assholes think they can take care of the angel all by themselves?" Asuka snorted. "I hope it wipes them from the face of the Earth."

"Asuka! Don't root for the angel over your fellow human beings," Misato sort-of-scolded.

"These people are scum, Misato. Trust me," Asuka said. "So, anyway, what's with all of the new people? What happened to NERV? Or did it just get a makeover?"

"No, this is a whole new organization…" Shinji turned on his SDAT in order to not listen to Misato explain to Asuka everything that had happened while she was out.

Some parts, were a bit hard not to hear: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, KAJI'S DEAD???"

-

They got off the airplane in Islamabad, which was about two hundred miles from Kabul, so if the Evas were going, it was going to be an air drop. Normally, pilots rode with their Evas, but as they weren't going to be able to use them right away, HALO figured that the pilots might as well travel like human beings (if flying coach could be considered "traveling like a human being"). Asuka had a sinking suspicion that they were waiting on her to recover, and she hated the idea. She did not like the idea of being weak. She especially did not like the idea of her weakness being rubbed into her face by people waiting on her.

She hailed a cab and they all hopped in. "_The UN base,_" she said in Arabic. The cabbie briefly glanced at Shinji. "_Hey, asshole, I'm the one who speaks your fucking language. Don't look at him; look at me. What do you think we are, his fucking harem?_"

"_Little girls shouldn't speak like that,_" the cabbie scolded patronizingly.

"_Little girl??? I'm the pilot of _Eva_ Unit 2. I've saved the world at least half a dozen times, while you're a pissant cab driver, so shut the fuck up!_" Asuka retorted.

"Whatever you two are fighting about, stop. Lets hurry up and get to base camp so we can do nothing while the Afghanis throw their lives away against that monster," Misato snapped.

"Fine," Asuka said. "_Just drive,_" she told the cabbie. She looked at her companions. "Hey, what's the deal here? You're almost in Misato's lap, Shinji."

"Uh…"

"What did you do to make it so that he doesn't even want to touch you, Rei?" Asuka asked. Was it just her, or did Misato and Shinji visibly relax? Interesting…

"I'm a clone of his mother and Lilith that Gendo Ikari created," Rei said.

And with that, Asuka forgot all about her previous train of thought. "No shit?"

"Yes." Rei said.

"This isn't your incredibly deficient idea of a joke, is it?" Asuka asked.

"No."

"I always knew you weren't normal, but…damn," Asuka said, shaking her head.

-

"He says he's an envoy from the Resistance," the interpreter told Browne. They were on the Afghanistan/Pakistan border, and a young Afghani man of about twenty had crossed it. "He says, the Resistance rejects the government's suicidal independence, that they want UN protection from these monsters."

"Tell him that I wish we could help, but there's nothing I can do at the moment," Browne said. The interpreter did so.

"He says, he doesn't understand," the interpreter said. "The UN has stepped into civil wars before. How is this any different?"

"Well, for one thing, we only have your word that this Resistance even exists, and for another, Whatever we do, it will undoubtedly involve the Evangelions, and even though their target will be the angel, they will have to defend themselves against…human enemies, and using them as a weapon against people…well, there's a legal nightmare waiting to happen," Browne explained through the interpreter.

"You care more about your…legal mumbo-jumbo than saving human lives? God damn you! You monster!"

Browne grimaced; those words had stung. The truth was, he was ultra sensitive to human suffering, and had never been one to care much about the rules (unless he got caught breaking them), but the sad reality of life was, sometimes you had to do what you had to do. "I wish I could help you," this was true. "I know a few good lawyers," this was also true. "I'm going to call them, and see if they can't find a loophole, or something that can justify us invading Afghanistan," this was false. As he turned away, before the interpreter could finish the statement and so he couldn't see the look on the young man's face, and as he walked away, he felt every bit the monster he had been accused of.

-

"Good news, Asuka, your sync ratios are almost normal and climbing. Congratulations, you're pilot material again," Ritsuko said.

"That's not good enough," Asuka said. "Let me try again. I can do better."

"Save some for the angel, Asuka," the scientist said.

"We won't be meeting that thing until it crosses the border. The Afghanis aren't going to give in," Asuka said with confidence.

"Are you sure?" Shinji asked.

"Of course I'm sure, Shinji!" Asuka snapped. Was she always this snappy, or did the coma change her? Shinji wondered again what magic words Browne had wispered in order to bring her back to the world of the living.

"Alright, we'll go again, Asuka," Ritsuko said. "Do you want to go again, too, Shinji?"

"No. I'd better go find Misato so I can find out where we're staying," he said. _Also, it'll be the first time to ourselves we have had since leaving Tokyo 3._ As much as he was glad that Asuka was back, he couldn't help be resentful of the fact that she was going to cut into his and Misato's alone-time. He exited the building. Theoretically, there were dorms, with electricity, heating, and air conditioning, but all the building space was being taken up by Eva equipment and supplies. The personnel had to sleep in tents.

"Wait, so the four of us are going to share a tent?" Misato asked.

"We don't exactly have a surplus of tents," a female HALO officer was saying.

"But…one of us is a boy," Misato protested.

"I fail to see how that'll be a problem, as long as you don't nude up," the other woman said matter-of-factly.

"Americans," Misato muttered.

"Actually, I'm Canadian."

"Whatever. Tell me, is anyone _else_ going to be in a co-ed tent?"

"Probably not, but the pilots and their commander are an integral part of this operation. We want you in a convenient location. Now, take your tent and set it up over there."

Misato sighed, gathered a tent and four sleeping bags, and walked to the assigned location. "Hey, Shinji. Help me set this up." Shinji did as he was bid, and then they went in to unroll the sleeping bags. Misato zipped up the flap. "You know, Shinji, this will be our last chance to fuck for a while."

"Asuka could return at any minute," Shinji protested.

"I know," Misato said, undoing her pants. "That's what makes it so dangerous." She unzipped him, put the condom on for him, and then started to ride him. Shinji opened his mouth, and then she put her hand over it. "Shh. We can't make any noise; there's people all around us," she whispered. She continued to ride him until she climaxed, which caused him to climax…and then she was hit with a terrible realization. As she was getting off of him, she said, "Oh my god, you didn't enjoy that, did you?" The possibility of getting caught had been exhilarating for her, but for Shinji, it had just been scary. He had protested, or at least came as close as he ever did to protesting anything, but she hadn't listened. She had had her way with him, irresponsive to his intentions, and, in fact, in direct defiance of them, or in other words, she had had sex with him against his will. She had raped him. "I'm so sorry, Shinji."

Shinji considered taking the condom off, realized that there was no trash bin in here, and he did not relish the idea of walking through the camp with a handful of used condom. (At the very least, people would take notice.) He zipped himself up, planning on disposing of it soon in the bathroom, hoping that Misato's juices wouldn't stain his underwear. "It's alright," Shinji said.

Asuka came in. "What happened here? To look at you two, you'd think someone had died."

"I've got to use the bathroom," Shinji said, leaving.

"Why doesn't he ever stand up for himself?" Misato asked forlornly.

"I don't know. I'm not him," Asuka said. "Anyway, I hear that you, me, Rei, and Shinji are all bunking together. That's a load of shit."

After a moment, Misato nodded. "They want us where it's convenient, like putting your favorite food in the front of the refrigerator."

"Well, that's fucked up," Asuka said.

"Don't swear so much, Asuka; I _am_ your guardian, after all," Misato said.

"Yeah, like you're a good role model," Asuka snorted.

"True," but they were thinking of different things.

-

Asuka woke up in the middle of the night three days later, and looked at her tent-mates. Rei was asleep with her arms and legs straight, and something about her posture reminded Asuka of Dracula in his coffin. Shinji was also asleep, but was clinging to Misato, almost on top of her, his face buried in her chest. _Jeez, what a little pervert!_ She opened her mouth to say something, but Misato glared at her, and put an index finger to her lips. Asuka closed her mouth. After a second, she decided that Misato was right, and that she should cut Shinji a little slack, so she nodded. "I'm going to go get some water," she whispered. Misato nodded, and she left the tent, making sure to close the mosquito netting behind her.

She never made it to the water. An alarm went off, and everyone climbed out of their tents, in their underwear. Browne stood at the entrance to the compound. "Eva pilots, to me," he barked. "It's time for you to earn your keep."

Asuka jogged over, Rei and Shinji, who hadn't of been going in the opposite direction a few seconds ago, just walked. Misato followed. "Did the angel cross the border?" Asuka asked.

"No, we are invading Afghanistan. Just got the order ten minutes ago," Browne said. "We've practiced this scenario, so you know what to do, but I feel the need to reiterate, anyway: You'll be entering a three-way fight, with the angel on one side, the Afghani military on the other, and ourselves on the third. Now, I'm not going to tell you not to retaliate if and when the Afghans attack, but remember that your actual purpose is to take down the Angel. Let the UN security forces deal with the human enemy. Now, as you'll end up powering down in the middle of a war zone, do not leave the entry plug until after we have reclaimed your Evas. Remember the strategy we had for taking this monster down, and it should be a piece of cake. Now, suit up and get in your units."

-

Unit 00 was the first Eva to land. Rei landed in a defensive stance, drew her knife, and charged the angel. Her knife hit AT field, and then the angel grabbed her hands and started to grapple with her. Next, Unit 01 was dropped, but he landed bringing his heel down on the angel's head. The AT field weakened, but still held. The angel grabbed Shinji's foot and tossed him on his back. It lashed at him with another tentacle, and Shinji stabbed it with his blade. He made some headway, and ended up scraping it. But it wasn't enough. Then 02 was dropped. The angel tried to move out of the way, but it was being held taut by Shinji and Rei at either end of it's body. Asuka landed on it with the full force of her kinetic energy and then stabbed it besides, cutting open its core. The entire operation went exactly as in simulation, and lasted exactly 18.3 seconds.

"Congratulations! Now get the hell out of there to somewhere it will be easier to pick you up from," Misato said. The Evas fled to the east, making several miles before powering down, and having to hope that the UN peacekeeping forces could claim them before the Afghanis.

In mission control, Browne sat back in his chair, with his hands behind his head. Well, the angel was destroyed. Now for the hard part.


	4. No Rest for the Wicked

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Fourth

Thesis on Unity

When they flew home, they did so first-class. It seemed that Browne thought they had earned it. Rei headed home, and the others went directly to bed. Shinji almost headed towards Misato's room before correcting himself. After all, they didn't want Asuka to know about them. Still, as he slept on his mat, he couldn't help but miss the softness of Misato's bed…the warmth of Misato's body…

Anyway, the next morning, his classmates, as well as random people in the street, were looking at him with awe. Shinji supposed that it was better than having a knife held at his throat, as had happened so recently (and yet so long ago), but it still made him uncomfortable.

"Hey, Shinji, I hear you started a war," Kensuke said.

"What?" Shinji asked, shocked.

"Yeah. After you invaded Afghanistan, Iran and Saudi Arabia and some others declared war on the UN in retaliation, joining with their ally. They blitzkrieged Iraq, Kuwait, and Qatar," he told Shinji. Shinji's head spun. War? Real, honest-to-god, human-on-human _war???_

"Hey, Shinji, are you alright?" Toji asked, wheeling up to him. Yeah, because that was what Shinji needed: to see his missing leg and be reminded of how he had done that to him. Alright, so it was Unit 01 being controlled by the dummy plug, but, well, it still made him feel guilty.

"I'm fine," Shinji lied. _War? As in, pre-Second Impact war? As in, that year of madness that followed Second Impact, war?_

"Hey, Shinji, could you wheel me to class?" Toji asked.

"Sure," Shinji drove him down the hall.

"It's not your fault, Shinji," Toji whispered.

"I wasn't thinking about that," Shinji protested.

"You're a terrible liar, Shinji," Toji said.

Shinji survived the school day, but didn't retain any knowledge from it. He hurried home, hoping for a few precious moments alone with Misato before Asuka showed up.

"I've been waiting for you, Shinji," Misato said.

"Yeah?" Shinji asked.

"Asuka won't be home until later. I've arranged it," Misato said.

"Yeah?" Shinji thought he knew where this was going.

"We need to talk. About…Pakistan."

"Oh," Shinji had been wrong.

"Shinji…I am so sorry."

"It's no big deal," Shinji said, with an it's-no-big-deal shrug.

"Yes, it _is_ a 'big deal,' Shinji! It is a _very_ big deal. I fucking raped you," Misato said.

"I could have said no," Shinji said.

"Could you have? You never stand up for yourself, Shinji! You always give in, in spite of what you may want. What _do_ you want, Shinji?" Misato demanded. The words were somehow familiar.

"I don't know, Misato," Shinji said.

"Damn it, boy, don't do this to me! Shinji, I have to know that you are capable of asserting yourself at least enough to tell me 'no' every once in a while. If you're not, then how am I to know that any of this is you? Any time we go out, any time we have sex, it could all be me. This entire relationship could be a lie, for all I know! I can't do that, Shinji! Every time you say that you 'belong to me' like you're some sort of possession, every time you do my chores without being asked, or serve me breakfast in bed, it makes me feel like the worst kind of pedo scum, the worst kind of abuser."

"What are you saying Misato?" Shinji asked.

"I'm saying that this isn't going to work. I want it to, more than anything, but if you can't say no, then it doesn't mean anything when you say yes. If you don't talk back to me right now, it's over. When someone can't say no, it's rape, and I'm not going to be a rapist. Fucking stand up for yourself, Shinji! What the fuck!? Now, Shinji; I'm about to walk out the proverbial door. The future of this relationship depends on you standing up for yourself, for once. Five. Four. Thr—"

"You want me to talk back? How's this: fuck that shit!" Shinji surprised himself by shouting this. "I _want_ you to tell me what to do! I _want_ to be yours, and yes, 'like a possession or something'! I _want_ you to take me whenever you want me, even if the price of that is that there will be some scary instances like the one in Pakistan! I want you to control me, because I trust you not to abuse me, not to intentionally hurt me. Is it normal? Hell no. Is it healthy? I sincerely doubt it, but how about you deal with your own issues before playing therapist to mine? Don't think I haven't noticed that it's easier for you to fuck me than to hold me. I love you, I trust you, and this is what I want. This is exactly what I want, and in an eerie amount of detail, as a matter of fact. However guilty your conscience feels at the ease at which you can make me do things, imagine how guilty you'd feel cutting my legs out from under me, leaving me alone again in this hellish world?" Shinji's throat hurt after that (ironically assertive) rant.

Misato walked over to him and hugged him. "That's all I needed to hear, Shinji" she said, patting his back gently and rocking back and forth.

"Don't make me do that again," Shinji whispered.

"Alright. But you've got to tell me 'no' sometimes," Misato said.

"I'll try," Shinji said.

"How is it that you can trust me so much—me, or any other human being?"

_It's easier than trusting myself._ "I don't know."

Asuka walked in. "Did I just miss a Kodak moment?"

Misato and Shinji disentangled themselves. "You, ah, kind of had to be there," Misato said, a bit lamely. She and Shinji realized that they had both been crying, and they wiped their eyes. An embarrassing position to be caught in, but it could have been a lot worse…a _lot_ worse.

"Whaever," Asuka said, brushing it aside. "Turn on the news. They're talking about Unification because of this war we started. I mean, really talking."

"Unification?" Shinji asked. He remembered, that after the wars that proceeded Second Impact, there was talk of replacing the UN with some sort of world government. It hadn't happened, but the UN had been reinstated, with more power, and had been slowly growing in strength ever since. There were some people who grumbled that if things kept going the way they were, soon the UN would be a world government in all but name.

Asuka flipped the television on, and the Prime Minister of Japan was speaking. "The ambassador had my full support and approval when he ordered HALO to destroy the angel, and I am told the American ambassador had the approval of his president when he seconded it. Does it adhere to the niceties of UN regulations? No. But how could we sit around being polite when humanity itself is at stake? Some of you are going to ask, well, if the Taliban wants to deplete its military resources, what business is it of ours? The fact of it is, we may not have had the luxury of sitting around and watching Afghanistan try and solve the situation themselves. Look at the records of the previous angels: Israfel had the ability to split itself into two equal halves. Sahaquiel could split pieces of itself from the main body and drop them from orbit as weapons. Some other angels, such as Ireul, were constantly changing themselves. In short, there was a real possibility that the longer we waited, the more likely that the angel would turn into something we couldn't handle. Now, are there any questions?"

-

The thing about any crime is not getting caught, and the thing about not getting caught is, with the exception of corporate crime, there is only a limited amount of ways that you can go about it. Why was corporate crime different? Well, if you murder someone, there was a body. If you rob a bank, there's an empty vault. With corporate crime, however, if you're not greedy and you're not stupid, no one calls the cops because no one knows anything illegal has happened. Well, alright, then; how does one get away with robbing a bank? It was a story of two parts. First, you have to get away with the crime in and of itself, obviously. Then was the part about not getting caught spending the money. If you were patient and absolutely certain you didn't leave any trace that could lead the police back to you, you could simply wait for the statute of limitations to run out. Few people were that patient and none that perfect, though. Option two was leave the country before anyone traced the crime to you. One would not want to make a habit of this, however, so if one were to do it, the ideal would be to do it once and be set for life from the gains of that one crime. One had to weigh the pros and cons of this, as there was a helluva lot of risk involved here. And it will all fall apart unless you can fool the authorities long enough to escape the nation. Alright: how does one get away with murder? There is only three ways. One, you make sure that there isn't enough evidence to prosecute you with. Browne did not think that he would ever have reason to murder anybody, but if he did, he'd probably shoot them in the back of the head in a dark alley with a stolen gun. Minimal contact. Minimal chance of leaving DNA evidence behind. He'd probably still be a suspect, being that if he were to murder anybody, he'd have a damn good reason to do so, but, hopefully they'd never have enough to prosecute. Another way was to make sure there was no body, no evidence of a body. Browne didn't even know where to begin with this, and it seemed that one would have to deal with more than was possible to keep track of in order to make it work. When, in his gruesome mental exercise, he considered this option, the best he could think of was to boil the flesh in a soup and feed it to the homeless (he grimaced to consider it), or to somehow get access to a crematorium. Then, of course, there was the option of framing someone else. This was the best way of getting away with murder. If the case remained open, one lived with the constant fear that some new technology or technique would come along and lead the investigation towards oneself. If they prosecute someone else, then the case is closed. Game over. But Browne could never let someone else suffer for what he did. _Wait a second: we're suspending disbelief enough to entertain the possibility of you committing premeditated murder, but the framing someone else for it is where we cross the line?_ Yeah, that was a point. Of course, the best place to commit a murder was in the middle of a war zone. Who would notice one more body? Just blame the enemy. What all of this had in common was that it all depended on deception. That was the key to crime: deception. Deception, because if you were caught, bad things would happen to you, and quite frankly, you probably deserve those bad things to happen to you.

Operation Advocate, short for Operation Devil's Advocate, was a crime. There were no laws against what they were doing, but that was because no one had ever tried to do it before. (It wasn't as grandiose as SEELE's plot, the Human Instrumentality Project, the Third Impact, but then, what was?) After SEELE, the people had no tolerance for big, evil, international conspiracies, thank you very much. So, the key was deception. But how did one make people not notice when you hijack the world and take it for a test drive?

Browne dialed the number.

"Hello?" asked Jose Valaskas.

"It's Browne."

"I take it you didn't call just to say hello, since you're using this line."

"Do you want me to go to the UN? This seems pretty important," Browne said.

"No. Stay with the NERV remnants. They are absolutely essential to Advocate. Besides, you've always hated the machinations of the political world."

"I'm the best asset you have," Browne said.

"Which is why you're with the Evas. Besides, you have your confidence persona, your nice-guy persona, even your charismatic leader persona, but they take a lot out of you to put up. Your true self is still the fragile, shy kid you were before Second Impact." It was true. Browne was able to operate because of a type of self-hypnotism. "Just keep track of the things on your end, okay?" By which he of course meant keep track of the _people_.

"It's just…well, without angels or anything, it's kind of boring on this end. Especially when watching the world fall apart all around us."

"Patience, old friend. Patience. Advocate is far from over. Just getting started, as a matter of fact."

"Speaking of which, how are those modifications to Santiago 2 coming along."

"We just finished yesterday. The Evas can be hooked right up into the city's power grid. But there's no GeoFront under the city, so if any angels get that far, we're all screwed."

"The city, you mean? Not HALO?"

"Of course. I thought reading people was your specialty, old friend."

"I had a brain fart. It happens sometimes. Well, I'll see you."

"Wait…"

"What?"

"When this is all over, we'll open a bottle of wine," Valaskas said.

"Thanks, but I'm more of a vodka-and-Coke type myself."

"Yuk! That's fucking disgusting, man. See you." Valaskas hung up. So did Browne. He sighed through his nose, and then went out the door of his room. Well, alright. He was supposed to keep track of these people, how did he do that? He could always try actually visiting them, oh horror of horrors. Browne closed his eyes and centered himself. He could have been the world's best actor, as when he created a persona, he literally created a persona. When he had talked to Misato and Shinji his first day here, he had used a different persona on each of them, each persona designed especially to get them to trust him, and to talk. It had worked better with Shinji than with Misato, but then, Shinji was a lot liked the _real_ Browne (but on the other hand, he doubted that Shinji would ever get involved with Advocate), so it was easier for Browne to understand and manipulate his subconscious.

Browne did not believe in mysticism, but he believed that he had acquired the skill to influence the subconscious of other people. It wasn't a psychic thing. Human beings are just constantly giving off millions of signals, and the subtlety of body language, a person's scent, a certain pitch to the voice, all of these things fed information to the subconscious as surely as speaking fed information to the conscious. His strategy was to create a persona so as to feed all of the right signals into the person he was trying to influence. It worked remarkably well.

A new persona, he told himself, using his own brand of self-hypnosis. I am the new boss. A friendly guy, likable, but not too intimidating. Unless I have to be, but I won't because we're off-duty. Just coming around to see what's up. Trying to build a nonhostile work environment for my subordinates. Yup. That's me.

Well, where to start? How about the place he had started last time? Yeah, that made about as much sense as anything. Besides, he hadn't really talked to Asuka yet. It felt like a loose end (though, of course, interrogating her about Tabris would be a moot point; she hadn't even met him). To Misato's place he went, hailing a cab. He didn't actually have a license to drive in Japan, having been here all of a week (not including the time in Pakistan), and, quite frankly, did not look forward to getting one. That would require going to the DMV, and bureaucrats are evil.

Browne knocked on the door. Shinji opened. "Oh. I mean, hi, why are you here?"

"Getting to know my subordinates better, solidifying ties of friendship. You know. The usual stuff," Browne said, smiling. "So, can I come in?" he called to Misato.

Misato sighed through her nose. "Fine. Beer's in the fridge; help yourself."

"No, thanks," Browne said, coming in.

"Teetotaler?"

"No. I just can't stand the taste. Besides, beer is for pussies. When I drink, it's for real," Browne said. "I see that you're watching the PM's speech." He shook out his hair. "Interesting world we live in, eh?"

"Hey, Mr. Browne, I hope you don't mind me asking, but…how do you get your hair to look like that?" Asuka asked. "Is there something that I can do to mine, or is it natural?"

Browne snorted. "Natural? Hell, no. You wouldn't _believe_ how much effort I have to put into my hair. I spend a half hour in the shower every morning, just shampooing, rinsing, and dying. That's right, dying; only thirty, and I'm already almost completely grey. Man, their ain't no justice. Of course, premature aging is a common ailment with my generation. That year after Second Impact was stressful. Your generation will never truly understand what we went through. I hope."

"Well, at least you're not going bald," Asuka said, keeping the subject to something cheerier than the end of the world.

"Tell that to my shower drain," Browne said. "So you kids okay with this whole starting a war thing?"

"Oh, I'm fine," Asuka said. "I've always hated those Taliban. Thought we should have invaded them a long time ago, in my opinion."

Shinji became physically more drawn into himself, hunching his shoulders, crossing his arms, and slouching. Misato put her hand on his shoulder, and he looked into her eyes. "It's not your fault, you know. We had to get the angel before it became too much for us to handle, like the PM said. If the Afghanis just hadn't been so stubborn…"

Yes. If the Afghanis hadn't been so stubborn. Problem was, stubbornness was a basic human trait. Humanity had such potential, if they would just do away with all of this bullshit, the old hatreds, the religions, the separatism, the idiocy. But that train of thought was a sidetrack. As he talked to them, what Browne was noticing was the way they were physically reacting to one another. He had noticed something when he was interrogating these people, but had written it off as his mind playing perverted tricks on him. In Pakistan, too, he had noticed something sometimes between the two of them, and now the way they were acting, but not even that: subtle hints in the way they were acting led him to think that something was happening between these two. Something sexual.

Shinji relaxed and tensed up both at the same time, whenever Misato touched him, and when he looked at her, a growing portion of his gaze was awed. This suggested, and many other signals confirmed, that he was in love with her, and slowly but surely getting more expressive about it. If he was getting more expressive, then she hadn't told him off yet. Of course, it could just be that Misato hadn't noticed. After all, he could hardly get much _less_ expressive. Still, he didn't think that this was it. From Misato's signals, he guessed that she had romantic feelings for him, too, and also that part of her was disgusted with herself for those feelings. Browne wondered: are they secret lovers, do they not consciously realize that they have feelings for each other, or am I just reading too much into it? After all, it could just be that he identified with Shinji, and found Misato attractive…

Asuka knew something was going on. She didn't know what, but she was jealous. Browne did not think that it was a sexual jealousy; simply, she was aware that the other two members of her "family" were excluding her from something.

Browne's satellite phone rang. "Hello? What, already? We only just returned to Tokyo 3. Well, where is it? Alright, we'll be there."

"What is it?" Misato asked. They all knew aleady, just from listening to his portion of the conversation, but you have to go through the song and dance of things.

"We're shipping out again. There's another angel."


	5. The Far Side of the World

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Fifth

The Far Side of the World

"This is going to suck," Browne murmured.

"Pardon?" Misato asked.

"I can't sleep on airplanes," he explained as they boarded the twenty-two hour flight. "It's partly the chairs, but mostly the noise of the people around me. I simply can't tune it out, try as I do to ignore people."

"Here," Shinji said, handing him his SDAT. "I recommend putting track 26 on infinite repeat."

"Thanks. Is it loud, fast, and barely intelligible?"

"Yup," Shinji said.

"Perfect. If the people to whom the language is native can barely understand it, I have no chance. It'll make excellent white noise," Browne said, heading for his seat.

"That was nice of you," Misato commented.

Shinji shrugged. "It's no big deal."

Shinji, Misato, and Asuka took their seats (window, middle, and aisle, respectively) and settled in for a long flight. Asuka did some mental calculations. It was now 6:00 PM in Japan; in twenty-two hours it would be 4:00 PM tomorrow in Japan. Their destination was eleven time zones east of Japan, thereabouts, so they should arrive at about 5:00 AM. They watched a couple of in-flight movies to kill time, ate dinner, watched another movie, and then tried to go to sleep. Asuka got up to use the bathroom, and noticed Browne talking to Kensuke in hushed tones. He was holding a globe that was at least fifteen years old (Asuka could tell the age, because the real Earth looked nothing like that anymore).

"…I'm not surprised you don't recognize this, but it _is_ the Earth, believe it or not," Browne was saying holding it with his index fingers at the traditional locations of the poles. "The thing is that with Second Impact, this happened." He shifted the globe about forty five degrees, so that the north pole was now in the middle of Canada and the south pole was to what had been the southeast of Australia's southeast coast, about halfway between it and the shore of Antarctica. Japan was now at the equator, which was why it didn't have seasons any more. "Look familiar?"

"Sort of." Kensuke said.

"Well, I can hardly make swaths of land disappear, so you're going to have to pretend," Browne said. "Second Impact even reversed the planet's polarity. You know what polarity is, right?"

Kensuke nodded. "Magnetism flows out of the north pole and into the south."

"Well, before Second Impact, it used to be the other way around. That's why all compasses that are more than fifteen years old point in the wrong direction," Browne said. "My home was suddenly a thousand miles north of where it had been, and we had to get south before we all froze to death, but the problem was, the compasses were all pointing the wrong direction, and nobody realized that yet, so when we thought we were heading south, we were actually heading north…"

Asuka was sorry to end up out of earshot just as the story was just getting interesting, but she didn't want to look like a snoop. Post-SEELE, there was no tolerance for secrecy, and so there were news teams with them, both here and in Pakistan. She was actually surprised that Aida hadn't been in Pakistan, now that she thought about it, as he was training to be a cameraman on a news crew. There was only so much that a kid who wasn't an Eva pilot could cut school, she guessed.

Asuka used the bathroom, and then she headed back to her seat, passing the conversation yet again. "…stumbling into Lake Superior, and that was how we realized we were heading the wrong direction. But by that time, Chirac was behind us," Browne said.

"Chirac?"

"A would-be warlord. From Quebec, originally. There were a lot of them in North America at the time, until the United States government reasserted itself and stamped them out," Browne said.

"So now we had to turn around and go south, which, like I said, the compasses were calling north, and somehow manage to do it without being caught and enslaved by that goddamn frog," Browne said, looking haunted. He sighed. "We didn't make it. Chirac 'conscripted' us into work gangs. The men, at least. The women, he…well, it's best not to think about. We rebelled, eventually…"

Asuka was once again out of earshot, and returned to her seat. She looked at her companions. Shinji was asleep, and Misato was just sort of gazing at him. After watching her watch Shinji for a while, she gave up trying to guess and asked, "What is it?"

Misato jumped. "Huh?"

"You were staring at Shinji," Asuka said.

"Oh," Misato said. And didn't elaborate.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Well, why were you staring at Shinji," Asuka asked.

"Oh, I was just thinking about stuff," Misato said vaguely. She yawned, and put on a sleeping mask and earplugs. At times like these, Asuka felt sure that they had a secret that she wasn't a part of, and it irritated her. She sighed; well, she wasn't going to get anything else out of Misato, short of using excessive force. She went to sleep herself, waking up in time for breakfast.

She reread the report about the nineteenth angel. It had been spotted in the pacific by HALO's newest experimental satellite, and was headed for Chile, specifically, Santiago 2. Santiago 2 was the home of HALO's main branch, she remembered, which specialized in something to do with angels, she hadn't been paying attention when she was told. Too busy dealing with the real angels. She'd ask somebody after they land. Analysis showed that it looked a lot like Sachiel, the angel Shinji fought his first day on the job. Estimates said that it would take the angel until 11:30 PM Chilean time to reach Santiago 2, when factoring in things like how steeply the South American coast jutted towards the bottom of the ocean, etcetera. They were to stay on Japan time so as to avoid jetlag. Besides, that was more convenient, anyway, as the time they were scheduled to fight the angel was about half past noon by their watch.

A couple of bad movies, lunch, and another bad movie later, they had landed. When they got out of the plane, it was false dawn, which was eerie, as her internal clock was saying that it was afternoon. The natives looked like they just got out of bed, and she couldn't blame them. It was probably a lot earlier than they were used to getting up.

"Eva pilots," one said in broken Japanese. "With me. Eva pilots with me." They did as they were bid. Asuka already knew what was going to happen. They were to train in the scenario until 9AM local time (10PM Japanese), then sleep, then they were going to get up at five, and then train some more. Hopefully, the Evas would arrive before the angel did, because otherwise they were all dead.

-

"Hey, this is kind of boring," Browne told Kensuke, who was filming the sync test. "How about I give you the grand tour?"

"Are you sure that that's okay?" Kensuke asked.

"Sure," Browne smiled. "After what SEELE did, there's no such thing as 'top secret' anymore. Besides, we love to brag about what we do here."

"That sounds great," Kensuke said.

"Follow me then. Let's start with the most showy and impressive of our projects," Brown said as he walked into the elevator. He swiped an ID card and started to punch a number. He paused before touching the first numeral. "Turn the camera away; this part _is_ secret." Kensuke lowered the camera as Browne punched the code, and then resumed filming when he had finished. "We're headed for the top floor."

"Isn't that…?"

"Oh, so then you've heard of our satellite program," Browne said. The door opened, and Kensuke's jaw dropped.

"That's…that's…"

"Sahaquiel? No, not quite," Browne said. "You see, while dozens of other organizations were vying for control of what was left of NERV, we took the bodies of the angels to study, and this is the crowning achievement of our research. Or it will be. You see, once we get it into space...well, just imagine it. Imagine another Sahaquiel in orbit, except that this one, we control, and when an angel decides to terrorize humanity again, we can use one of its unique AT-Field bearing 'missiles' to smash the menace. We think we even know how it got into space in the first place."

"How it got into space?" Kensuke asked.

"Well, someone would have noticed if there was this big fucking…thing in low-earth orbit for fifteen years," Browne said sensibly. "We think it came from Canada, originally, and that it rode the north pole's magnetism out. This hypothesis is supported by the fact that its flesh seems receptive to magnetism. Can you imagine what that would mean if we can harness this? A cheap, ecologically friendly way to send shit into space!"

" 'Send shit into space'?" Kensuke asked dryly.

"Okay, so those aren't the words that the scientists working on it would use, bite me," Browne said. "The point is, this is revolutionary. No more spending millions of dollars—or however many yen that is—to send satellites into space. The space race is going to go commercial, and before you know it, there will be cities on the moon and shit." It was easy to see that this subject excited him.

"Cities on the moon?" Kensuke asked.

"Well, resorts. I doubt anyone would want to live on the moon full-time," Browne conceded. "Mines, too, though. You know how it is. The point is, once we're in space, there is no stopping us as a species."

"Wars, too, though," Kensuke said. "With all the world's nations staking claims to parts of the solar system, there will be wars.

"Huh? Oh. Yeah. There is that. Well, look on the bright side, with Unification looming, we're probably be one united people when we start to expand into space for real," Browne said.

"People will never agree to Unification," Kensuke said.

"Yeah, people can be stubborn dicks sometimes. Hell, most of the time. A wise man once said that the only thing that could unify humanity was a threat from the stars…but what do you think the angels are?" Browne said. "We will unify as a species. I know we will. Because, if we don't, we will die."

"Has anyone ever told you you're an optimist?"

Browne smirked to himself. "Never. In fact, I'm often accused of the opposite." He gazed at the Frankenstein's-Monster version of Sahaquiel again. "You know, it looks the most like the tenth angel, but it's composed of parts from others, as well. Ramiel's AT-Field, for example."

"That's the pyramid-looking one, right?"

"The octahedron, yes," Browne said. "We wanted to make this weapon as powerful as humanly possible. After all, we can't have an angle be limping away after being attacked by this thing. We want to kill it."

"Anything of Arael in it? I mean, it _is_ a space monster of some sort."

"Arael's body is still in space. But once we retrieve it, we'll see what we can do. Also, I think the Lance of Longinus actually landed on the moon somewhere, so that's worth looking into," Browne said. "Anyway, if you'll come with me, I'll show you our research with the S2 engines, and where we're training chimps to see if they can be Eva pilots…"

-

It was only ten o'clock at night (Japanese time), but a day of training had exhausted the Eva pilots, so they weren't listening when Ritsuko congratulated them on the good jobs they did. They were driven to their apartment (somehow Misato, Shinji, and Asuka were all roommates here, too), which had its windows covered with heavy drapes so that they could sleep in spite of the fact that it was the middle of the day, ate some ramen (which tasted like crap, because Misato, being the least tired of the three, had cooked it), and crashed. There were two beds. Shinji got one, the females got the other. Asuka would have complained, but any other way you did it, someone was on the floor or in bed with Shinji. Besides, she was too tired to complain. And then it turned out that she was too tired to sleep! Fucking a, can you _believe_ that? Some higher being up there was a real bastard, and she hoped he could feel her scorn.

After about twenty minutes, Misato got out of bed. Asuka cracked her eye open, and saw in the dim light that permeated into the room in spite of the heavy curtains that she was going over to Shinji's bed. _What the hell?_ Misato bent over and—_was she kissing him???_ She was. She was kissing him. Misato was kissing Shinji. She got on top of him, and then she pulled out of the kiss. "Do you want to do this, Shinji? Yes or no?" she whispered. After a few moments, Shinji nodded. "There's no shame in wanting to wait until Asuka's not in the room, you know."

"I know. It's alright. Let's do this," Shinji whispered. Misato kissed him, and then hopped under the covers. Shinji reached for his discarded pants and pulled out—was that a condom? Misato was busy under the covers, presumably removing their undergarments. Asuka could not believe what she was seeing.

"Hey, Shinji, what position do you want to do it in?"

"You decide."

"Nah, lets mix it up a little. I want _you_ to choose."

Shinji thought. "Reverse missionary."

"Our usual, then."

"I'm not very daring."

"Why don't you try being on top?"

"…I don't like being on top."

"How do you know? You've never tried it."

"Do you want me on top?"

"I think it's worth a try."

"Alright, then."

They shifted their positions, and though the blanket obstructed Asuka's view, she could tell from the bulges that Misato's legs were wrapped around Shinji's torso as he pumped. He went at it for an impressive amount of time, and even from a few feet's distance in very low light, Asuka thought she saw him sweating, and Misato was biting her lip to keep from making noises.

On that first night back in Pakistan, Asuka had noticed a faint odor in the tent they had shared. She had filed it away and forgotten about it, not recognizing it. Now she smelled it again, and this time she knew what it was. The smell of sex. More specifically, the smell of Misato and Shinji's sex.

Shinji collapsed on top of Misato. "Well?" Misato asked.

"I still prefer you on top," Shinji said.

Misato smiled at him. "I don't doubt it." She sighed. "As much as I don't want you to move, or pull out, I'd better get back to Asuka's bed so she won't suspect anything when she wakes up. And you'd better flush that condom."

Shinji nodded, getting up, and Asuka was treated to a full front and back view of him. She hadn't meant to be looking, she just…hadn't looked away in time. Hadn't realized the danger, as it were. Misato put on her nightshirt and panties. The toilet flush, and Shinji came back into the room, more naked than before. Misato kissed him, and then went and laid down next to Asuka. Who was having a harder time getting to sleep than before.

-

Misato woke up in a good mood, as she usually did after having sex with Shinji. While half-asleep, Misato mistaked the warm spot next to her for Shinji and almost groped Asuka, but then she got out of bed, showered, dressed, and entered the main room to find Shinji cooking. Looking at the bed to make sure Asuka was still asleep, she walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin on the top of his head. It was the simple pleasures in life that made it worth living.

She was remembering the feel of his body on top of hers, after the sex. She had had many men in that position, and usually they had to get off soon, but Shinji was light. Really light. Almost alarmingly light. She could have let him lay there all night. Except that they couldn't be caught like that by Asuka in the morning. Shinji

They were almost done with breakfast when Asuka awoke half-dead and scarfed down her cooling breakfast. "Give me coffee."

"You don't drink coffee," Misato said.

"Yeah, well, now's as good a time as any to start," Asuka said. Shinji poured a cup and handed it to her. "A regular domestic goddess, aren't you?"

"ASUKA!" Misato said.

"Sorry, I'm just a little cranky this morning. Had a hard time getting to sleep last night. And the show you two put on didn't help, either." Asuka sipped at her coffee in direct defiance of the horrified stared the room's other two occupants were giving her. She made a face. "Blech! How can you grown-ups drink this stuff?"

"It's an acquired taste," Misato said absently. "What do you mean…the show we put on?"

"You know. Statutory Rape Theater. Honestly, Misato, what the _fuck?_ If I had known you were into teenagers, I would have mentioned something when Toji and Kensuke offered," Asuka scolded.

"It's not like that," Misato said.

"So you're in love, are you? How touching, except that it's Shinji, and we both know that he has all of the force of will of a bowl of oatmeal," Asuka said. "So, Shinji, did she coerce you into this? What am I saying? She didn't need to. You're the good boy, who wouldn't think of disobeying orders."

"Actually, I initiated," Shinji said.

Asuka snorted. "Will wonders never cease?"

"Enough, Asuka," Misato commanded, punching the table. "Yes, Shinji and I are lovers. Believe it or not, I actually love him and am not trying to take advantage of him," she hoped this was true. "So, are you going to rat us out?"

"Not just yet. But before you get your hopes up, it's just because I realize I'm too cranky and pissed off at you to make an objective decision right now," Asuka said. "We will talk about this later."

-

11:30 in Chile. The nineteenth angel was making its way up the mountainside towards Santiago 2.Three Evas stood to block its way. They opened fire on the monster. AT-Field. Well, that was to be expected. Then the thing lifted it's "head" towards the sky and let loose a vaguely coyote-like howl. Rei's gun went to the left momentarily, spraying bullets uselessly.

"Rei, are you alright?" Misato asked.

"I'm fine, I just…felt a little queasy for a moment there," Rei said.

"Good, because its time to get serious," Misato said, making a mental note to send Rei to the doctor as soon as their lives weren't all in immediate mortal peril.

"Yes, ma'am," Rei said. She dropped her gun, and so did the other Evas. Rei charged.

They had a plan, a plan that they had trained for all morning. A plan they had trained for all last night. Rei would hold it. Shinji would force the AT-Field to weaken. Asuka would gut the thing. Alright, "gut the thing" wasn't word-for-word what she was ordered to do, but it was what she was going to do, more to prove that she could than out of absolute necessity. The stupid thing carried its core on its chest, exposed to all the world, after all.

It howled again, and Unit 00 let go of it, dropping to its knees clutching its hands to its ears in a pantomime of its pilot. This was not part of the plan.


	6. A Not So Subtle Chapter Title:

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Sixth

This is the Plot; Listen Up!

Jose Valaskas watched as Rei collapsed, the howling causing her to lose control. _Okay…since when can they do that?_ No matter how well you plan things, and Valaskas was a master strategist, you can never be one hundred percent sure of anything, and this angel's having this ability was not planned for. There was also something telling about how the howl only affected Rei. He wasn't sure what it was telling, though; that was Browne's department. Browne could always tell how the pieces fit together, especially when those pieces were human beings. Many people thought he was psychic, a claim he scoffed at. Valaskas scoffed, too, but there was a bitter edge to his laughter. Over the years, he had been so many things, Christian, Satanist, cultist, Buddhist, even Shinto, to finally end up believing in nothing at all.

Valaskas realized just how close he was to death. This was not the GeoFront. These buildings did not retract into the ground. His life, and the lives of all the HALO personnel in Santiago 2, was in the hands of three children, and the plan he had given them for fighting this monster was flawed. It would all be his fault, if they all died. They'd be dead, HALO would be gutted of it's top-ranking persons and best minds, and Operation Advocate could very well end up derailed with no one at the helm, and it would all be his fault. Valaskas snapped out of it. There was nothing to be done for it at the moment, so he simply put it out of his mind.

The Eva pilots had improvised, however. "Tackle it, Shinji! I'm going for its head!" Asuka shouted. Unit 01 charged it bent over, grabbing it around the waist and bringing the angel to the ground. It kind of looked like a football tackle, but Valaskas didn't watch football, so wasn't sure. Shinji had also pinned its arms to its sides, so Asuka was at liberty to force her way through the AT-Field. It was still howling, though, and every time that Unit 00 spasmed, Valaskas could see Brown wincing. Browne had the mind of a proper sociopath, but not the heart. He had always considered it his deepest failing. The things he endured after Second Impact did that to him, Valaskas thought. He didn't really know; Second Impact was already three years gone by the time they met, and the seeds of Advocate had been sown soon after by the two then-eighteen-year-olds. Just as Asuka was making progress, the angel kicked its way out from under Shinji. Unit 01 went flying, and crashed into a building on the outskirts of Santiago 2. The angel spun and actually _slapped_ Unit 02. If their lives hadn't of depended on the outcome of this battle, it would have been a funny sight. Asuka grappled with the monster, while Shinji got to his feet and charged it again. He got it around the chest, which put Unit 01's hands right on top of the core, as soon as Shinji could force his way past the AT-Field. The angel actually let go of Asuka and grabbed Unit 01 in a similar hold as Shinji had it in (its arms went backwards and forwards with similar ease) while simultaneously kicking off from the ground and grabbing Unit 02's head with its feet.

_Fuck; that thing is smart,_ Valaskas thought as he watched it try to squeeze the life out of its opponents. Asuka was trying to pull the things legs off of her head and Shinji was pounding at it with both fists, to no avail. The Evas stumbled randomly. Then Unit 00's fist shot through the angel, grabbed its core, and pulled it out of the thing's back. It was luck, Valaskas thought, breathing a sigh of relief and unnerved at the same time. If the Evas hadn't stumbled the way they did…if the angel hadn't paused in its howlings at just the right second…well, he didn't like to dwell on "ifs." But it wasn't quite over.

"Rei's life signs are bottoming out! Get her out of there _now!_"

-

Browne sat outside of Rei's hospital room. His elbows were on his knees and his head was in his hands. He had by now memorized what the floor between his feet looked like. He sighed. The thing was, Browne did not believe in such a thing as objective good and evil. Organisms existed to survive long enough to breed. Human morality was an instinct that had allowed it to master the world, but in the end, it came back down to the law of the jungle. Not even that. Something more primal than that. Less coherent. Do as you will, and it is up to God whether those actions were right or wrong. Browne didn't quite believe in the afterlife, but if it existed, and if he were to be punished for his deeds in life, well, he would face that punishment and accept it. The decent human being he had been, the one he had to suppress in order to survive in the madness that came in the wake of Second Impact, was screaming, crying out with pain at Rei's fate. It was this incredible empathy for his fellow human beings, ironically enough, that was the basis of his talents, which he was using for the purposes of Advocate. It was also the source of the pain which was the reason he shut so much of himself away, seeing sociopathy as a virtue. In a sense, no one who fights in a war survives. In the very same sense, not one single human being on Earth survived Second Impact. Browne had watched his father die in the original cataclysm, had seen his little brother, who had been only twelve at the time, shot dead by Chirac, who still haunted his dreams, even though in the revolt, Browne had strangled him with his bare hands. It hadn't really been murder. Hadn't really been a crime. Those were desperate times, especially in that part of the world. Chirac was the criminal. He had fed on the suffering of others, and after the government had reestablished itself, others like him had gone to the gallows.

Someone walked down the hall, and sat next to him. Browne didn't look up. "Hey, Shinji."

"Hey," Shinji said. "How'd you know it was me?"

"No two people move exactly alike, and so no two people walk exactly alike," Browne said. "The sound of your gait gave you away."

"Oh." And that was the end of the conversation. After a while, Browne stood and left Shinji, left the hospital, in fact.

"Hey, there you are!" Valaskas said. "You're really stressed out over Rei Ayanami."

"I've been getting too close. I just need some emotional distance, is all."

"If anyone can manufacture emotional distance from whole cloth, it is you."

-

Toji tossed a stone at the ocean, trying to make it skip. It skipped once, then went under. He grimaced. Hikari Horaki tossed a stone, and hers got six skips. "Show-off," Toji muttered.

"You'd do better if you weren't in that chair," Hikari said, smiling at her boyfriend.

She handed him another stone, and he prepared for a toss. "Hey, what is that?" he pointed at the horizon. Ships were coming over. An armada.

"I don't get it. We're not a military base," Hikari said.

Then the alarm went off. The one that usually only went off when there was an angel attacking. "We'd better go," Toji said unnecessarily.

Hikari grabbed the handles of Toji's wheelchair, spun, and ran. As she ran into town, she saw that some of the buildings were already lowering into the ground. A missile hit another building. These buildings were tough, being designed to withstand angel attacks (to a point), but still, the missile rattled the windows. There was panic in the streets. Then she heard the sound of cracking bone a split second before she felt it. "Ah!"

"What is it?"

"My foot! Some asshole stepped on me and broke my ankle!" Hikari didn't usually swear, but she didn't usually get her ankle broken, either.

"Get in my lap," Toji barked. Hikari didn't think about it before she did it, and then Toji was wheeling himself to the nearest building, hoping to get there before he got ran over by another panicked passerby, enemy soldiers caught him, the building descended into the ground, or all three. The building's doors began to close! Oh, no! He put everything he had into it, and pushed himself through the closing doors. The next instant, the building began to descend into the GeoFront. Even when the building was locked tight, they could still hear the sound of battle above them. How had this happened?

-

"Tokyo 3 is under attack? How did _that_ happen?" Browne had demanded. Then he had gone off to do whatever it was that he did (Shinji didn't actually care), not that he could actually have done anything about it. Tokyo 3…under _attack?_ Misato, Shinji, and Asuka returned home for the night (and this time, it was night; after all, what was the point of not getting acclimatized? Even if Tokyo 3 wasn't under attack, they'd have to stay until the Evas were repaired and Rei healed).

They got into the same beds they had last night, but then Asuka said, "You and I both know where you want to be, Misato."

"You were pretty pissed off this morning…yesterday afternoon, whatever," Misato said uncertainly.

"You're just going to wait for me to fall asleep and then have sex with him again. Even if you're not, I'd rather not think about you fucking him and then getting back into bed with me, covered in fuck-sweat," Asuka said. "And don't tell me to watch my language. That would be really fucking hypocritical on your part."

Misato got out of her bed and into Shinji's. They hit the lights, sending the room into pitch blackness. With Shinji lying so close to her, on her, in fact, like the spoons position or something, she very much wanted to fuck him, but she also very much didn't want to fuck him in front of Asuka. For one thing, it just wasn't polite. Mainly, though, it was because she didn't want the girl to think that they couldn't control themselves. Once upon a time, before Second Impact, Misato had gone camping on a school trip, and she had the bunk below a girl who just wouldn't not masturbate. Not cool.

It was hard, not fucking him. Just holding him was unnerving. She hadn't had this problem last night, she realized. In fact, she had never had a problem touching him after they have fucked. Before wasn't really a problem either, if fucking was where it was going. It was the touching _instead of_ sex that really got to her. What was the deal with that? It was like…it was like…and then it hit her. An epiphany which explained not only this but her entire sexual history. It was like she was trying to use sex to dirty herself, as a way to rebel from the good girl she had also tried to create for herself when her father died. That was why she had sex early in a relationship. That was why none of her relationships lasted. That was why, even at the beginning of this relationship with Shinji, she hadn't had trouble sleeping with him, just with everything else that went into a relationship. Damn it, he deserved better than that from her. And he'd get it, she promised herself as she drifted off to sleep, hoping she'd remember what she had realized and promised in the morning.

-

The siege of Tokyo 3. That was what they were calling it. No one knew who coined the phrase, but it didn't take long to catch on after the first time Shinji had heard it on the third day of the siege, as it was widespread of the fourth. And now it was the fifth. Between this, Pakistan, and house arrest, he had missed a solid month of school, Shinji realized.

"Hey, can we talk?" Asuka asked, walking towards him. They both stood on a balcony overlooking Santiago 2.

Shinji shrugged. "Sure."

"I realize that I have been something of a jerk about this you and Misato thing…"

"No, you haven't—"

Asuka held up her hand to silence him. "Let me talk, okay? Well, the thing is, it's because I'm jealous she got to you first."

"Uh, pardon?" Shinji couldn't believe his ears.

"You heard me," Asuka said, facing him. "I want you. I normally don't go after taken guys…but fuck it." She came at him, grabbed his face, and kissed him, forcing his mouth open with her tongue.

Shinji pushed her off. "No, Asuka. I…I'm with Misato."

"Really?"

"Really," Shinji stared her down.

Asuka nodded. "Good."

"Good?" Shinji asked, confused.

"I needed to know that you had the force of will not to let someone force themselves on you," Asuka said. "I was especially concerned, because I'd heard of this guy named Kowaru, and you don't strike me as gay."

"You said you wanted me," Shinji protested.

"Uh, yeah, it's called 'acting,' Shinji. Perhaps you've heard of it?" Asuka taunted. "Anyway, because you were able to resist me, I've decided not to tell anyone about you and Misato." She walked away, barely hearing Shinji's mumbled thanks, and she thought, acting. Yes, acting. But it was hardly a strenuous role, she thought, remembering the taste and the feel of Shinji's mouth.

_Well, that was weird,_ thought Shinji. Best go see if Rei was awake.

"When it was talking to me, I saw a room full of angels. Dozens of them, waiting to be released," Rei was saying.

"Are you sure? Did it say anything else?" Browne was asking. Valaskas was also in the room, and he was turning pale.

"There _was_ something else, but I couldn't see it clearly," Rei said. "A structure, and something moving around on it, something really small…" she shook her head. "That's it."

Valaskas left the room at a hurried pace. "I'd better go talk to him," Browne said apologetically, and left. Now it was only Rei and Shinji in the room.

"Hello, Shinji," Rei said.

"Hi," said Shinji.

"Are you still…disturbed by me?"

"I'm sorry about that. You deserve better, being my friend," Shinji said.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I'm trying not to be."

"Come here," Rei said. Shinji walked up to her bedside. Rei reached for him, grabbed his face with her hands, and moved in for the kiss—

"Did Asuka put you up to this?"

"I don't understand," Rei said.

"Never mind. Look, Rei…we can't do this. For all intents and purposes, we're brother and sister,"_ or you're my mom, which is even freakier._

"I do not intend to have your child Shinji, so fail to see what the problem is."

"It's still sick and wrong, even if there aren't going to be any six-fingered retards running around," Shinji protested. "No. Just…no." _Besides, I'm seeing someone else._

"Alright, then. Forget I said anything," Rei said, folding her hands in her lap. Shinji had the feeling that he had hurt her, but what the hell was he supposed to do.

-

The world was going to hell, what with the war and the angels and everything. Still, you had to celebrate when you could, and Rei's recovery was a very good reason for celebration for the HALO staff, especially those who were ex-NERV. Browne politely mingled.

He saw Misato and the Eva pilots. Good. There was something he had been meaning to get out of the way. "Hey, Misato, I've been thinking, maybe we should go get some coffee together some time, and if that works out, perhaps we can go on a real date?"

He studied the reactions. Rei didn't seem at all interested. Asuka hid a smile, which Browne concluded to mean that she knew about Shinji and Misato (or whatever was going on). Shinji stiffened, which was what Browne had expected. It was Misato's reaction he was counting on. "Uh, that sounds…lovely, but…uh…I can't right now." He had expected her to say no (not that it wouldn't have been nice if she had said yes), but it was the way in which she said it that was important.

He went for confirmation: "I understand. After all, your boyfriend recently died, didn't he?"

Misato was confused for a second, glanced at Shinji, and then said, "Yeah, Kaji died…" she shook her head, ashamed of herself for using Kaji as an excuse.

_She's fucking him._ "I understand perfectly. Don't worry, I wasn't really all that serious, anyway." He scanned the room, looking for someone else. "Excuse me, I've got to go." Browne patted Shinji on the head as he walked past. He maneuvered his way to Valaskas. "Hey, I wasn't able to catch up with you earlier."

"I had things to do," Valaskas said. He left the room, and Browne followed, to his annoyance.

"I'll just bet," Browne said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Valaskas demanded.

"Don't kill Rei. You were the one who messed up. How the fuck was it that that thing could howl at her, anyway? Someone in your department fucked up. Don't kill Rei because you fucked up and she was better than you."

"And you know what I'm thinking, do you?"

Browne gave him a look which said _you just said something very stupid,_ "Dude, I know what _everyone_ is thinking. Don't lie to me; I'm the human lie detector."

"She can talk to those things because she has angel blood, old friend. She's a liability," Valaskas said, getting into the elevator, sweeping his keycard and punching a code. It began to go down. "What if the angels tell her something we don't want her to know?"

"And what has happened as a result of what Rei has discovered?"

"People are scared. More scared than ever. The idea of there being dozens of angels waiting for their chance to attack humanity is scary, and has pushed the envelope of unification. The people are demanding that their governments do whatever it takes to ensure their safety."

"See? It's a good thing for our plans," Browne said. "Don't kill her. She's an innocent."

"Well, aren't you the hypocrite. Have you got any idea how many people have died as a result of the war you were instrumental in starting—how many _innocent_ people? But now that it's someone you know, suddenly the ends don't justify the means anymore?" Valaskas stared him down, and Browne was the first to blink. Valaskas was one of the few people who knew how to push his buttons. "Don't worry, old friend. Soon enough, there will be no more wars. Humanity will be able to direct their energies to other, less wasteful things. Under the proper guidance."

"Speaking of the war, what the fuck happened to Tokyo 3?"

"The Saudis convinced the North Koreans that if the Separatists lost, the UN forces would then go after the neutral nations. I thought you watched the news? The only thing they didn't report was that the Saudis are right about that."

"Why wasn't the North Korean fleet stopped before it was too late?" Browne demanded.

"Believe it or not, I am not responsible for every evil thing that happens in the world. Our spy satellites were busy concentrating on the actual war," Valaskas said. "North Korea is not a country you want to pussyfoot around with. They have the fucking bomb."

Browne nodded.

"So, have you heard the latest accusation lobbed by the Saudis? They're saying that the angels are actually an evil Zionist plot to take over the world. Apparently, they're being mass-produced in a lab in Israel." The two men who were really trying to take over the world looked at each other, and burst out laughing.

Browne smirked. "Anti-Semites. They kill me. Speaking of killing…"

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill Rei. But remember this, Browne, when it comes back to bite us on the ass." The elevator had gone far below what most people thought was the bottom floor of the building. Only a few dozen people even knew that this floor existed, and only half of them realized what went on down here. Valaskas and Browne entered a giant room, filled with giant monsters. Valaskas shouted, "Somebody check those _things_ for vocal cords, and slice them!"


	7. Evas Go To War

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Seventh

Evas go to War

"This sucks," Asuka said about the siege of Tokyo 3. "We should do something about it."

"What can we do?" Shinji asked.

"Idiot, you, me, and Rei control the most powerful weapons ever created by human kind!" Asuka said.

"Should we really use the Evas against, you know, humans?" Shinji asked.

"These people are putting our friends in danger, not to mention wasting resources which could be better served fighting the angels with this stupid war of theirs. They're risking the future of this planet because they hate democracy, and that can_not_ be tolerated," Asuka declared.

"You can't force freedom with the barrel of a gun, Asuka," Misato said.

"Yeah? Well, _I_ say it's worth a shot," Asuka said. "Besides, even if you can't force freedom, you can at least remove a lot of the obstacles."

"I like the way you think," Browne said, smiling as he walked up to them. "But we can't send you back to Japan yet, sorry." He held up his hands, "Hey, I don't make the rules." This was only technically true. "You've got to protect the _Sahaquiel II_ satellite on it's journey north."

"Why?" Asuka demanded.

"Because, thanks to full disclosure, the enemy knows we have this thing and know that letting us get the fucking thing into orbit means that we would have the equivalent of a near-infinite number of N2 bombs on an indestructible weapons platform, just waiting for us to drop them on their cities, fleets, and armies. Obviously, they can't have that, so they're going to throw everything they've got at us," Browne explained. "Jose has already given you the report, Misato. Why don't you explain it to your subordinates?"

Misato sighed. "Alright, pilots, this train will have a nuclear generator which will be used to power your Evas. We're traveling by way of the intercontinental railroad because it's too dangerous to travel by sea. The Evangelions work best on land, after all. Shinji will take the day shift, Rei the evening, and Asuka the night. Now, the train has heavy batteries to take care of long distance enemies, so your job will be to protect the train from missiles with your AT-Fields and take care of the odd enemy who actually gets close. Now, no one has ever actually tested to see how fast an Eva can run, as the human pilot can only handle so much, but we don't want to take the chance that it is slower than the ninety miles per hour the train will be doing, so try to stay on top of the train. The cars' roofs and walls are all reinforced to take the weight of the Evangelions, so don't worry about the people inside.

"Mr. Valaskas believes that our greatest threat will come in Central America, probably in Panama," Misato continued. "The intercontinental railroad travels along the pacific throughout South America, jackknifes from one ocean to the other across Central America, and then travels along the Sierra Madre Oriental and then the eastern edge of the Rockies through North America The enemy's best chance of attacking us will be while the railroad is within attacking distance of the Pacific. It is extremely doubtful that the Separatists will be able to get a fleet into the Gulf of Mexico, as they'd have to get past the Americans, the Mexicans, and the Cubans to do so, and once we're north of that, we're in the heart of America, where it will be extremely difficult for the enemy to reach us. That doesn't mean that we'll let our guard down, though. Before the railroad reaches Alaska, and ultimately Asia, we get off at the exit to—" Misato looked at the papers "—Edmonton, a ghost town that was abandoned after Second Impact moved it to within a hundred miles of the north pole. After that, our job will be done, and the train will take us back to someplace warmer so that we can fly out." She smiled. "Hopefully, the siege of Tokyo 3 will be ended by then and we'll be able to go home, eh?"

-

The first few cars after the nuclear engine were filled with HALO's security forces. Then was the dining car, and then there was the car that the ex-NERV personnel would be in. The next held Units 01 and 02, and the last held Unit 00 and the satellite. The pilots and their commander got the four rooms closest to the mechs, of course. Rooms 1 and 2 (counting from the back end) had a door between them, as did rooms 3 and 4, et cetera. Misato arranged it so that Rei got room 1, Asuka got room 2, Shinji got room 3, and she got room 4. This car was first-class, with closet space and even a television in each room. After all, with everything else they were putting into these cars, why not put in a few amenities? People had to kill time on a long journey, after all.

Misato and Shinji were in the bed in Shinji's room, facing the wall it was attached to, the dividing wall between his room and Asuka's, and Misato was spooned against Shinji's back. It was late in the morning, and people would start banging on their doors, eventually. After all, Shinji had the day shift. Nine to five. Still, that was not now, and Misato was enjoying the moment with her lover. Or at least trying to.

"What is it, Misato?" Shinji asked.

Misato jumped. "Oh. I didn't realize you were awake."

There was a moment of silence. "You didn't answer my question."

"It's nothing. Nothing much. Well…you know how it is, with it being easier for me to fuck you than to touch you," Misato said.

"You've been trying to get better at that," Shinji observed.

_That obvious, eh?_ "Only 'trying,' is it?" Shinji shrugged. "Yes, I have been, actually. Because you deserve better than the way I've been treating you. I really am trying not to freeze every time we touch, but damned if it isn't hard."

"It's alright. I don't mind your lack of affection."

"You're lying," Misato observed.

Shinji sighed. "Yes, I am. Every time you freeze, even for a split second, it hurts. It burns my soul like a branding iron."

"You know, that's reassuring—not, you know, _that_, but the fact that you were able to say it, I mean. You never would have been, just a month ago. It makes me feel less like I'm taking advantage of you, more like you're getting something out of this relationship, too.

"You know, I thought that the reason that I have difficulty being affectionate with you was because you are so young, but now, I don't think that that's what it is. I'm a woman who lives life so lightly as to barely allow the possibility of human touch, but this, what we have…this is the real thing, I think, and that scares me. Tell me, Shinji, you and I both suffer from the hedgehog's dilemma, how is it that you can throw yourself at our relationship at full force?"

"Simple, really: I relent all control and let you be the boss of everything, following wherever you may lead. It is the only way I can be sure I won't screw it up, somehow," Shinji said. "Of course, this strategy has a strict 'one person using it per relationship' limit, and besides, I doubt it would work for you. We may both suffer from the hedgehog's dilemma, but we do so at opposite extremes."

"I always knew you were more than a pretty face," Misato said. "What you said about letting me control you kind of freaks me out, though…"

"You are the shelter which protects me from the storm. You keep me safe and warm in a cruel and cold world. I will do whatever it takes to stay with you."

"You needn't subvert yourself like that. You are the rock which anchors me, which keeps me from floating away in the currents of the tumultuous sea. You are my anchor, Shinji Ikari, and you have been since long before we started fucking."

"I don't think I can change. I'm subversive by nature. I mean—you know what I mean."

"That's really not healthy, Shinji, but the fuck with it. We'll get ourselves straightened out when there are no more angels."

Shinji had never thought he'd ever end up hoping that there would be no end to the angels. They could have lain like this forever…but then there came the knock on Shinji's door. It was go now or miss breakfast, and then he'd have a growling stomach for eight hours. Misato left through the door into her own room while Shinji dressed, and then he opened the door.

"Time to get into your Eva," Ritsuko said.

"I haven't had breakfast yet—"

Ritsuko tossed a paper bag at him. "Eat fast. From now on, get up earlier if you want breakfast." Shinji scarfed down a sandwich as he hurried to keep up with Ritsuko. Then he sat in his Eva and did nothing for eight hours. He had felt many things in while in 01 in the past—fear, anticipation, even excitement—but never boredom. Technically, he supposed that Separatist (who had coined that term? Shinji wondered) missiles could come out of the western ocean at any time, but surely spy satellites would give them plenty of warning if the enemy got close enough to do that, right? Really, until that happened, was there even any need for him to be doing this? Couldn't they predict an attack in sufficient time to retrieve him from at most two cars away and get him into an Eva? He could have opened the communication lines and talked to somebody, but he didn't. Hedgehog's dilemma. Damn it all. Eventually, mercifully, his eight-hour shift ended, and Rei relieved him.

There was a TV in the dining car, but nothing good was on, so it was just on some tabloid show. It was in Spanish, and there were Japanese and English subtitles, which would have meant something if anyone was watching, which they weren't. Shinji and Misato ate lunch together, talking about nothing important. Asuka walked in, grabbed a plate, threw food on it, and sat with them. "I'm not intruding, am I?"

"Not at all," Misato said.

"Good," Asuka then proceded to shovel her food down. "What? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know."

"So, how are things?"

"Boring. I think that this mission is the first time I've ever been actually _bored_ in Unit 02," which was almost exactly what Shinji had thought when he was in Unit 01. "Hey, look, Shinji's on TV."

Shinji and Misato looked, and there was footage from a convenience store Shinji thought he recognized. The words were still in Spanish, but the subtitles said, "As you can see here, Shinji Ikari, pilot of Eva Unit 01, was caught on tape buying condoms. Speculations abound about who his mystery-girlfriend is…"

"What the hell?" Shinji asked rhetorically.

"We're celebrities now, Shinji, remember?" explained Asuka. "Well, you guys are going to have to be extra careful, now that the tabloids have a scent. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to suspiciously change tables after seeing that, hopefully making anyone who is suspicious look in the wrong direction."

"Thanks, Asuka," Misato said.

"Don't mention it," Asuka said, getting up. She saw that Browne was sitting by himself, staring out the window, and so she sat there. "Nice day we're having, eh?" It was darkly overcast, almost twilit.

"Hmm? Oh. Yes, actually. I've always loved overcast days, especially the ones where it's dark and windy and looks like it's going to rain but never does, ever since I was a child. Then I went to an eye doctor, and it turned out that I had photosensitivity due to pressure on the optic nerve. Laser eye surgery took care of that, so now I am no longer blind on bright, sunny days, but I still like days like this one."

"To each their own," Asuka said. "So, I've been wondering about the way you talk."

"What about it?"

"Most people who learn Japanese, even if they lose their accents, never really lose the structure of their mother tongue. The way they speak is not incorrect, but it _is_ kind of odd. I'm half-Japanese, so was raised with the language, and that's why I don't do it. You, however, speak like a normal Japanese person, in spite of the accent."

"I study people for a living, including the way they talk," Browne said, which was a half-truth.

"And you're that good at it?"

"I'm told I'm the best."

-

On the TV:

"Good news in Japan, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like UN forces are on the edge of breaking the Separatist hold on Tokyo 3," the anchor said. "It's a case of besiegers getting besieged, as the occupiers are cut off from their supply lines.

"In other news, the heads of most of the world's nations are at the UN to discuss Unification. When asked why they were doing this, the president of the United States had this to say:"

The shot changed, and the president was speaking, "This is more than a treaty. This is greater than the Valentine Treaty, or even the founding of the United Nations in the first place. This is a constitutional convention. This is the birth of a brand new nation, a world nation, and for it to be strong, there must be no room to question its validity. What if one of the member states decides that they didn't what the Unified Earth to have the power to subjugate rebelling states and to bring the Separatist nations into the fold? It must be done, it must be official, it must be public, and yes, it must be showy."

This elicited a few laughs from the crowd.

The president continued: "We go into the Twin Towers to discuss the creation of a government that can and will work to end all human suffering. A government that can protect the people of the world from the angels, but not _just_ the angels; the Unified Earth will protect its citizens from war, from tyranny, and will work to prevent starvation and famine. Our children will know peace.

"Back during World War One, they called it they called it 'the war to end all wars.' Obviously, it was not. This war with the Separatists, however, truly is the War to End All Wars, because if we win, nay, _when_ we win, humanity will finally be united for the betterment of all mankind! We will truly be the dominant species on this planet, and united of will, and then nothing will be able to stop us!" The president turned from the cameras and walked into the World Trade Center.

-

It was the crack of dawn. In another couple of hours, Shinji would relieve Asuka and she would go to bed. "The Separatists have managed to get through our blockade, and they're headed to intercept the intercontinental railroad in about five minutes," the voice said.

"You're kidding," Asuka said.

"No. They're being intercepted, but, you understand, it's a pretty big fleet, so that won't slow them down much. Shinji, Rei, and Misato are being woken up, but until they get there, you're on your own."

Asuka positioned herself facing the ocean in a fighting stance. It was about time. After a solid week of this, they were a hair's breadth from Mexico and safety. Asuka wanted something to fight, and she had been afraid that this whole trip was going to go off without a hitch. Truth be told, she was beginning to go stir-crazy. The train never stopped. There was never shore leave, no stops along the way. It was as if the train had become their world, like a spaceship or something. The ships came under the rising sun. Someone must have seen them before Asuka had, because the train's weapons were all firing. All Asuka could do was wait. Not long, though, it would turn out, for amongst the barrages of missiles and anti-missiles which canceled each other out and did no real damage other than put on a pretty lightshow, the Separatist ships launched planes. Asuka thought that the planes looked somewhat like the flying fortresses used by the Americans in World War II.

They flew overhead. Too low. Asuka grabbed one and used it as a club to knock two more out of the sky and into the Pacific. She tossed her impromptu club in after them before it leaked too much fuel onto the train. The next planes flew higher. _Better, but not good enough._ She jumped, managed to grab two of them, and crushed them, getting bathed in their fuel as she did so.

A missile flying for the train hit AT-Field. "Asuka, we're here," Shinji said.

"Yeah, well, stay out of my way," Asuka retorted.

"The surviving planes have dropped something," Rei said.

"WHAT?" Asuka demanded, turning to look. Sure enough, the last two planes had dropped for things which were firing even as they fell, hit the ground firing, and kept up with the train, driving parallel to the tracks and firing. "Tanks!" These were top-of-the-line, state-of-the-art models if they could ride in a plane, get airdropped, and keep up with a train doing 90MPH. Rei was blocking their missiles from hitting the sides of the train with Unit 00's arm, but they were going to get a shot around her AT-Field eventually. _Unless…_

Asuka jumped from the train. She stomped one tank, and two more crashed into her. Then she squashed the last one with her fist. _Now to find out of fast these fucking things can move!_ She ran after the train.

"What the hell is that idiot doing?" she heard Shinji shout. For a split second, Asuka thought he was talking about her, but then saw him dive, taking a dozen missiles to the back of his AT-Field. Underneath Unit 01, someone was standing on the roof. _Kensuke? What the hell does that idiot think he is doing?_ But her attention immediately went back to her own problem. It didn't look like she was going to make it, but she jumped for it, and landed on the caboose.

Asuka heard Misato's voice: "That was very cool, Asuka. But if you ever do it again, I'll fucking kill you. Have you any idea how close we came to losing you and Unit 02 to the enemy?"

Planes from above continued to rain would-be death down onto the train, but the Evas batted aside missiles.

"Is that…holy shit, send every missile and counter missile we've got at that fucking thing! Evas, get the satellite and hold it up like a shield. Protect the train and as much of the track in front of us as you can with it."

"What's going on?" Asuka demanded.

"Just do it!" Misato ordered.

The three Evas ran to the back of the train and pulled the satellite from its car, using it as a shield. They angled it towards the bomb, but Asuka couldn't see why. It wasn't going anywhere near them—and then it exploded in a white-hot flash. Everything living thing around them, including part of what was left of the Central American Rainforest, was turned to ash. The track behind them was melted, and the train rolled to a stop. The bomb was actually powerful enough to force the air away, creating a temporary vacuum, and then forcing the air back, this effect creating some strong winds, a hail of dirt, and something else common to such explosions, a mushroom cloud. Nearly on top of them. "They nuked us," Asuka whispered. Nobody answered. The coms were dead.


	8. The Short Life of Don James

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Eight

The Short Life of Don James

The train cars had been airlifted to Mexico City to be repaired (and because the tracks they were on had melted), and all the time, they had to repeatedly reassure Kensuke that he was going to be fine. "Are you sure? I mean, I _was_ on the roof when that nuke went off."

"The satellite's AT-Field protected you," Ritsuko said. He'd been on about it for three days.

"How do you know?"

"Because if it hadn't, you'd be a cinder," Ritsuko said. As a matter of fact, he ought to have been blind, having looked directly into a nuclear explosion. Well, it _was_ Ramiel's AT-Field, which had been so powerful that it warped light passing through it. Perhaps that was why they didn't have four blind fourteen-year-olds on their hands.

Misato left them, and headed for the dining car. What she saw when she got there were several televisions had been taken from their rooms and set up in here, and several younger HALO soldiers, as well as the three Eva pilots, were playing a videogame on them.

"Damn it, how did you get your army over the Waianae Range?" Shinji cursed.

"I'm just that good," an American who didn't look old enough to be in the army and who was playing on the same console said in pretty good Japanese.

"What are you playing?" Misato asked.

"It's a new videogame. Part RTS, part—whatever, I'm not fluent in Gamer. You take a country from WWII and see how history would have been different if you had been in charge, I guess. Sort of. This guy's playing as Japan, and I'm America," Shinji said.

"Really?" Misato asked. That was faintly ironic. "You attack Pearl Harbor yet?"

"I'm launching a full-scale assault on Oahu," the American said. "Once I've conquered Hawaii, I'm going to attack the west coast."

"He's already conquered China," Shinji said.

"Really?" Misato asked.

"Well, to be fair, the guy playing it was a moron," the American said. "Did not understand the importance of keeping his morale up. Also, I assassinated six of his leaders, including Mao Zedong."

"Kid's a tactical genius," Browne whispered in her ear. "He's enrolling in officer's school. Sometimes I wonder if he wasn't made in a lab or something."

"Die, Nazi! Ha-ha!" Asuka shouted at her TV screen.

"Banzai for the Emperor!" shouted the American.

"You Jap bastard," grumbled Shinji.

Misato managed not to burst out laughing. "So, kid, you even old enough to be in the military?"

"I'm eighteen, ma'am. Name's Don James. I go by the entire thing, because I think it sounds Mafia-like."

"Only to you," Asuka said.

"You know you want me," Don James said.

"You're projecting," Asuka said.

"Of course I am. Actually, you _are_ kind of cute—how about you call me in about four years time?" Don James taunted.

The words hadn't been aimed at Misato, but she felt them like a punch to the stomach. Don James was a lot closer to Asuka's age than Misato was to Shinji's, just this side of legal himself, but he still wouldn't get involved with a fourteen-year-old. Yes, it was just a taunt, and a half-hearted one at that, but it really drove the reality of what she was doing with Shinji home. Misato turned, and left the dining car, going back to her room. She slammed the door behind her, sat on her bed, and hyperventilated a little. It passed, and then she just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling for a while.

There was a knock on the door. "Misato, it's lunch time," Shinji said.

"Coming," Misato said. She opened the door and walked with him to the dining car. They couldn't show affection in public, especially not now that the world knew that Shinji was having sex with _someone_, but Misato wanted very much to reach out to him right then, having just been metaphysically bruised. But they couldn't. Alas. "So, who won?"

"The game isn't over, it has just been saved," Shinji said. "Still, it's not looking good for me. The Japanese have invaded San Francisco." Well, if that wasn't a surreal statement.

"I see," Misato said.

"It's going better on the European front, though," Shinji continued. "Asuka has invaded Germany and Spain. Did I mention she is France?"

"Spain?" Misato held the door open as they entered the dining car.

"Apparently, even though they didn't actually enter World War Two, it was a near thing. You can involve them or not in this game, dependant on whether or not someone wants to play them," Shinji said.

"And someone did?"

"No, Asuka just invaded them," Shinji said. "Apparently, taking on Nazi Germany wasn't challenge enough for her."

Misato laughed at that. They got their meal and then sat at a table with Asuka, Rei, and Don James. "Hey, Shinji," he smiled. He looked at Misato, and his smile turned into a smile of another kind. "Hello there."

_Oh, fuck damn it._ Misato said the first thing she could think of to rebuff him: "You're too young for me, sport." _Oh, what a lying hypocrite I am._ Well, She couldn't very well tell the truth, could she? Shinji and Asuka both struggled to keep their faces straight. Then the train lurched to life, and began traveling down the intercontinental railroad once again.

-

Asuka banged on the bathroom door. "Hurry up in there!" she called. Since they were out of the "Danger Zone," the Eva pilots didn't have to work in shifts, but they were still traveling by train so that the Evangelions would be usable as weapons, just in case of another assault.

"Use the other bathroom," Browne called from the shower.

"It doesn't have a shower."

"Then wait your turn."

Asuka waited for five minutes, and then pounded on the door again. "What's taking you so long?"

"Be patient, would you?"

Asuka put her ear to the door. "The water's not even on!"

"I've got to shave and junk, don't I?" Browne asked rhetorically. After a while, he finally opened the door.

"Took you long enough!" Asuka said.

"I was trying this new skin cream to reduce the size of pores…"

"Mother of Christ, could you be more of a woman?" Asuka asked while passing him and then slammed the door without waiting for an answer.

_Oh, what_ever! Browne thought, making sure the bathrobe was tied tight and returning to his room. He turned on his computer and then searched his bookshelf. Finding the proper book, he opened it so that something would fall out of the spine. A couple of years ago, long before the SEELE scandal, HALO had developed a new and powerful piece of technology, a device that could store massive amounts of memory. This "flash drive," as the techs who created it liked to call it, could plug into almost any computer and could store massive files on it, such as SEELE's translations of the Dead Sea Scrolls they had secreted away long before HALO had ever even existed.

He read through them, for the millionth time, and for the millionth time, he thought, _What am I not seeing?_ It was absured to think that SEELE would have been able to induce their plots. Hell, the only way one could even tell that they predicted such a thing ever happening was retroactively, and even then, you had to make some assumptions. Damn it, was he going to have to learn Hebrew to do this? That probably wouldn't help, actually. The scrolls were encoded by their writers, and SEELE had done the decoding (and they weren't about to give him any pointers).

He glared at the text suspiciously. Then he rubbed his eyes, performing a breathing exorcize. He looked at the screen again, and the first phrase his eyes landed on was _Israfel shall walk on the surface of this Earth, but if daemons should attack him, he shall split in twine as surely as Moses used the truth to part the Red Sea, and if one half of him shall die, the other half shall heal him, so that the only way for the Lilim to defeat him would be to kill both halves at once._ O…K… Browne swore that every time he read that passage, it got more nonsensical and harder to comprehend. He thought of something: Browne highlighted _as Moses used the truth to part the Red Sea_, hit underline, and then went throughout the (many hundreds of pages long) document, underlining anything that seemed…wrong. He looked over the document, and found that all the phrases included the words "the truth."

Browne looked at various SEELE members' travel histories over the last two dozen years. Israel. Egypt. Ethiopia. Why Ethiopia? He remembered something that was trivia at the time he had heard it, but just might mean something now. Ethiopia claimed to possess the Ark of the Covenant. Browne went through the document, replacing "the truth" with "the ark," wherever he had underlined it. This made more sense, and was also a lot scarier. They had never found any reference to the Ark in any of SEELE's files or any of SEELE's other stuff. They had made sure to get rid of all of it before they abandoned ship. That meant it was important. Very important. Fuck. And the only person who might have discovered the truth was dead and buried. Double fuck.

_This is going to be a suicide mission, isn't it?_ Those were among the last words Ryoji Kaji had said to him.

_I don't know. But it is entirely possible._

Kaji had sighed. _So be it._

-

Misato awoke to Shinji stroking her face. She smiled.

"Hey, beautiful," Shinji said, moving in for a kiss. It was an almost chaste kiss.

"You sure I'm not too old and wrinkly for you?" Misato teased.

"N-no, not in the least."

Misato sighed. "Relax, I was just teasing you."

"Sorry," Shinji apologized.

"Don't worry, I understand that I can hardly wake up one morning and have you magically become assertive," Misato said. "These things take work."

"I don't want to be assertive," Shinji said.

"Yeah, I know," Misato said. Changing the subject: "We'd better go to breakfast soon."

"And not together," Shinji added. "If we always arrive at the same time, people will start to thinking, and then start to talking. I'll go first." They kissed again, and then Shinji got out of bed and got dressed. He left the room. Misato stretched, put her hands behind her head, and relaxed for a while. She turned on the TV, and learned that the siege of Tokyo 3 was over. This was good news, but after a half hour of their non-stop blabbering about it, Misato was sick of the twenty-four-hour news networks' coverage of it. Then she saw Toji and Hikari telling about their experiences while under siege, and she decided to watch it, anyway. She noticed Hikari sporting crutches and an ankle cast, and of course Toji was in a wheelchair. There was an odd sort of symmetry between them now, thought the back of Misato's head.

She turned off the TV, went back into her room, and then got dressed herself. It was time that she went to breakfast. Asuka, Rei, Shinji, Kensuke, Don James, and a few of the other young HALO soldiers were all sitting at a table.

Ritsuko called Misato over to her table, and after a moment's hesitation, she did. After all, she had to be careful to not be sown to the hip with Shinji. Besides, it was high time she and Ritsuko mended their relationship…even if Ritsuko had known the truth about Human Instrumentality all along.

"It's good to see them act like children, for a change," Ritsuko said. "It's so easy to forget that that's what they are, to treat them like adults, to ask them to sacrifice like adults. They're not, though."

"Tell me about it," said Misato, who managed not to wince at Ritsuko's words.

"You know, you _could_ go a little easy on me," Shinji was saying to Don James.

"As grateful as I am to you all for the fact that I am not a radioactive cinder right now, I'm sorry, but I don't have it in me," the American said.

"Rei, you're Russia—couldn't you attack him?"

"I'm fending off a Nazi invasion from the west," Rei said.

"The way things are going, I'm going to have to pull my forces out of the European Theater in order to keep Don from conquering all of the western US," Shinji said. "Seriously what do you have against the nation of your birth?"

"It's purely strategy. You're playing as what was the most powerful nation in the world at the time, and as my enemy. It makes sense for me to throw everything I've got at you."

"Shinji really is beginning to come into himself," Misato said, a touch wistfully.

"Hmm? Ah, that's good," Ritsuko said. "I hear he has a girlfriend. Any idea about who it might be?"

Misato managed not to jump or otherwise act suspiciously. She took a sip of her coffee (she had gotten used to the fact that there was no beer on this train by now) calmly, realizing that there hadn't been any sort of tone of accusation in Ritsuko's voice. "Not a clue," Misato said finally, lying smoothly.

"Ah, well," Ritsuko sighed. "I suppose that if he wanted us to know, he'd tell us."

When lunch ended, the people at Shinji's table left and returned carrying televisions, presumably the ones from their rooms. They set up their game as people were leaving. "Sure seems to be addictive," Misato said. "Did you happen to catch that game's name?"

"I was hoping you did," Ritsuko said.

There was a sound indicating that Shinji had a message. "What the hell, you're invading Panama? What is the deal?"

"Think about it Shinji. Without Panama, how are you going to get your navy from the Atlantic to the Pacific?" Don James told him.

"Damn you," Shinji cursed.

"Eh. I play to win."

Asuka yelled something in English to one of the other players, who flipped her the bird.

"Tell Britain that I'm going to have to pull out. I've got to save my own ass over here," Shinji said to Asuka, who interpreted it. The same player who had flipped her off said something.

Asuka apparently decided that it didn't need translating. "You know, the four of us should be a team. The others can't understand us when we speak Japanese, but Don James and I can understand them."

"A tempting idea," Don said. "I was planning on being Italy next. Which Axis Powers do you guys want?"

"I want Japan," Shinji said.

"Figured you've learned a few tricks from watching me clean your clock, eh?"

"Oh, I doubt that I'll have the good luck to have China collapse under me, like you did, but I figure that if I can take Hawaii, I the Americans will have to launch their pacific war from San Francisco, and I'll be able to conquer the pacific at my leisure."

"Now there's some good thinking," Don James admitted.

"I learned the hard way how difficult _that_ is," Shinji said.

"I'll be Spain," Rei said.

"Hey! Don't leave me with the Nazis!"

They played their game and talked about it for a while. In spite of Shinji's best efforts, Japan conquered California and the rest of the coast. "Pining over an ill-spent youth?"

This time, Misato did jump. "Sorry. Yeah. We didn't have these kinds of games when we were their age."

"When we were fourteen, Second Impact happened. Most of us were lucky if we had electricity in the year that followed," Ritsuko said.

-

A routine of sorts had been established. In the morning, Shinji would get up first, and have breakfast. Sometimes Misato would get up first, just for variety, but the important thing was that they would never get up at the same time. Misato ate breakfast with Ritsuko and sometimes Browne or some other high-level HALO functionary would join them (but more often Browne ate with Valaskas, and talked business, she supposed), while the pilots ate with their new friends. When breakfast officially ended, they'd set up their game and play until lunch, and Misato would watch TV or else see what Ritsuko was doing. Not very often the latter, however. Friendships took time to heal. At lunch, Misato would eat with the pilots, and more often than not Don James would hit on her.

"I'm too old for you," Misato had said.

"No you're not. I like older women," Don James countered.

"Well, you're too young for me," Misato said.

"I told you that I am eighteen."

"Yeah, well, you look sixteen."

He would continue to pester her, and the conversation would always go pretty much like that. One day, Shinji said, "Hey, would you cut that out already?"

"C'mon, Shinji, you should be rooting for me," Don James said. "If I manage to seduce her, she might decide that she likes her flesh young, and who knows? Maybe it'll be you who gets access next."

"I already have—" _"access," as you call it,_ he was about to say, but he corrected himself, hardly skipping a beat, "—a girlfriend."

"Oh, yeah, I had heard something about you buying condoms a while back. Smooth move, bro. Tell me…is it Asuka?"

"I'm not telling you that," Shinji protested. Asuka had yelled at him, too, but he hadn't paid attention.

"Of course you're not. So, is she good in the sack?" Don James had continued to pester him about it, but Shinji remained tight-lipped as a clam (and for good reason).

After lunch, it all depended on what they felt like. Sometimes they'd watch a movie, or play a game. Sometimes Misato and Shinji would lock themselves in their rooms and fuck themselves silly (but, of course, they'd be all cloaks-and-daggers about going to their rooms so that no one would suspect that they were going together). Sometimes everyone went off to do their own thing. Then came dinner, which was less regular. Sometimes she ate with Ritsuko, sometimes with her pilots, sometimes with people she didn't even know. It was hard to make friends with the people from HALO's Santiago 2 branch, as most of them didn't speak Japanese, and she didn't speak English or Spanish. After diner, Misato would read for a while in her room, and then after it got dark, she'd knock on the door connecting her room to Shinji's (to make sure that there was no one in the room with him), and then they would fuck. If the sound of them fucking every night bothered Asuka, she never mentioned it, and that part of their routine had been established long ago. They closed the blinds on their windows when they did it; yeah, the train was going ninety miles per hour, but you could never be too safe when dealing with the paparazzi. (Fuck, when had they become superstars?)

WWII ended when the Japanese invaded Washington DC, and then they started a new game, after looking at their scores and listening to Don James brag about how he had carried the Axis. This time, it was Shinji who invaded Hawaii, and he took the Galapagos for good measure, severely crippling America's ability to fight in the Pacific. Rei and Asuka divided France between them and then set their sights on Britain, but Rei did most of the attacking there, as Asuka wanted to invade Russia before the weather made it difficult for her men. Don James conquered large swaths of Africa, feeding the continent's resources to his allies. He also instructed them in how to maximize what they had and soon there were recruiting stations and factories all across what the Axis had conquered. Japan didn't outshine its allies as it did in the last game, but then, Shinji had neither Don James' skill nor the incredible luck of having conquered all of china early in the game. As this went on, in the real world, the train sped through Mexico and America, up the eastern side of the Rockies, and then when they got to where the snow was on the ground year-round, they were in Canada, and then the frozen ghost town that was Edmonton.

"Well, the North Pole is only about a couple hundred miles from here, and we're surrounded by the mass of Canada on all sides, so I doubt we're going to need Eva protection. Apparently, the brass agrees," Don James said. "Still, you guys are cool, and I'd like to hang with you at some later date." He and the pilots traded information. "Well, see you." He hopped into the convoy and rode off.

-

"I thought they'd enjoy the launch," Browne said, explaining the presence of Misato, the pilots, and Kensuke in the control room. Valaskas shrugged.

"Private James reporting," Don James said. Apparently, he was the one holding the camera. "All systems appear to be nominal, and as soon as we get—what the hell?" The camera swung wildly, and they saw a massive army attacking. "Damn it, the Separatists tricked us! How did I not see this coming?" as if the blame rested squarely on his shoulders.

The HALO soldiers fought well, but there were only a couple hundred of them, and thousands of the enemy. Valaskas knew that they couldn't win. Don James put the camera down and started messing with something.

"What are you doing, Private James?" Valaskas said.

"Your next orders are going to be to initiate the self destruct, correct, sir?" This wasn't a question.

_Damn straight._ "Only as a last resort. Wait for backup." They both knew this was a lie. The train was three hours away and headed in the wrong direction.

"We're getting slaughtered, sir. There is no time. All we can do is keep the Separatists from claiming the satellite and take as many of them out with us as we can." He lifted something to the camera that looked like a stapler with some thick wires sticking out of it. "Impromptu dead man's switch," he explained without being asked. "I let go, the north pole goes boom."

"You don't need to do that," Valaskas said.

"Yeah, I know that when this thing goes up, it'll be so big that any enemy soldier far enough away not to be instantly killed is too far away to worry about at all, but what can I say? I want to go down shooting, sir. One second."

The door to their makeshift mission control burst open, and North Korean soldiers came running in. Don shot two of them, and then one shot him. He fell, dropping the dead man's switch—and then static. Even from as far away as they were, the people on the train could feel the shockwave from the explosion like a hundred thermonuclear bombs.


	9. Spies and Funerals and Grave Robbing

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Ninth

Spies and Funerals and Grave Robbing

_One week ago…_

There was no such place as Brazil anymore. Much of the nation was at or just above sea level before Second Impact. Many of the two billion who died in the southern hemisphere because of tsunamis were from Brazil, and most of the rest were from Australia. Most of South America was claimed by the Atlantic, leaving a scattering of poverty-stricken islands and the area around the relatively unharmed Andes.

On a fishing boat in a straight snaking between two of the islands sat Keel Lorenz, leader of SEELE, waiting for his phone to ring. The satellite phone finally did, and he picked up. "Hello, this is Mr. Konrad. Whom may I ask is calling?"

"The line is secure," the spy said.

"I take it that means you have something for me?" Lorenz asked. He had been trying to get spies into HALO for months, but until now had not been successful in getting anything important from them.

"Firstly, I'm looking at this list of employees HALO is keeping under survailence, and the names of all our spies in their organization are on it."

"Holy shit." Well, that was one mystery solved. "How did they manage that one?"

"I don't know, but these orders were issued by Browne."

"I thought he was just an advisor."

"Oh, no, he is definitely more than he appears. Trust me. Browne seems at times to be able to read the minds of people around him, like he's psychic or something. It's not an ability he brags about, as he wouldn't work as effectively if people knew he was able to read them. I've been able to fool him, somehow, so I guess it's not really mind reading, though. He and Valaskas have had relations going back almost all of the way to Second Impact."

"You said 'firstly' a while back. I assume that there's a 'secondly,' then?"

"I, of course, haven't been able to infiltrate HALO, but by looking at records…piles and piles and piles of records…sorry, sir. Anyway, by looking at records, I have traced HALO to dozens of puppet companies, the net resources of which, both monetarily and in necessary supplies, are vast enough to create a whole army of angels. It might also interest you to know that both Valaskas and Browne have been making a killing in embezelment."

"Any idea what their ultimate goal is?"

"Considering the political connections they have, that their alleged primary goal is weapons research, the fact that they have invested copious amounts of money into a monetary system slated to take over once the UN—or whatever replaces it—grants itself the right to print money, and looking at recent events with the assumptions that HALO is responsible for the new angels and that it's all going more-or-less according to plan, I'd say that it's quite obvious that they're trying to force Unification, probably so that they can rule the world from the shadows but possibly also just to maximize the returns on certain investments. I think that the former is more likely, though, sir."

"As do I. Where would these angels be being stored, if in fact they exist."

"Looking at records of how much earth was displaced when HALO built their headquarters in Santiago 2 and comparing it to schematics, there is most likely a secret chamber hidden beneath it, large enough to hold thirty or so angels, assuming that there's also a tunnel leading them to the Pacific, as it's not likely that they'd get them out through the city. People might notice a thing or two if that ever happened."

"So to summarize, HALO has a storehouse of angels below Santiago 2. How sure are you of this information?"

"Yes, sir, and I would bet my life, respectively—one second." The spy's voice became muffled, "Yeah, I'll be there in a minute, Shinji." He was back, "Sorry about that, sir."

"Are you in a _public place_, you little idiot???" Lorenz demanded.

"Relax, sir, I know what I am doing. Besides, there's not a whole lot of privacy on a train. Anything else?"

"No, you have done well."

"Alright, then. See you on the other side, sir." The spy hung up.

Lorenz looked at the phone like he was mildly disgusted at it, and then put it away. That Don James was a good spy, but he was a pain in the ass.

"Orders, sir?" the man in the boat with him asked.

"Accompany me to the airport. I will go to Antarctica, and you will go to Santiago 2. You will break into HALO's main building, find the angels, and seize control of one with this," Lorenz handed something to the man. "If they're making the angels the way we think they pretty much have to be, then that device should work."

"And if they're not?"

_Well, then you're holding on to the most expensive paperweight in the world._ "They pretty much have to be."

-

_Present…_

Valaskas was a cold calculating man, some would say a scheming bastard (never to his face, though), but even so, his heart was in torment at the moment. So many good men and women lost…and why? Because he had made a mistake, that was why. Again. He had made a mistake _again_, for the third time in what couldn't have been more than as many weeks. The first was when that angel had howled, in spite of the fact that he had designed it to not have that ability. He had nearly died and gotten everyone around him killed for that mistake. The second was not figuring that an enemy driven to desperation by the threat of _Sahaquiel II_ wouldn't resort to desperate measures and nuclear warheads to stop it. He had nearly died and gotten everyone around him killed for that mistake, as well. The third mistake was that in spite of the nuclear awakening, he hadn't realized that the Separatists would stop at nothing to make sure that the satellite would never see orbit. Valaskas believed that the ends justified the means, and wasn't one to let any number of bodies faze him, but the difference here was that these people didn't die to further his plans, they died because of a _mistake_. People were dead because _he wasn't on the ball_. Valaskas felt like a bumbling idiot, the worst kind of loser. Damn it, some of those people had been his friends, too! Even if this was far better than his little charade would have been in terms of accomplishing Advocate, the price for it had been too damn high.

The pathetic thing was, those Separatists might as well not even have bothered. The damn thing's weapons weren't even operational. It was a tactic Valaskas dubbed The Dashed Hope. People knew of the _Sahaquiel II_ satellite. Its launch would bring them hope, hope that the Separatists could be scared into surrendering to the UN…which would then be dashed when the weapons test failed. All that fear that people would have been able to put aside for a moment would have come crashing down, driving them to demand more protection from the UN, even if it meant taking draconian measures. Ironically, this whole failure would work to that end a thousand times better than what he had had in mind. And even though he was mourning and in a funk, a part of him was still scheming. (He had stopped being disgusted at himself for that a long, long time before this in his life.) This would be a good excuse to get them to make "top secret" acceptable again. Perhaps. If he pushed on things ever so slightly, in just the right ways…

Browne was explaining to the Japanese people what Private Donald James had said and done, but Valaskas couldn't follow. "Call the Canadian military," Valaskas ordered. "Tell them to root out any Separatists that may have been too far away from the blast to be hurt by it," _not fucking likely._ "Also tell them to recover any pieces of the satellite for us that they can." After all, angels were good at surviving impact-style explosions like that. "Turn that thing off. Staring at static will do us no good." Valaskas made a mental note to do something. Set up some sort of monument to the men and women who had died here. With his own money, too.

"I need to go to Tokyo 3," Browne murmured in his ear.

"What for?" Valaskas asked. He didn't usually ask questions when his "subordinate" (ha!) asked for something, but considering the circumstances…

"I need to find out if Kaji found anything we missed—any information SEELE might have destroyed," Browne said. "I'd have said something sooner, but there was nothing to be done about it until we reach Anchorage."

Valaskas nodded. "I'll arrange it."

-

Don James had been likable, somehow, in spite of the fact that he was arrogant, showy, and always hitting on Shinji's girlfriend. Maybe that last bit would have been different if he had known that Misato and Shinji were an item. Then again, maybe not; Shinji had heard stories about him. Still, he had been a friend…and now he was dead. Damn it, Shinji should have known better. Every time you connect with someone, you get hurt. They die, or they leave you…Shinji looked at Misato. _She_ wasn't dead. _She_ hadn't left him. His continuing run of good luck with her had been what allowed him to let his guard down, in fact, but in his current state of mind, he could only wonder when it would happen. Misato grabbed his hand, and Shinji did something he hadn't done in a while. He tensed when she touched him. She noticed, and she drew back. Shinji was sorry that he had tensed, as she looked hurt by it, but he couldn't help himself.

He looked around at the scenery. Keokea was a seaside city in East Maui, fortified against attack from the sea. It hadn't of been before Second Impact. Fortified, a seaside city, or even in East Maui (there had been only one Maui). It had existed, though. It had definitely existed, and survived being assaulted again and again from the ocean before the signing of the Valentine Treaty.

A priest of some sort was saying something in a language Shinji didn't understand, probably English, and though there were interpreters telling people who didn't speak that language what he was saying (apparently, Don James had gotten around), the one speaking Japanese might as well have been speaking a foreign language, too. Shinji wasn't listening, he was lost in his own thoughts.

So much death. His mother, dead. Kowaru, dead. His father, first abandoning him, and then dead. Kaji had been a decent guy, and he was dead. Don James, ditto, dead. Oddly enough, that was not only the chronological order, but also the order of how significant these people had been to him. So much death. So very much death. How was he supposed to take it? How was anyone supposed to take it?

The coffin was lowered into the ground, and they started to throw dirt on it. There was nothing in the coffin, of course. Don James had been vaporized by the mini-impact explosion that the _Sahaquiel II_ had used to end its existence. This wasn't Don James' true grave. Don James' grave was the hundred-mile-in-radius crater that now marked the location of the north pole. It was almost typical that he would go out flashy like that. Him and several other HALO soldiers, soldiers who had ceremonies like this dedicated to them around the world (mostly the Americas), where their friends and family gathered in a cemetery and laid an empty coffin to rest amongst corpses where people would bring flowers or burn incense or whatever was culturally appropriate, but the true grave of these people was the north pole, and their true gravestone an obelisk that was even now being built by Valaskas in the dead center of the crater.

-

Browne watched as Kaji's grave was exhumed in the dead of night, and though he was not an especially superstitious man, he had to admit that this was kind of spooky (not to mention really creepy, but that would have been the case regardless of the setting in which what was about to happen was to take place. The diggers pulled the coffin out onto the surface and opened it. Whoever had embalmed Kaji had done one hell of a nice job. He looked like he was sleeping. _You know, Kaji, I never liked you, but still…_ "I am _so_ sorry about this, man," Brown whispered as he sliced open the corpse's stomach with a knife. The stench of embalming fluid filled the night as Browne reached into Kaji's stomach and felt around. Finally he found what he was looking for, and pulled out a baggie, and inside of it were flash drives. He could tell by the feel. Closing his hand around it, so that the diggers wouldn't see, he pulled it out. "Put him back in the ground." Browne ordered. "I'm going to go wash my hands." That was the truth, but not all of it.

Browne walked to a drinking fountain and washed the various fluids off of his hand and his dagger, and then he opened the bag, pocketing the flash drives. After a moment's hesitation he dropped the bag, which blew away in the breeze. Fuck litter laws—he had just desecrated a corpse. Browne headed back to the grave, and saw that the diggers were carefully putting pieces of sod back in place so it wouldn't appear that the grave had been dug into. Good. _I'll burn incense on his grave, or something._ If he could ever get the smell of embalming fluid out of his nose, that is.

He hadn't had any prior knowledge that the flash drives would be there, but it had hardly been random, either. (If he had thought there was a chance that they might be in one of his pockets, he would have searched them first!!!) He knew that if the drives that he had given to Kaji still existed, this was where they had to be. SEELE would have searched everything he owned for anything the triple, no, _quadruple_ agent had that would incriminate them, and even though they wouldn't know what a flash drive was, they'd know that it had to be important somehow if they found it. Kaji had been loyal to the cause, as much of it as he had known about, and wouldn't have trusted them to anyone else, so when they came for him, he'd either smash the drives or swallow them. After what Browne had just gone through to get them, he sure as hell hoped that they weren't as blank as when he gave them to Kaji.

Next morning, Browne woke up feeling like shit. He had had nightmares about disemboweling Kaji all night. He went into his apartment's bathroom, and looked in the mirror. He thought again about Kaji, and then puked in the sink. Staring down at the vomit, he thought, _Oh, good. I was wondering when that was going to happen._

He went though his morning routine: (coffee, shower, coffee, breakfast, coffee), and then went down to the airport to see the Evangelion pilots as they got off the plane from Hawaii. Shinji, he noticed, was more withdrawn than he had been in a while. The hedgehog's dilemma, which had been tamed and subdued by his relationship with Misato (to a point) had reared its ugly head again. Browne thought he should do something. But first he had to deal with those flash drives. Sorry, Shinji, but your problems can wait.

-

Shinji stood at his father's grave, feeling all sorts of turmoil. They had finally gotten people to stop desecrating it. Suddenly he shouted, "This is all your fault!" Shinji punched the tombstone, and kept punching, and then he sank to his knees, crying, looking dumbly down at his bloody knuckles.

"Hello, Shinji," Browne said. Shinji jumped. He hadn't heard the man approach. No wonder, as he was too absorbed in his own pain at the moment. "Shinji, you're headed down a dark path."

"So many people dead. Friends. Family. Lovers." Shinji winced at his choice of the last word, as there was another lover he was worried about losing at the moment.

"My father died during Impact, and my brother was shot dead by a warlord a few months later. A warlord I strangled with my bare hands. As for my mother…to this day, I have no idea where she is, or where she's buried if she died. My parents were divorced, you see. Don James…was like a son to me. When he joined HALO, I was so proud, like I had created him or something. It was a dark time for me, after I lost my family, and to be quite honest, I can't say that I'm a better person for having experienced it. Quite the opposite, in fact. And I'd rather spare you that."

Shinji didn't respond.

"Let me tell you a story. A fable, really. It's about a clam and a jellyfish. The clam always shut itself away in its shell, while the jellyfish draped its tentacles all over everything, and it was always getting hurt doing this. So one day, the clam asked, 'Why do you do that when you'll just end up hurting yourself?' and the jellyfish answered, 'Yes, I experience pain sometimes, but pleasure, too. If I lock myself off from one, then I cannot feel the other.'"

After five seconds of silence, Shinji said, "You suck as a storyteller."

"Yeah, I'm totally lame," Browne said. "I do know you, though, so trust me when I say you can't close yourself off like you have been. I know you've been seeing someone—and I won't ask who—and knowing you, you'll pull away from her. Don't. After all you've lived through, well, there's worse tonics for it than a loving relationship and sex on a regular basis."

"You don't know me as well as you think you do."

"No? Tell me, do you plan on having children one day?" _Yes._

"Yes."

"You have a name picked out for your firstborn already, don't you? What is it?" _Raven Alexandra Lauren Browne._

"Akiko," Shinji said.

_Akiko Katsuragi. Nice._ "Akiko Ikari. Nice," Browne fumbled around in his pocket.

"Actually, I'm going to take my wife's name."

_Just like your father did._ "I figured as much, but I don't know who your girlfriend is, remember?" Browne said. He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Shinji.

Shinji unfolded it and read, _Akiko_. "Wha—how did you know? How could you _possibly_ have known?"

"Actually, I have about a thousand pieces of paper in my pocket, all with a different girls' name on it," Browne said.

"It's still pretty impressive."


	10. Plots, Romance, War, and Angels

Author's Note: Contrary to what seems to be popular belief, there is _not_ a two-reply-a-chapter limit to this story, so please R&R.

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Tenth

Plots, Romance, War, and Angels

"So, what do you think?" Valaskas asked Browne about their holographic boardroom. "The technology was reverse-engineered from what SEELE was using.

"It seems…lavish," Browne said.

Valaskas gestured at the decorations including two wall-sized maps of the world, one the way it looked now, and one the way it had back before Second Impact, "Oh, they're all just CGIs."

"Why is this thing necessary? It would be much more economical to communicate by phone. Take up much less broad width."

"Sometimes you need to see what you are doing," Valaskas said. He changed the subject. "I've decided to launch the next angel already." A picture of something that was translucient blue and shaped roughly like a stealth fighter replaced the map of old Earth. "This is Number Three. It will come out of the Black Sea and proceed south through the center of the Separatist core, through Turkey, part of Occupied Iraq, and then Saudi Arabia. It has a powerful weapon but only an average AT-Field. It'll destroy everything in its path, but more importantly, it'll also destroy the enemy's will to fight."

"So are we going to go to Greece or to Africa?" _Are we going to try to stop it before or after it destroys the Middle East?_

"Africa. Ethiopia, to be precise. That way, you'll be close to wherever it is when it comes out of Saudi Arabia. So, how are things going with the NERV remnants."

"So far, so good. All of the pilots ready to fight the angels whenever we need the next show. Incidentially, I think Shinji has finally aimed his inner rage away from himself and at his father, which is healthier. Well, relatively speaking."

"That's good to hear," said Valaskas not-quite-dryly.

"There _is_ a bit of important news, though. Those drives I found when I…visited Kaji's grave confirmed that SEELE erased something from the records. They have the Ark of the Covenant."

"I take it that sense they went through all that trouble to hide the existence of that artifact and not, say the secret Dead Sea scrolls, that that's a bad thing."

"Very. The Ark is an alien machine, built by the same people who created Adam, Lilith, and the Lance of Longinus. It contains the knowledge of the First Ancestral Race, and its 'defensive' weapons are quite powerful. Just ask Moses, who brought Egypt to its knees with it, used it to part the waters of the Red Sea, and then started a religion around it."

"I see. So, do you want to state the obvious, or shall I?"

"Whatever SEELE is planning on doing with it, it can't be good."

-

Shinji entered the apartment. "I'm sorry I just ran off like that," he said. "You must have been worried about me, I'm sure."

Emotions warred on Misato's face. Of course, she had been worried, but to express the true nature of it would be to step back over a line she had firmly crossed the first time they had had sex, as she could be a lover or a mother figure to him, but not both.

"You're right, Misato. I must be more assertive at times when I want something. I can't just hope that you'll guess right, and then figure that its just my own damn fault when you don't. I—Asuka could we have a little privacy?"

Asuka, who had been watching TV in the living room, got up and went into her room.

"We've got to talk about the future, Misato."

Misato had been dreading words to that effect, "Shinji, I don't think—"

"I want to get married, Misato. Not right now, relax, but in a few years, when I'm legal. And I want to have children. Three of them, a girl, a boy, and the third can be either. These are the things I fantasize about, Misato. I daydream about making family dinners at some number of years in the future while I wait for you to come home from work. Misato, I understand if this scares you, and to be quite frank, the fear that you'd panic and dump me or something has kept me from saying anything, but I had to say something before we wasted too much time on a lie, so I guess that what I am trying to say is, four years from now, will you marry me?" He hadn't meant for it to be a proposal, he had meant it as something like _are you committed enough to me that you'll still be there for me in four years when I want you to marry me_, but what was said was said. "I'm not trying to give you an ultimatum or anything. I just need to know where we stand. Where we're going."

Fuck. Misato didn't want to make this decision yet. In fact, she wanted to put it off as long as possible, but now Shinji had forced her hand. What was she to do? What was she to say? "Four years to this very day," Misato promised without thinking. Well, hell. This must be true love, after all, for if it wasn't, Misato was utterly convinced that no human being had ever loved another. Was it wrong? Maybe. But, as cheesy as it sounds, if it was wrong, she didn't want to be right.

-

"Hey, Shinji!" Kensuke said, jogging down the hallway to talk to his friend.

"Hey, Kensuke. How are things?" Shinji asked.

"Alright. My footage of you guys fighting the Separatists has achieved worldwide renown, did I mention that?" He wasn't bragging, just saying.

"You didn't need to, I saw it on TV last night," Shinji said.

"Look, there's something I need to ask you," Kensuke looked to make sure no one was listening. "Everyone knows you have a girlfriend—"

"Not _this_ again!" Shinji cried quietly.

"I'm not asking who it is, I just need to know…its not Asuka, right?"

"I can't tell you that. Even if it's not, if I confirm that I'm not dating enough people, someone will figure it out by process of elimination, and then she'll never get a moment's piece," Shinji said. _Yeah, that's one way of putting it. Another is, "They'll send Misato to the slammer for sure if they find out about us."_

"Please, man, I _really_ need to know whether or not it's Asuka," Kensuke pleaded.

"Why?" Shinji asked.

"Because…" Kensuke again made sure no one was listening, and whispered, "I've been thinking about asking her out."

"Oh," Shinji said. _Oh,_ indeed. Shinji tried to picture that and failed.

"Well?" Kensuke asked.

"It's not Asuka," Shinji told his friend.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" Toji asked, wheeling up. Hikari was with him.

"Nothing much!" Kensuke said just a bit too hastily. "Hey, Hikari, ou got the cast off, I see."

"Yeah, but I'm still going to have to use the crutches for another week or so," Hikari said.

"Hey, Asuka! Come over here!" Shinji called when he saw her.

"What are you doing?!" Kensuke demanded.

"You just said you wanted to ask her out. Now's your chance," Shinji said.

Toji's and Hikari's heads both snapped to Kensuke.

"I said I was thinking about it!" Kensuke protested."

"What is it, Shinji? I'm going to be late for class," Asuka said, just a touch irritably.

"Kensuke has something he needs to ask you," Shinji said.

"Yeah, um…sorry if I stutter, but I wasn't going to bring this up until later, when I had what I was going to say all thought out," Kensuke paused to glare menacingly at Shinji, "but, I was wondering…if maybe…that is…"

"Are you asking me out?" Asuka asked.

"Well…yeah," Kensuke admitted.

Asuka shrugged. "Sure, why not? I've got to go; talk to me about the details later."

She ran off. Kensuke collapsed against the wall. "Well, that was torture. How did _you_ do it, Shinji?"

"Huh?"

"How did you ask a girl out?" Kensuke asked.

"When did I do that?" Shinji asked, and then wished he hadn't.

"You have a girlfriend. That had to have happened somehow."

"Oh, right. It just sort of happened. I didn't even really realize that I liked her until I was spilling my guts, and…well, she liked me back. Really, just a quirk of luck that it happened at all or that it worked out so well."

"There's something different about you, Shinji," Toji said.

"Oh? How so?" Shinji asked.

Toji said, "You seem…"

"Happy," Hikari supplied.

"That, too, but more so," Toji said.

"Happy-go-lucky? Outgoing? Playful?" Hikari suggested.

"Yeah, all of that," Toji said. "So, what's the deal? What's got you in a good enough mood to play matchmaker to Kensuke and Asuka?"

"I guess it's just a good day, is all," Shinji said, thinking about a wedding way off in the future.

-

"_Now, Asuka, if he wants to walk you home, he may, but don't invite him in."_

"_Why not, Misato? You let Shinji have sex with his girlfriend here—oh, wait, that's you."_

Asuka chuckled.

"What is it?" Kensuke asked.

"I was just thinking of something funny I said to Misato," Asuka said. "You had to be there."

"Oh," Kensuke said. The closing credits began to roll, and they left the movie theater. Boldly, he reached out and grabbed her hand while they were walking down the street. Asuka didn't let go.

"You're going to walk me home, right?"

By this time, Kensuke knew the proper answer: "Of course." Whenever Asuka asked a question that started with _You _are_ going to_ or _You _aren't_ going to_, it was clearly a leading question, and he'd had better tell her what she wanted to hear, or else. Kensuke wondered for a second what it said about his manhood that he was perfectly alright with playing along with this little game of follow-the-leader, and then he decided that he didn't actually care. If this got tedious, he'd stand up for himself; he wasn't Shinji, after all.

"You know, I really liked that video you shot of me crushing that Separatist scum," Asuka said.

_No prizes for guessing what your favorite part of it was._ "Thanks. A lot of people have been saying that, but from you, it really means something, even though all I did was point the camera in the direction of the action and shoot."

"No, don't sell yourself short. It took a lot of guts to climb out of the train and stand right in stepping range of an Evangelion just to get a shot," Asuka said.

"You really think so?"

"Yeah," Asuka said. "Don't get a fat head, though. It could just as easily have been stupidity. Honestly, you could have been crushed like an ant, getting onto the roof of a speeding train and into the stepping range of any careless idiot of an Eva pilot who happened to be standing by. And really, it's not like Shinji doesn't have enough emotional problems to deal with without squashing one of his closest friends."

They arrived at the apartment Asuka shared with Misato and Shinji. "I had a nice time," Kensuke said.

"Yeah, me too," Asuka replied. Kensuke began to leave, but then she added, "What are you, stupid? You're supposed to kiss the girl goodnight when you drop her off at her home. Don't you know anything?"

"Right. How could I have been so careless?" he turned around and kissed her.

"We're going to have to work on that," Asuka said.

"Right. So, would you like to go on another date with me some time?"

"Sure. I'll contact you with the details later," Asuka said, entering her apartment and closing the door behind her. Her roommates were laying on the couch watching a movie together. "Christ, if you two looked any sweeter, I'd have to go to the dentist. What are you doing? Anyone could have walked in!"

"Didn't we lock the door?" Shinji asked.

"No."

"Fuck," he said noncommittally.

"So, how did your date go?" Misato asked.

"Good. He's taking me out again, when I tell him to," Asuka said. "Seriously, what are you two doing?"

"You and Kensuke were having dinner and a movie, so we thought we'd do the same," Shinji said. The movie abruptly ended, and apparently the VCR was on some sort of news channel.

"I don't suppose either of you feel like getting up so that I can sit down on the couch?" Asuka asked rhetorically.

"No," Misato and Shinji said as one.

"Typical," Asuka said, maneuvering a chair. "The constitutional convention is on."

"The debates, you mean. They've been on for a solid week," Shinji said. He yawned. Somehow he contrived to look cute and innocent, in spite of the fact that he was using Misato's breasts as a pillow. Misato smiled down at him and his cuteness, brushing his hair with her fingers.

"If I _ever_ get that cute with anybody, I want one of you to shoot me," Asuka said.

"Oh, you will one day," Shinji assured her.

"What do _you_ know about relationships, anyway?" Asuka snorted.

From the TV came the noise of something exploding, and they dropped what they were doing to stare at it. It looked like the room the camera was in was undergoing some sort of earthquake. Cameras went outside, and they saw the Twin Towers in the distance, getting saturation bombed. The American air force and navy were already mobilized.

"I thought that they were _in_ the World Trade Center," Shinji said.

"So did I," Misato commented.

Asuka was the first to realize it: "Just like most of humanity thinks that Tabris was not Kowaru."

Misato looked at Asuka. "The clever bastards. Well, I guess the cat is out of the bag now with regard to suppressed details."

-

On the TV:

"Look, this wasn't some sort of conspiracy," the President of the United States was saying. "We figured that it would be best if the Separatists thought we were somewhere we weren't when they launched their inevitable attack."

"So you knew there was going to be an attack?" one of the reporters at the press conference asked.

"Um, let's see: the leaders of the UN and all affiliated nations in one location, conveniently on the seaboard, where Separatist ships can come over the Atlantic and attack it? It seemed probable. Tell them that we are meeting in the old World Trade Center, a building that was the symbol of America's economic dominance of the world Pre-Impact and a symbol of hope for us Post-Impact, seeing how it miraculously survived when even the Statue of Liberty was brought to its knees, not to mention that it's an easy target, being the most prominent thing in the city, and they pretty much _had_ to destroy it.

"Hell, I think that they would have destroyed it, anyway. I know that if _I_ were fighting a war against America, it would be one of the first things I leveled. Then there would be two holes in the ground, and one of them would have really killed us. Besides, a president who knew that the enemy was determined to attack within his boarders and did not immediately think 'Twin Towers' would be a _very_ stupid president.

"I am sorry to see them go. They were a symbol of national pride, of all things American. I know that during the three years so far of my tenure as president, no matter how bad things got, I took personal pride and confidence from the World Trade Center. But though the Twin Towers will be missed, I cannot truly grieve, for, not only did our enemies fail in their mission, but the time for nationalism is at an end, anyway. The time for Unification has begun!"

-

_Amazing,_ Lorenz thought, watching vicariously through the device that was to be planted on the angel. HALO had not known that the angels had even existed before they first began to attack Tokyo 3. They had no Angel DNA (or rather, what angels used instead of DNA) until they claimed the bodies after NERV fell apart. Yet they had managed to create so many realistic-seeming angels in such a short time, and they had been able to create and carry out such an elaborate scheme. Amazing.

Of course, they bragged too much, but that was the nature of things now. You couldn't tell the news media to go fuck themselves like you could a few short months ago, so you had to be clever if you wanted to keep secrets. Every illegitimate thing HALO did had a legitimate cover, and HALO shouted its legitimate business to the heavens. It was really the perfect way to hide in plain sight: Why did we want all of those angel corpses? To build _Sahaquiel II_, of course! Haven't you been paying attention?

Knowing what Lorenz knew about the nature of angels, he knew that when HALO created their angels, they would be brain-dead and HALO would not understand why. Lorenz thought of Kowaru. _Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me._ Kowaru had lied when he had said that there were more angels coming. He had been lying through his teeth in the hope that exactly what had happened would happen, that SEELE and NERV would turn on each other, and that Third Impact and Human Instrumentality would be thwarted. Truly amazing that HALO would figure that out and use it to further5 their goals. Or had they gambled? That would truly take balls.

What would HALO do about their brain-dead angels? Well, when nothing they could do would solve the problem, it would be time to improvise. That's where the monkeys came in. HALO was training chimps to see if they could pilot Evangelions. That was the cover. In truth, they were being trained to pilot angels. There had definitely been something fishy about the way that the "nineteenth" angel fought—or rather, something _simian_.

If Lorenz hadn't missed his guess, whenever HALO needed a new angel to fight, they'd send down the monkey trained to that angel, and then they'd dissect it, putting its brain into the thing. According to HALO's official records, three monkeys in the "Eva Program" have died, supposedly of stress-related issues related to their training. (If PETA had still existed, HALO would be in hot water for that, but with 90 of the world's biodiversity destroyed, no one cared about the environment anymore except with regard to how it affected humanity.) The fact that a third monkey was dead meant that the third angel was prepped and ready to launch, could be being launched at the very moment. The perfect time to kick HALO in the nuts; they had had everything going their way for far too long.

The spy entered the angel hanger, which was vacant, as in this state the angels were about as dangerous as the comatose (and HALO were hardly going to put guards down here, wanting as few people to realize that this place existed as possible), and selected one that looked like an impossibly giant centipede. It's long, tubular body was possibly inspired by Armisael. Just being close to the creature activated the device, which floated up to the creature, and into it's head. Keel Lorenz now had complete control of this creature, and he sent it down the angels' exit hatch, setting off alarms. He didn't care about his spy. The man had served his purpose. The angel swam in the deep ocean currents, making a bee line for Antartica.


	11. The Ants Go Marching

Author's Note: Sorry for the lateness of this chapter, but I recently started working, and things have been hectic over here. Also, this chapter may be subject to drastic revisioning. If it happens, I'll notify anyone who has R&R'd this story or added it to their favorites (sorry, but that's the only way I have of knowing who actually read it). It probably won't happen, but keep the possibility in mind.

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Eleventh

The Ants Go Marching One by One

Jose Valaskas sat at his desk at HALO's new Canadian Branch. Most of HALO's top minds were here with him, piecing together what was left of _Sahaquiel II_. This time, when it went up, there would be no errors in its system. The time for pussyfooting around was over. The world government had been formed, and it was run by HALO-backed politicians. Politicians who would make the laws that HALO wanted made. There were still a few loose ends to tie up—the war (which the UN forces had been winning, anyway), finding out what happened to SEELE (it wasn't safe to have people who knew so much about the angels running around in HALO's world), and then launching the _Sahaquiel II_ and destroying a few angels with it. That was important. Maintaining the Evas and their pilots was expensive and a nuisance, not to mention dangerous (there was no telling when one of those kids would snap and start destroying stuff with their superpowered mechs). Valaskas no longer wanted people to be afraid for their lives, so once it had been demonstrated that the satellite could destroy angels quickly, conveniently, and without the angels getting anywhere close to a human settlement, the Evangelions could be retired, their pilots rewarded and thanked for saving the world almost twenty times before they even reached the age of consent, and then they could be forgotten about.

He looked out the window at the black marble obelisk that marked the center of the Polar Crater (as it was already being called). Beyond it was _Sahaquiel II_, or maybe it ought to be called the _Sahaquiel III_ now. Nah. This crater would actually be pretty handy in the future. It would be convenient to have a big flat empty space to store shit you wanted to blast into space. His phone rang. "What is it?"

"Sir, we've had a breach."

"What sort of breach?"

"One of the a—the _beasts_ has escaped. I'm sending the data to your laptop now. We're keeping track of it with the All Seeing Eye," the unofficial name of HALO's other satellite, the one that had "found" the "nineteenth angel."

"And you suspect foul play."

"The operative that appears to have been responsible is dead. Also, those things don't just get up and walk around on their own."

It seemed obvious to Valaskas that SEELE was behind this. If anyone was capable of bringing a brain-dead angel to life, it was SEELE. "Good. I'll call you when I have orders."

"Wait. Sir, shouldn't we do something?"

"Seal off the secret lab, both exits, tighten the building's security, and then forget about it until I order otherwise."

"Sir…"

"What are you—worried that the beasts will starve?" Angels didn't eat. Or breath, for that matter. "We do not need them at the moment, so make sure that the garage is locked up tight so that no one can steal my Porsches, as it were. Is there a problem?"

"No sir. We will wait for orders."

Valaskas hung up, and looked at the info. Then he looked at the what the All Seeing Eye had to show him. The angel was headed straight for Antarctica. "Well, this is obviously a trap." Yes, but why? What did SEELE hope to gain? Assuming that they were still after Third Impact, there were only a couple of things they could want: Adam's or Lilith's DNA. It seemed unlikely that they would be lacking one or the other, but as Valaskas wasn't liquefied and SEELE apparently thought it was strong enough to attack him and had something to gain from doing so, it could be nothing else.

Alright, so SEELE had somehow failed to gather one or both sets of DNA before they disappeared. Stranger things have happened. If it was Adam's they were after, it was quickly on its way there, albeit in a highly corrupted form. Could it be that this wasn't a trap, that the reason they were being so careless was that it was endgame, all or nothing? No, if they wanted Adam's DNA, they would have gotten all of the angels to come to them. They'd know what they could expect to have happened to the DNA of these things. They'd be lucky to be able to recreate Adam from all twenty of Valaskas' manufactured angels. Therefore, they had to be after Lilith's DNA.

Which existed in two living carriers: Unit 01 and Rei Ayanami. Both of which would be sent to deal with the angel. Clever. Very clever, SEELE. Valaskas looked at the course of the angel again. Still headed towards Antarctica, and presumably the white egg. He smiled. SEELE had gone through all of this trouble to get his attention. He might as well send them a message by taking his own sweet time at showing up.

He called the Santiago 2 branch again. "This is Valaskas. Here are your orders: Sever the beasts spinal columns, and then partially rip out their cores. Not all the way, though; I don't want them dead. Just so that they can't move if their brains start working, and they that if they do, their cores fall out and they die. I want to make sure that our friends at SEELE can't pull the same trick twice and also that we can fix them easily when the time comes." He hung up.

Pressing the intercom, he asked, "When can the satellite be ready for launch?"

"Two weeks."

Valaskas' phone rang. He turned off the intercom and picked up. "Hello?"

"It's Browne. James was a spy."

"Are you sure?" Valaskas asked. He would never have guessed, not in a million years.

"I'm sending you the information via satellite connections as we speak. Check the computer."

"I'll do that. Thanks. And, uh…"

"Yes, I'm alright."

""Well, its just that, he _was_ awfully close to you."

"I know. I just…I just…" Browne hung up. Was it Valaskas' imagination, or was Browne mumbling by the end of that conversation?

-

Browne watched as the twentieth angel fell to earth, destroyed. This had gone exactly as planned. His mind was a million miles away at the moment, though. He was staring down at Don James' letter to him.

_Hey old man,_

_If you are reading this, I am dead. Court marshaled and executed, no doubt. Somehow, I always knew that you were going to win in the end. I had to try, though. I had to know if I could get away with it. I want you to know that I feel no and have never felt any animosity towards you, and that my betrayal is in no way your fault._

_Damn it, I'm no good at this emotional BS. There are three codes written at the bottom of this letter. Go to my personal computer and type in the first code as the password to my account. You'll get an error message. Then type in the second. You'll get another. Then type in the last. You have to go through all of that in order to get to my shadow account. Don't try to hack it, I designed the firewalls myself. Once you're there, you'll find that I have recorded and/or otherwise documented my entire career of spying for SEELE. Every last scrap of data is there._

_I know that you're probably hurt by this betrayal. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself…well, you probably heard all of this already when you executed me. No need to explain it again. I hope your next protégé won't be a cocky asshole like me._

_Farewell forever,_

_Don James the One and Only_

Browne hadn't of been able to believe it, until he actually did as the letter instructed. He had then called Valaskas and told him, but even as he spoke, he could feel himself slipping, falling from his persona. He had tried to meditate, but nothing came of it. He just came back to the same disturbing fact: _Don James was a traitor._

Don James was a traitor, and Browne hadn't even known. How was it possible, that _he_ had been deceived, of all people? But then…a couple years ago in New Honolulu, Don James was sixteen at the time, they were eating in a restaurant, and he began to hit on the waitress. He swore up and down that he was eighteen…and Browne wouldn't have been able to tell that he was lying if he hadn't known for a fact that he wasn't.

Don James had had the wholly unique ability to lie without the slightest sign that he was lying. There were lots of people who could lie with a straight face, even a few that could lie with their eyes, but what Don James did was above and beyond that. He could fool a lie detector. More impressively, he could fool Browne, who had caught people lie detectors had missed before.

Don James… How? Why?

It could be worse. Browne could have been having this mental breakdown earlier. It didn't matter now; his duty here was complete. With Unification completed, there wouldn't be any more angels until the satellite was up and running. Then it will prove the Evas obsolete, and then…

The phone rang. Browne answered it without speaking.

"You there?" asked Valaskas.

"Of course."

"We have a problem. Something is happening in the white GeoFront, and we think SEELE is responsible. The Evas must get there ASAP."

"Is it bad?"

"There's a stream of white light shooting skyward out of Antarctica. And, uh…I didn't say anything earlier, but one of the beasts has escaped, and ran there. The centipede."

_That is not according to plan. SEELE? Must be._

"You've got nothing to say?"

"Yeah, actually…" he handed the phone to Misato. "Talk to him. I'm going to bed."

-

"_Shinji, lets dance," Kowaru had said._

"_Okay."_

"_Wrap your arm around me like this, and take my other hand like this." They were now in a waltz. "Stand on my feet."_

"_Why?"_

"_Trust me"_

"_Okay. Like this?"_

"_Perfect." They began to lift up off the ground._

"_What the hell? Are we _flying?_"_

"_Relax, Shinji, or you'll fall."_

_Shinji relaxed. "How is this possible, Kowaru?"_

"_Exactly how you think it is possible, Shinji. I am an angel. My name is Tabris."_

"_Why are you doing this?"_

"_So that you would believe me when I told you that I was an angel. I need to prepare you, Shinji, for what I fear is the inevitable end."_

"_Are you breaking up with me?"_

_Kowaru laughed bitterly. "No, Shinji. But I cannot suppress my angelic urges for much longer. Some day soon, I will try to find and merge with Adam, and then I will no longer be me. Naturally, NERV is going to try to stop me, and…if one of us has to die so that the other may live, I'd rather you be the one who lives, Shinji. You _deserve_ to live, my dearest."_

"_Please…no."_

"_I'd change it if I could, but every day I resist the urge to merge with Adam is a day that I tempt fate. And I must make you make a promise for me, Shinji."_

"_What promise?"_

"_If I should die, don't follow me into death. Live, Shinji. Live, or I would have died for nothing."_

"_Damn you."_

"_Promise me."_

"_I promise."_

"_Thank you, Shinji. Now, then, there are things that I need to show you…"_

"What are you thinking about, Shinji?" Misato asked.

"Huh?" Shinji asked, shocked from his memories. "Oh, nothing really. You?"

"How cute you are," Misato replied. They kissed.

"I still can't believe you didn't freak when I told you my plans for the future. You're not exactly the think-about-the-future type," Shinji said.

"I did freak. I have no idea how I managed to say _anything_, much less the right thing."

"Kind of like when I first confessed my feelings to you that first time. I had no idea what I was going to say or even that I felt that way until I said so. Hey, Misato? Why did you…you know, do what you did?"

"You, you mean," Misato received a slight smile for her cheesy joke. "Honestly, I have no idea, and frankly, I don't fucking care anymore. I admit that I spent a lot of time wondering about it, wondering about what kind of person I was, but you know what? Fuck it. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Misato toyed with a lock of Shinji's hair. "Still, it amazes me how much more confident and self-assured you have become since that day."

"It makes you feel less like a creep," Shinji said knowingly.

Misato paused for a moment, the lock of Shinji's hair still wrapped around and between her index and middle finger. She realized in that moment that the entire reason he had been coming into himself, the entire reason he even wanted to, was to make her less anxious about their relationship. In his own way, he was protecting her as much as she was protecting him. A similar epiphany had caused her to burst out in uncontrollable nervous laughter towards the beginning of their relationship. This time, Misato smiled; "You know, this may sound pathetic, but this is the healthiest relationship I have ever been in."

-

_Why?_ Browne asked himself. That Don James had been able to lie to his face would have shook him enough. The fact that the young man who had been like a son to Browne _would_ do such a thing did more to loosen the bolts on Browne's mental rig than the fact that he _could_ ever could. Browne went over that sentence again. _Could ever could._ Yeah, it was grammatically correct, strangely enough.

"The Separatists have surrendered!" shouted a gleeful voice on the radio. English, South African accent. That made sense: the ship was probably passing the tip of Africa at this very minute. "That's right, ladies and gentlemen, the war is over. The Separatists have surrendered, and agreed to the world government's terms…" He went on to describe in detail what they were. Browne already knew the gist. Separatist nations were now conquered territory. Those born there from this date forward were citizens, but those already extent weren't. They were subject to all of the world's laws. There would be money spent on schools and stuff, officially to bring them up to the level of the rest of the world's people and help smooth over the war, unofficially in order to look good, but in reality so that they could shove fist world values down third world throats. Ironically, the Separatists were getting exactly what the feared all along. And quite frankly, in Browne's opinion, it was exactly what they deserved. He admitted to being a cultural imperialist, but only in a loose definition of culture.

He ignored the radio, and flipped over onto his back. What was he going to do with himself? There came a knock on the door. Browne ignored it. "I know you're in there, damn it!" Asuka shouted. "It's not as if you go anywhere else, these days." Browne remain silent, trying to will her away. "God damn it." Asuka threw the door open.

"Hey. You have no idea what I could have been doing in here," Browne complained.

"It stinks in here. You stink. And look like shit. When was the last time you showered? Or shaved?" Asuka continued as if she hadn't heard him. "You're rarely seen out of your room any more, and when you are, you never make eye contact with anybody or talk to them. What the hell happened to you?"

"I…that is…ugh."

"What the hell was that? Damn it, man, what are you doing? What the hell has happened to you? Aren't you the psych guy? You're not allowed to have mental breakdowns."

She was saying all the wrong things (though she meant well), but the way she said them, and the way she was holding herself… "You know, you remind me a lot of Don James."

"Thanks." Asuka didn't know about his betrayal. For the best, Browne supposed.

"Why are you here?"

"You saved me from a catatonic state. I'm returning the favor."

Browne laughed. "You're right." He gathered a clean uniform, his robe, and various grooming implements, and he headed towards the showers.

He washed himself thouroughly, and used more shampoo and conditioner on his hair than any other ten people onboard this ship combined. All the while, trying to regain some semblance of the control he once had. He did battle with millions of snags in his hair, and then dried himself off. He shaved his face, and then noticed some gunk in his armpit hair that wouldn't come out, so he shaved those, too. He dyed his hair back to its normal shade of deep brown, and then really noticed for the first time that there were two rows of sinks, and so two rows of mirrors above them. It created an eerie effect, making it look like there were an infinite number of rows, and an infinite number of him, all standing in pairs, staring at one another. Was it his imagination, or did they begin to change slightly in the "distance"? It was like looking into alternate worlds… _The quantum wave does not collapse…_

Browne snapped out of it. It was just a mirror, and another mirror. It did not have the power to look into alternate universes, and neither did he. There were times when he liked the idea of the quantum wave not collapsing (_there would be a world out there where Second Impact never happened_), but most of the time he didn't (_there would also be a world where Third Impact _did_ happen, and also one where Hitler won WWII_), but whether he liked it or hated it, it did sound like something the God he believed in would do. " 'And lo, for I have created the infinite universe, and populated it with stars, creating the processes of random chance and nonrandom selection so that on each world only the best would survive and that no two worlds would be alike, and to be sure that all possible worlds come to be and thus ensure that sentience arises by default, I have built into the fabric of time the ability to shatter whenever an event of random outcome occurs, each timeline following a different outcome. And now that this is done, let us watch, and see what happens.'" Browne chuckled at himself internally.

Taking advantage of the same trick of mirrors which had disoriented him for a second, Browne tried to braid his hair. It took a while, but he finally got it, and then, as he was mostly dry by now, he put on his fresh clothes. He left the bathroom, and saw that Asuka had been waiting for him. "Thank you, Asuka, for—" An alarm rang. "It's time."

They parted ways, Asuka to the Eva prep area, Browne to the bridge. _Confident. Be confident. Confidence is the key to everything._ It was time to find out how good an actor he was without his self-hypnotic tricks. "Status report."

There was a moment of silence that lasted forever. And then: "Sir, we're at the location of the white egg, and ten meters to our port side…"

-

There was a column of light shooting out of the water, and circling it like vultures circling a dead animal were nine flying…things.

"What _are_ those?" Asuka asked. "Angels?"

"I've never imagined angels so uniform, but anything is possible," Shinji said.

"Valaskas says that they're 'mass produced Evangelions,'" Browne's voice whispered.

"How do we fight them?" Asuka asked.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"I have no idea."


	12. Mass Produced Evas

Author's Note: This chapter is exceptionally short. The next chapter will probably be exceptionally long, unless it ends up being cut in half and each become a chapter (that wouldn't be the first time that that's happened—do you really think this story was supposed to be this long???), and maybe even then.

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Twelfth

Mass Produced Evas

"What _are_ those?" Asuka asked. "Angels?"

"I've never imagined angels so uniform, but anything is possible," Shinji said.

"Valaskas says that they're 'mass produced Evangelions,'" Browne's voice whispered.

"How do we fight them?" Asuka asked.

"Honestly?" Browne asked.

"Yeah," choked out Asuka, who knew that the answer wasn't going to be good.

"I have no idea," Browne said. The second he said them, he knew he shouldn't have. _The old Browne would never have said anything so careless, so undermining of these soldiers'—these children's—confidence._

"Well. I love a challenge," Asuka said, with what was no doubt more bravado than she felt. "Don't worry, I'll lead us to victory."

_Thank you, Asuka; thank you, thank you, thank you!!! If you were sixteen years older, I'd marry you._ At the moment, Browne would have, too.

"Right," said Shinji, who didn't really believe her, but was trying to force belief with all of his might. Browne did not blame him for his fear; there was something sinister about the mass produced Evas. Something sinister about their cetacean heads, about the vulture-esque quality of their flight, circling the pillar of light, like nine sentinels. These were Eva Units 05 through 13.

"Afirmative," agreed Rei flatly. Was she even scared? Was it his imagination, or did Browne hear a slight tremor in her one word reply, a slightly higher octave to her voice? Browne was in no way in any condition to analyze her at the moment, being paralyzed with fear himself.

Browne stared up at the mass produced Evangelions, and he thought, I am going to die. Right here, right now. I am going to die, and then Valaskas will rule the world. And God only knew what Valaskas would do if he ruled the world and Browne wasn't there to…temper…him. Alright: to control him. Valaskas, Browne had learned early on, was utterly ruthless and virtually without conscience. He hadn't needed his special skills to tell him that; in fact, this had been before he had learned them (he had always been empathetic, however). Browne had accepted him as he was, because utterly ruthless and virtually without conscience was exactly what Browne had wanted to become, ever since that day when he saw his brother murdered by a warlord. One had to be utterly ruthless, or they would be swallowed by the world's sorrows and their mind would break under the pressure of it all, more than any man could bear…didn't they?

Browne stared up at the mass produced Evas, his mouth dry, his brain turned to putty. He…he didn't know what to do? He fervently wished that he was not in charge here. This was his boat, figuratively speaking (but not literally; the ship had a captain who was in charge of it), and so it was his responsibility to tell everybody what to do. Their lives were his responsibility. If they lived, it would be because of him; if they died, it would also have been because of him. There was only one problem with that scenario, though: he had no idea what to do. Browne was not a military commander of any sort. He knew nothing of the greater stratagems of war. He had never even won a game of chess in his life, that he could recall. He was the absolute last person who should have been in this position.

_Don James would know what to do._ The sad thing was, he probably would, too. If he would even be on their side in this battle. (_Why?_ Why had he defected to SEELE? Did he truly believe that the world would be better if Human Instrumentality had taken place? While it was a view Browne could sympathize with, he doubted that it was one Don James himself would have been able to. Perhaps some questions were unanswereable.) Thinking of Don James caused an upwelling of sorrow, which—_quit it!_ He had no time for this.

Browne had to do something! Say something! Build up the confidence of the pilots and crew somehow. _When in doubt, state the obvious._ "Those things must have S2 engines, or they'd be falling out of the sky about…now." For one glorious split second, it looked as if one of them _was_ about to fall into the ocean, but it turned out to be a trick of the thermals. The enemy Eva righted its flight quickly enough. Browne nodded. "S2 engines. Definitely." _What the hell are we doing here?_ Browne wondered suddenly. It seemed suddenly apparent that the intelligent thing to do would have been to sick about a dozen angels on SEELE. If people wondered why the angels would behave that way, hey, who really understood how angels thought, anyway? Or they could make something up. The power from this beam of light being like the call of a thousand Adams, or something. Why would the angels attack SEELE? Really, hadn't they been attacking SEELE all along? There was no way Valaskas could not have seen that.

But if he had, then why send the three Evangelions, the three _real_ Evangelions, into this deathtrap? Ah. There was the answer. Deathtrap. Valaskas sends the Eva pilots and Browne to Antarctica, where they are slaughtered by SEELE, and then the angels come to slaughter SEELE. It was a beautifully double-edged trap. On one hand, Browne was out of the picture, and Valaskas would then be able to rule the world alone. (As a bonus, the whole Eva pilot situation would be cleared up quite nicely.) On the other hand, SEELE will have had to tip their hand to Valaskas, showing him at least a piece of what they were capable of. Win-win.

Browne did not think for an instant that Valaskas had planned this. He would have seen any signs of planned betrayal and acted appropriately. (He hoped; then again, it was possible that he was too soft to kill his best friend.) (And then, maybe he wouldn't of seen the signs…after all, he hadn't seen the signs of Don James' betrayal, and that had obviously been going on for a long time, according to the records he left for them detailing it. No; Brown would _not_ think like that.) Valaskas had seen an opportunity, and he had jumped at it. It was as simple as that. And it was going to work, too.

"They're not coming for us," Shinji said after ten seconds total had gone by.

"How do we get their attention?" Asuka asked. Which was, of course, the moment they chose to dive-bomb the ship-bound Evangelions. "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer," Asuka mumbled to herself. Aloud she said, "Alright, there's nine of them. That's three for each of us. Don't get greedy!"

One came right for Asuka. She grabbed it by its forehead and crushed its skull, and then used its momentum to lift it over her head. Holding it by what was left of its head and its crotch, she squeezed it until she was drenched in a shower of blood.

Meanwhile, Shinji drew his progressive knife, preparing for the one that was coming for him. It actually landed on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier that was serving the Evas, and then bound at him, retracting its wings while doing so. Shinji stabbed it up thrugh the jaw and into its brains before its wings had fully retracted, only to have his knife break. "Shit! Hey, guys, don't use your progressive knives. They'll break."

"Affirmative," Rei said, putting her progressive knife away after using it to cut off the arm and then the head of one that had come after her. Then the rest came. Shinji, knifeless, picked up the weird-looking weapon (Heavy Lance) that was dropped by the MP Eva he felled.

Asuka was tackled by two of the mass produced Evangelions, and couldn't reach them with her knife. One of them opened its mouth and lowered its head towards her, for all the world like it was going to take a bite out of Unit 02's shoulder. _That's ridiculous, Asuka._ Well, whatever it was doing, Asuka fired a needle pack into its head from the internal weapons rack in her right shoulder. The other one grabbed her head with its hand, trying to squeeze her. Asuka used its arm to pull it closer to herself, and then she reached for it's throat, which she literally tore out.

Meanwhile, Shinji was in a Heavy Lance duel with two more of the mass produced Evas which had landed on the bridge on his watch. Thrust. Block. Perry. Thrust. Perry. Block. _Yeah, like I know what any of that means! Why didn't I learn kendo when I had the chance?_ He managed to cut the throat of one clear through to the spine, causing it to fall, and then he was down to one. He cut its leg off, causing it to fall on its back, and stabbed it in the "face."

Rei had punched through the chest of one that had come onto the deck after her. The last Eva threw its lance at her. Rei reached out, and blocked it with her AT-Field. It was slowly making its way through. Then…it transformed. The Heavy Lance had turned into grey version of the Lance of Longinus. The fake Lance of Longinus was stuck in the AT-Field for a few more seconds, and then slid through, continuing its flight into Unit 00's abdomen.

Shinji saw this happen just as he was pulling his own newly-acquired Heavy Lance from the skull of his last enemy, and he screamed, tossing it at the flying Eva. It looked at him just in time to get a face full of lance, and fall into the ocean.

"Rei, are you alright?" Shinji asked.

"I am…fine," Rei said, strained. "It didn't hit anything…vital."

"I'm going to try to pull the Lance out of you, okay?" Shinji asked.

"Afirmative," said Rei, nodding inside of her entry plug.

"Alright…three…two…one…ugh," Shinji pulled the fake Lance of Longinus from Unit 00's body. "Are you still alright? I didn't rip anything inside of you when I did that, did I?"

"Negative. I am fine, Shinji," Rei said. "Just a little…worse for the wear."

"Oh my god, something has to be wrong; robot girl made a joke!" Asuka said overdramatically. "Not a very good one, granted, but still. Call an ambulance."

Browne noticed the ease at which they had defeated the other nine Evangelions. "Maybe it wasn't a trap, after all," he mumbled.

"Pardon me?" Misato asked, who was standing right next to him.

"I said it wasn't much of a trap, after all," Browne said. "I expected more, from SEELE." Something was bothering him, though. These mass produced Evangelions were…stupid. They had a clear aerial advantage, not to mention weapons that could penetrate the AT-Fields of their foes, so why not stay back and shoot them like fish in a bucket with those freaky weapons of theirs? Browne had figured that out, and he wasn't exactly Alexander the Great. Yet, instead of doing the intelligent thing, all but one of them had come in close to do battle, usually using melee attacks.

Browne remembered that he and Valaskas used the brains of chimps to control their angels. So what was SEELE using to control these things? More chimps? Spider monkeys? Dead bodies? Soulless clones of Rei, Asuka, and Shinji? Another question, speaking of their artificial angels: where was the escapee?

"Yeah, I'll bet that the old men are really shaking in their boots, now!" Asuka said. "Alright, these pathetic excuses for Evas are weighing down our ship, so lets toss them overboard before we go on the offensive."

"Excelent idea, Asuka," Browne said.

"Right. I'm keeping this Lance," Shinji announced. "If it can penetrate AT-Fields, it will come in handy in future angel attacks."

"Hmm, I'll take one, too, then," Asuka said.

"Right," Rei said. After picking out their weapons, the three Eva pilots pushed the mass produced Evas over the edge of the ship.

"Alright, lets go!" Asuka said.

"Wait, we're picking something up!"

"What is it?" demanded Browne.

"It's the mass produced Evas! They're—" The mass produced Evangelions broke the surface of the water, beating their waterlogged wings frantically for every precious inch of lift.

"Okay…this will be a little harder than I though," Asuka said. "But hey, their injured now, and we're armed with their weapons. We'll just mince them into tiny little pieces. What's the worse that could happen?"

"Are they regenerating?" Browne asked. Suddenly, he wished he hadn't brought up the possibility. The children were doing such a good job of fighting, in spite of his "leadership."

"That doesn't appear to be the case."

The mass produced Evangelions flew in a circle over the pilots, more like vultures than ever. Then a giant centipede-like monster rose out of the water and pulled Unit 01 in. Shinji yelped in surprise.

"Shinji, are you alright?" Rei asked.

"Where did this thing come from? I'll deal with it; you two deal with the undead freaks," Shinji shouted, turning his Heavy Lance on the escapee angel. He stabbed the thing, and pulled the Heavy Lance up the length of its body.

"Alright," said Asuka. "You take four, Rei, I'll take five."

Browne watched this, amazed. He and Valaskas had designed every one of their angels to be destroyed, of course. Either by Evas or by the _Sahaquiel II_, depending on how their plans unfolded, and so there was a specific way in which the angels were supposed to be killed if they were to fight the Evangelions. Slicing it the long way up its body was not the way in which an Evangelion was supposed to kill it, as that was supposed to be impossible. It just went to show you what nice toys SEELE had kept for themselves. Bastards.

Something exploded in the angel's body (whatever SEELE had used to control it?), and it thrashed about wildly, in its death throes. It tossed Shinji into the beam.

-

"Shinji, wake up," a familiar voice said. A voice Shinji would never forget and thought never to hear again. His eyes bolted open. It was him.

"Kowaru? You're alive?" Shinji asked.

"Not exactly," Kowaru said.

"Then…am I dead?" Shinji asked.

"Not exactly," Kowaru said.


	13. Many Truths Revealed, Part 1

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Thirteenth

Many Truths Revealed, Part 1

"If I'm not dead, and you're not alive, then what is going on?" Shinji asked. He looked around the room they were in. The walls were made of stone, but seemed to glow, and were covered in a flowery motif.

"This is the room of Gaff," Kowaru said.

"The room of Gaff? I mean, I've got to get back! The battle! Mass Produced Evangelions—"

"This is where angels come from," Kowaru explained. "Time doesn't exist here, so relax."

Shinji looked around the empty room. "There doesn't seem to be anything here," he said.

"Yeah, well, what do you expect? There aren't any more angels," Kowaru shrugged.

"So we killed them all? It's over?" Shinji asked.

"Of course, Shinji. I was the last," Kowaru said.

"You were the last?" Shinji asked?

"Of course. You know this, Shinji."

"But…you said…"

"Shinji, SEELE and NERV were up to something, something that couldn't have been good for you. They most likely both planned to double-cross one another, and so…I bluffed," Kowaru said. "There are no more angels. It would be impossible. There were only ever fifteen souls for the children of Adam."

"But…we fought more angels. There were three more, at least," Shinji said.

"That's impossible, dearest," Kowaru said.

"But it happened," Shinji said.

"It doesn't make sense."

" 'It's been my experience that if something happened and it doesn't make sense, it is because something is wrong with the way you're looking at it,'" Shinji said.

"That sounds like a quote," Kowaru said.

"It is. This guy I know. An American, his name is Browne. He said it to me the first time we met," Shinji said. "It stuck. Wow, that was just before the eighteenth angel…er, I mean…"

"I know what you mean," Kowaru said. "Alright, then. There are angels out there attacking humanity, in direct defiance of the fact that that is impossible. As there is no possible answer, the question must be wrong. That Browne guy sounds smart."

Shinji nodded. "He is."

"So lets look at it from a different angle," Kowaru said.

Shinji tried to think back, to look for relevant clues to this puzzle. "I'm not getting anything."

"Ah, well. Luckily, we're sitting on top of the ultimate tool for looking at things from different angles."

"The hall of Gaff?"

"No. The Ark of the Covenant. The room of Gaff is attached to the Ark and also to the White Seed," Kowaru said. "There is, however, one thing we have to do before we use it like that."

"What?"

"The whole reason I am here instead of the afterlife is because I am Adam's soul. As such, it is my duty to sit inside of the Ark of the Covenant and wait for discovery.

"You see, the White Seed and the Black Seed were never meant to land on the same planet. They are supposed to land on two different planets in the same system, so that when lillim explore their system and land on the other world, they find life there, as well. And this is where the Ark should be, with the other world. There, you learn the truth about your origins. What I am saying is, once we're inside the Ark, I'll be forced to give a spiel."

"Sounds interesting," Shinji said. He looked around. "How do we get there, though? There aren't any doors."

There was sudden blackness, and then there was an explosion. Shinji and kowaru were floating in nothingness, staring at an expanding mass. "The Big Bang, artistic rendering. It's a load of BS, though. At this point in the existence of the universe, there would be no light, as there is too much matter clogging every last nanometer of the newborn universe. The crucible. The beginning of the universe as we know it, the one composed of electrons, neutrons, protons, as well as some positrons and anti-protons, in three-dimensional space. As the universe expands, the matter soup loosens enough to allow for visible light—well, visible if there was anyone there to see it, that is—and the universe becomes a very bright place.

"Then matter forms into giant spheres called stars, but not the stars we know today. Super-massive stars, the size of galaxies, burning hydrogen and helium, because those were the only gasses that existed back then, all other materials in the universe were created through the fusion reactions that take place in stars."

"Yeah, I know that," Shinji said. "Who doesn't?"

"Bear with me, dearest. This is the part you don't know: not all super-stars were created equal," Kowaru said. "That is, some of them exploded earlier than others, and as these are supermassive bodies were talking about, the differences could be up to billions of years. The remnants of the superstars would create the stars and planets of the galaxies we know today, but before they had all exploded, even before very many of them had exploded, there were already mini-galaxies forming, with 'normal stars' and planets in them."

The scenery changed. They were no longer floating. They were lying on their backs on a grassy knoll, staring up at a blue sky with wispy clouds. It could have been earth, except that the sky was filled with thousands of suns, some a tenth the apparent size of Sol when viewed from Earth, some barely larger than normal stars.

"This was the night sky of the homeworld of the First Ancestral Race. Those 'suns' are super-stars, thousands of light-centuries distant," Kowaru explained. A great red sphere rose over the horizon. It reminded Shinji of what the sun would look like billions of years from now, but somehow too small. Kowaru must have seen the look on his face, because he said: "This planet is much farther away from its sun than yours is from Sol. The sun being a dim red giant that blocked out the light from other stars, this world's days were ironically darker than its nights.

"The people who lived in this young universe were gods. They dared to do the impossible. They discovered the secrets of the universe, one by one, until they knew everything. They dreamed of shaping the universe to suit their purposes. And they did.

"The First Ancestral Race learned of the AT-Fields, and implemented them in their creations."

"I've noticed," Shinji commented dryly.

"The AT-Field is the barrier that separates every soul from every other soul, and from the all. You people seek a soul that is separate from the body, but no such thing exists; life is the state of having an AT-Field, and death is what happens when your AT-Field breaks down and you rejoin with the all. The earliest life forms evolved the AT-Field so that they may concentrate their consciousnesses on their personal needs."

" 'Life is a fad indulged by matter and energy. One day, they will grow up and cease with such silliness,'" Shinji quoted.

"Ah, yes, you remember me saying that. It's true. The only thing that separates the self from the all is the AT-Field."

"So every rock is alive?"

"No more than your kidney is. Actually, less, because your kidney is made of cells. But as the matter that is your body holds your consciousness, so does the matter that is the universe hold its consciousness.

"For millions of years, the First Ancestral Race dominated their galaxy, but they knew that the end was coming. So they created life. They created the two strains, the two Trees. The Tree of Knowledge produced the Black Seeds, the Lilith strain, which was programmed to create the lillim. The Tree of Life produced the White Seeds, the Adam strain, which was unprogrammed, so that other possible paths of evolution could be studied.

"The great stars died and from their bodies rose the galaxies we know, the proto-galaxies became wisps of dust floating in the void between their younger brethren, and the seeds spread across the newborn galaxies around what had been theirs. The dead hand of the First Ancestral Race reached across the Milky Way, the Andromeda, the Pegasus, and everywhere it touch sprang life—human life. This is the reason that lilim worship beings that look like themselves. These were the first gods, the only true gods."

The scene changed again. They were floating above a solar system. "This is your solar system in its youth. Notice anything wrong? Look at the third planet."

Shinji looked. "That's not the Earth. That's a double-planet."

"Two planets. The Seeds were to land, one on each, but the landing of Seeds, it's not a gentle thing. The world that was to be Lilith's crashed into the one that was to be Adam's and a good portion of the world was ejected into space, becoming the moon. The rest coalesced into its sister world. There were two bodies before and two bodies after, but while before they had been equal, now one was six times the size of the other, and both eggs were on the lager sphere, which might as well have been the case, as it was the one with atmosphere. This was First Impact. The First Ancestral Race prepared for something like this, though; as every Adam had an Ark, every Lilith had a Lance of Longinus. And then, well, you know the rest.

"The beginning of life, blah, blah, blah, evolution, blah, blah, blah," Kowaru waved his hand. "Then there was Second Impact, which was caused when a bunch of lilim didn't leave well enough alone. Look, I understand that you people are biologically incapable of leaving well enough alone, but couldn't you at least figure out what you're doing before you start pressing buttons and shit?"

"Actually, SEELE planned Second Impact, and there would have been a Third Impact if they had their way," Shinji said.

"That…doesn't make sense," Kowaru said, shocked. Shinji explained Human Instrumentality to him. "Oh. And that's what I stopped from happening? Thank God it was stopped, then. That is a _very_ stupid plan."

"It is?" Shinji asked.

"Death is what happens when your AT-Field breaks down. Breaking down the AT-Fields of every human being on the planet would have all the drawbacks of death, as in loss of personality, and none of the benefits, as in being one with the universe and not having to deal with being part of an organism. Not to mention, a creature whose soul is made of the souls of lilim will have the same needs of the soul as lilim, specifically, companionship. In short, it's a fate somewhat worse than death."

"Ouch," Shinji said. "So, are we ready to do this thing yet?"

"Almost. There's one last thing. This is more something I want to make clear than anything I am required to say."

"What?"

"We…my siblings and I, that is…we never wished any ill will onto the lilim. All we wanted was to rejoin with Adam and go back to sleep. We were tossed into the world, incomplete…like I said, our purpose was to seed life. Did you ever see any seeding organs on any of our bodies? This was why we searched for Adam, why we wished to join with our parent," Kowaru said.

"But…" Then Shinji remembered. Back at the beginning of this improbable series of events which had become Shinji Ikari's life, Sachiel hadn't attacked first. It had been attacked long before it reached Tokyo 3. "We started it," he said, awestruck. "_We_ started it; _my father_ started it!"

"SEELE started it. It was always their war, to gain control of the Tree of Life," Kowaru soothed.

"And they all used me. During this entire fight with the angels, I was their pawn," Shinji said. _So why am I still fighting angels?_ He had the crazy idea that he was still, somehow, their pawn, and it filled him with rage. Then he calmed himself. Most of his temper tantrums seemed to end before the impulse to hurt something had reached the nerve endings—before they started, in other words.

"Shinji, before we do this, I've got to warn you, it will be a little…weird," Kowaru changed the subject.

"Weirder than what just happened?"

"Much. Now, like I said, time doesn't exist here. That's because we are actually somewhat outside of time and space. And…well, what do you know about quantum physics?"

"Not a lot."

"Well, just take my word for it that there is an infinite number of alternate universes out there in which certain things happened differently. You're going to experience other universes vicariously through your doubles—you'll see what they see, think what they think, etcetera. There's really no preparing yourself for something like it. Are you ready?"

"One second. Alternate universes? Does that mean that I'll be hanging with Genghis Kahn or whatever?"

"No. That's alternate _reality_, not alternate _universe_. Ready?"

Shinji nodded. The next thing he knew—

**¡FLASH!**

How could he? How could he have? That was all that was going though Shinji Ikari's head. Don James had been a friend, and here he was…

"The accused is hereby convicted of treason, and sentenced to death. This court marshal is over, take him away."

"Wait," Browne said. "Donald…why?"

Don James half smiled. "Haven't you figured it out? I thought this was your specialty. Probably just in shock, no doubt. Well, I'll give you however many clues you need. I am and have always been the best at everything I do. I know fifteen languages, not because I have any real need of that many, but because I am just that competitive." There was an edged to Don James' voice Shinji had never heard before: vindictiveness. It was hard to believe that this venomous traitor—traitor to SEELE, no less!—was the same person as the easygoing guy who routinely kicked Shinji's ass in videogames.

Don James continued: "You, however…no one could lie to you. You are the master of the mindfuck, the human lie detector, the lord and master of all things psychological, and damn it, it was possible that you might be better than me. At first I tried little lies, and I seemed to get away with it, but you could have just been humoring me. You are like the father I never had, but the thought that you might be playing games with me, not taking me seriously…God, it was infuriating!

"Some wise guy once said that it is our limits that make us human, but try as I might, I could never find mine. So what does that make me, old man? What does that make me?"

"It is human nature to want to test one's limits, and you never could…" Browne said.

"…causing me to become estranged to myself. To view the world surreally. To take desperate measures, just to reaffirm my own humanity," Don James said. He sighed. "You know, I would have preferred to die saving the world or something dramatic like that, but this way, at least I die a human." _Just like him, to always get the last word._ He walked towards his death with his head held high, defiant to the end.

**¡FLASH!**

"Fuck damn it!" Shinji cursed, coming to himself. Then: "Don James…was a traitor?"

"Friend of yours?" Kowaru asked.

"Yes. I only knew him for a few days, but…yes. He died a hero," Shinji said.

"Tell me when you're ready," Kowaru said.

"Ready for what?" Shinji asked, though he knew.

"We didn't find the answers yet," Kowaru said. "We must try again."

"Damn it, I did not like what I saw."

"Right, I should have warned you about that. Sorry," Kowaru said. "Damn it, all I ever wanted to do was protect you, and now I'm subjecting you to this. Look, we don't have to do this—"

"Yes, we do," Shinji said. "I have to know what is going on. Do it!"

**¡FLASH!**

It was a closed casket funeral. Of course. Don James' charred remains would have caused vomiting. Shinji had certainly vomited, when they pulled what was left of him out of Unit 01. _How could someone so smart be so stupid?_ Don James had insisted on trying it out, in spite of being too old to be good pilot material. He begged and pleaded and got a few strings pulled, and finally he got to try it. His sync ratio had been somewhere around 30 the first time he tried it, and then it dropped…and dropped…and dropped. Long after he dropped below the minimum ratio that someone could have and still be a pilot candidate, which he had barely been above in the first place, he continued to try, and his ratio continued to fall. In a ghastly parallel of the time that Shinji had been absorbed into Unit 01, Don James had gone berserk in there, actually achieving a -300 sync ratio, and the Eva cooked him alive. Much like the way your body is trying to cook germs alive when you have a fever. Damn it—how could someone so smart have been so stupid? Why didn't he give up? The answer, of course, was because he didn't have it in him to give up.

"Hey, Mr. Browne," Shinji said softly. Browne was the one he really felt sorry for. Don James had been like a son to him.

"Hey," Browne said.

"So…how are things?"

Browne shrugged. "They are as they are. The _Sahaquiel II_ is in orbit, but there's something wrong with it's weapon. We're going to have to bring it back down and fix it…or send someone up to it. Look, Shinji, take it from someone who has lost loved ones before—"

"I have, as well," Shinji said.

"Oh, right. Sorry, I just sort of had a brain fart. Of course you have. You already know what I was going to say, then," Browne said.

"It's understandable," Shinji said soothingly.

"How do you do it, Shinji? You've had more horrible shit happen to you than even I have. So how do you stay strong?"

"You're stronger than I am, Mr. Browne."

"No, I'm not. I am simply fueled by rage, Shinji, rage at the human condition. And I have a direction, a purpose, something to use the pressure to reach. As soon as I have accomplished my goals, I will have nothing left, be nothing more. I died fifteen years ago. You, however, are alive and growing stronger, every day. How do you do it?"

_Misato._ "I have a girlfriend."

Browne actually smiled, but not like he was happy. "Ah, right. Of course. At this point in my life, though, it's beginning to look like I will never marry." He chuckled mirthlessly. "All this shit I have accomplished, all that I have made of myself, and I shall never do the one thing I have always wanted to do! I shall never marry, I shall never see the smiling face of my firstborn baby daughter—"

"You want your firstborn to be a girl, too?"

"Yeah. And I shall name her Raven Alexandra Lauren Browne. Her little brother shall be named Jalen Florian Kia Browne. Would have been, that is," Browne said.

"Akiko and Kira, respectively," Shinji said. _Akiko Katsuragi. Kira Katsuragi._

"Nice."

**¡FLASH!**

"Wow, your friend sure seems to be death-prone," Kowaru said.

"I guess he is," Shinji said, shaken.

"Are you sure you want to continue this?"

"Yes," Shinji said.

Kowaru nodded. He kissed Shinji on the forehead. "Very well."

**¡FLASH!**

They were operating out of an abandoned school in Ethiopia. The twentieth angel was making mincemeat out of Saudi Arabia, but HALO wasn't about to enter enemy territory. Shinji entered the classroom that was serving as Browne's office. "You wanted me?"

"Yes, but not just you. Have a seat, if you like," Browne said, and then resumed pacing furiously. Shinji looked around, but all of the desks were stacked against the wall, so he just leaned against the chalk board. After a minute, the door opened again, and Misato came in.

They saw each other, and they both tried to pretend that it wasn't awkward. Secret relationships were hard to keep secret. Secret breakups were even harder, if you lived and worked with the person, and had many of the same friends.

"Ah, good, you're both here. Lock the door, Misato." Browne went to get something from his desk. "Normally, I don't like to butt into the affairs of my underlings, as long as they don't affect the performance of their duties, but this _is_." Browne tossed the papers onto his desk. "Those are your latest sync ratios, Shinji, and they're dropping off the face of the earth."

"I'm sorry," Shinji mumbled, looking at his feet. At least, if he was looking at his feet, he wasn't looking at Misato…

"Don't be sorry, damn it! Fix it. That's what we're doing right now. We're fixing it," Browne said.

"Fixing what?" Misato asked.

"What's wrong," Browne said. "Welcome to couple's therapy."

Misato paled; Shinji knew he must have, too. "W-what are you talking about? We're not a couple," Misato said defensively.

"Cut it out," Browne snapped. "I know about the two of you, okay? I've known since I first met you, and even if I hadn't, your reactions right now would prove it." He cleared his throat. "Ahem. We're going to sit down and talk out your problems right now."

"So…you approve of this kind of thing?" Misato asked, pointing to herself and Shinji.

"As a general rule, no. But you two strike me as being well and truly in love," Browne said. "You might want to get seats; this could take a while."

**¡FLASH!**

"Misato and I broke up in that universe?" Shinji lamented. Then he remembered who he was with.

"Oh, so you two are an item? I'm glad; I always knew there was something between you," Kowaru said.

"I thought she was the one," Shinji said.

"Shinji, don't worry about it. That Browne guy is going to get alternate-you and alternate-Misato back together again," Kowaru said.

"How do you know? Did you see into that world's future?"

"No. I didn't need to, Shinji. He's right. Even back when we were an item, you and she were halfway-in love," Kowaru said. "Look, maybe we should stop."

"Why?" Shinji asked.

"If you're so disturbed by this, something truly world-shattering will, well, shatter you," Kowaru said.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I'm so built into myself and Misato…"

"And that's understandable," Kowaru assured him. "The thing is, there is no such thing as 'the one.' There are an infinite number of universes in which you end up with an infinite number of different partners, or none at all, and the longer we do this, the more likely it is that you will see yourself with someone other than Misato. And the other you will love this other woman, too, most likely. Can you handle this, Shinji?"

"I don't know. But I'm going to continue to do this. I'm sick and tired of being people's pawns," Shinji said. Kowaru sighed. "What?"

"It's just that…you're so different now," Kowaru said. "In a good way. You're sure of yourself, stronger, more resilient. I tried to do these things for you, but couldn't. Misato did, didn't she?" Shinji nodded. Kowaru nodded. "She did what I could not. If this is what my death has bought for you, I'm glad I made that bargain."

"Kowaru…"

"No. She is better for you than I was. It's good. It's just…to see you, become everything that I ever wanted you to be, and I can't even kiss you…it is a hard thing, to know you're not mine," Kowaru said.

"I'll al—" _…ways be yours._

"You can't say it, can you? That's because you know I'm right. Thanks for the thought, but we both know that there is only one sun at the center of your universe, and it's not me anymore; it's Misato," Kowaru said.

"Ahem," Kowaru cleared his throat. "Back to business. Before we continue where we left off, I want to run some test cases, to see if you can handle this. One second. It's going to take a little while. I'm looking for a world far removed from this one, and one in which you are dating someone you don't even know in this universe." Kowaru closed his eyes. After a minute, he opened them. "Alright. Are you ready? Here we go."

**¡FLASH!**


	14. Many Truths Revealed, Part 2

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Fourteenth

Many Truths Revealed, Part 2

"Alright. Are you ready? Here we go."

**¡FLASH!**

Shinji heard the horn at the same time that he saw the convertible. Shinji knew nothing about cars, but he knew that this one was nice. "Coming!" he said cheerily, moving quickly down the school's steps and tossing his bag into the back seat of it.

"Hey, baby, you come here often?" the blonde driving it asked.

Shinji stuck out his tongue playfully, hopping into the car. "Hey, stranger, anything you want will be fifty-five thousand yen."

"You've raised your rates."

"You know I'm worth it," Shinji said. "So, Jessica, what's the plan for today?"

"I'm going to kidnap you and then we're going to get married. I can do that, to: here in Japan, you're legal," Jessica said. "Then I'm going to have my way with you."

"That sounds nice," Shinji said. She was, of course, kidding. For one thing, being an American, she wasn't going to go all the way with him until he was eighteen (one of the drawbacks of having a girlfriend who was four years older than you). For another, Jessica James was much too much of a free spirit to settle down and marry.

"What's that you got there?"

"This? It's the latest design from NERV Technologies," Shinji said. His father owned the company, so he got the hottest stuff right off the rack. His life rocked.

"Hmm…I vaguely remember a company by that name…"

"We made the iPhone obsolete, and you know it," Shinji chided.

"Nope, still not ringing any bells. Say, what does 'NERV' stand for, anyway?"

Shinji playfully punched her shoulder. "You know damn well what NERV stands for! Anyway, as I was saying, this is our newest model."

"It looks like a can of pop."

"Watch." Shinji pulled at a tab on the side of the cylinder, and a sheet came out.

"It's a scroll," Jessica said.

"Yes, and no; this sheet is actually a touch screen. I can make the screen any length I want, up to three feet," Shinji bragged.

"It's still only six inches wide," Jessica pointed out.

"Yeah, well, they wanted it to be convenient. It does all the things the last model did; access the internet, play videogames, music, has a fingerprint lock so that only the proper user can use it, and you can still access our TVs with it, too." That was the thing which had really allowed NERV to blow iPhone out of the water: NERV also sold a plasma-screen TV which could be wirelessly connected to their product, allowing for full screen entertainment (just use the handheld like a remote).

"So, basically, it's the same thing as the last one, but you can use it like a full-sized keyboard," Jessica said.

"Exactly," Shinji said.

"And how much does it cost?"

"Three hundred sixty-nine thousand yen," Shinji said. "Give or take."

"That's expensive, for a keyboard. I've bought whole computers for less than that," Jessica said. "Besides, there's already whole cults of people who use 'ye olde god machine' for everything up to and including their bank accounts and storing secret government files, and I'd rather not contribute to that."

Jessica smiled. "Besides, rather than waste my money on your parents' company's products, I'd rather waste it on you."

"Oh, really? There's these new tennis shoes I've been wanting to get…"

Jessica laughed. "Speaking of cults, my parents were in a cult once."

"Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah, it was a long time ago, back around the turn of the century. You see, there were a lot of people around back then who thought that the world was going to end in the year two thousand. This one particular bit of idiocy, called the Y2K bug…but I digress. They came to their senses, which was good, as the cult collapsed when the world conspicuously failed to end fifteen years ago."

"So what's the point of that story, aside from 'Americans are stupid'?"

"Hey, don't make this a nationalistic thing on me, cutie, because you will lose. Let me count the ways in which Japan is fucked up—"

"I take it back!" Shinji said. "So, what are we going to do today?"

"Hakone."

"What? Why?"

"There's something I really want you to see."

-

The sun was setting over the town of Hakone, as Shinji and Jessica watched from a mountain road. "Majestic," Shinji breathed. There was no way in hell he was going to get home in time for his curfew, and his parents were going to skin him alive for it, but he didn't even care.

"I was driving down this way, last week, when I saw it. Awe-inspiring, isn't it?" Jessica said. "Not to mention, a good place to make out."

"Were your parents really in a cult?" Shinji asked.

"No," Jessica said. "I'm a chronic liar. Everything I say is a lie. I am lying right now."

"Typical," Shinji said. "So, what you said about making out…"

**¡FLASH!**

"That wasn't me," Shinji said. Although, it was eerily parallel to when Misato had taken him to see the sunset over Tokyo 3. In fact, Jessica had parked in the exact same spot and they had viewed the scene from the exact same place on the exact same road, for Hakone was the old name for Tokyo 3.

"What do you mean?" Kowaru asked.

"He had such a…such a normal life," Shinji said. It was the only way he could put it. "His biggest worries were about curfew, and the latest fads. When he says something like 'my parents are going to kill me,' he does _not_ mean it literally. He lives in a world where none of this crazy stuff that defined the world I live in ever happened. It's so surreal as to be unreal," Shinji said. "Why, what did you think I mean?"

"The breaking point between this world and that one was well before you were conceived. In order for you to exist in it, the same sperm had to hit the same egg as happened when you were conceived in this universe. That sounds like a statistical improbability, but it's actually not so much in an infinite multiverse. Still…I thought you might have meant that there was something chromosomally different about your double," Kowaru said.

"Wait…so you can put me into the bodies of people who are not exactly me?"

"If there's only one or two chromosomes difference," Kowaru said.

"So there's a chance that I could end up a girl one of these times?" Shinji asked.

"If we keep going to worlds that divided from ours before…" Kowaru did some mental calculations, "…September of 2000, then yes."

"Anyway, are you alright? Did that shatter you?"

"I'm alright," Shinji said. "Like I said, that world was…surreal."

"Because it was a world without Second Impact and your love interest in that world was someone you don't know and who might not even exist," Kowaru said. "This time, it may to hit a little…closer to home."

"I'm ready."

"I hope so," Kowaru said.

**¡FLASH!**

_Step, two, three; step, two, three._ This mantra kept going through Shinji's mind. You wouldn't know from looking at him that he was only a beginner, though. Of course, Asuka was within close enough physical proximity to be able to tell in other ways.

"Shinji, stop shaking," she chided. It was their first school dance.

"Sorry," Shinji said.

"Oh, this is pointless. I'm board; lets go make out."

"Okay," Shinji said. Asuka took his hand and led him down the hallway. As she led him, Shinji stared at the back of her head thinking: she's mean, she's abrasive, she's rude, she's bossy, and she always has to have her way. Why the fuck do I love her? _I guess I'm just that kind of guy. Ah, well; nothing to be done for it._ And the truth was, he wouldn't change himself if he could.

"Alright, this looks deserted enough," Asuka said, and then summarily turned a 180 and physically attacked him with her mouth. There were up sides to being "that kind of guy." After a few minutes of intense making out, they heard a noise.

"What are you two doing?" Misato asked.

"Uh…nothing, Ms. Katsuragi," Shinji said lamely.

"Then get back to the auditorium," Misato said.

"Right, Ms. Katsuragi!" both fourteen-year-olds said at the same time, bowing, and leaving.

"Fucking bitch," Asuka added as soon as they were out of earshot. Only Asuka.

**¡FLASH!**

"Well?" Kowaru asked.

"That was…disquieting. But I think I'm getting used to it," Shinji said. "I'm beginning to realize, down here…" Shinji tapped his heart, "…that there is no such thing as 'the one.' It is illogical to think that in all the multitudes of humanity there is one and only one somebody, but there's no reason to fear, though; all you can do is be with the one that makes you the most happy, and for this me, in this world, that's Misato." Then he remembered who he was saying this to. "That's not to say that what we had wasn't special—"

Kowaru held up his palm. "Shinji, I'm dead (for all intents and purposes). It's good that you have moved on. And you might as well live a long and happy life with her, because I'm not going to the afterlife any time soon. Live, love, have children. These are the things lilim, and lifeforms in general, are supposed to do. Now, I take it that the tutorial is over; are we ready to get back to work?"

Shinji nodded. "Hit me with your best shot."

**¡FLASH!**

"Hey, didn't there used to be monkeys in those cages?" Shinji asked.

"Chimps, and yeah, we were trying to see if we could train them to be Eva pilots, but now that the _Sahaquiel II_ has made the Evangelions obsolete, they've been released back into the wild," Kaji said. "It wasn't going too well. As you can see from the logs, three monkeys died."

Shinji fingered the medal he had gotten from the prime minister of Earth.

"Just like we have been," Asuka said what Shinji had been thinking.

"Come, now. You kids should be glad that you don't have to duel monsters for the fate of humanity on a semiregular basis anymore," Kaji said.

"Hello, Kaji," Browne said. "Its nice that you could be here. You brought your charges, I see."

"Good to see you, too, my friend. It's been hard ever since Misato…" Kaji choked up.

Shinji choked up, too. Misato had been killed in a surprise raid on Tokyo 3 by the Separatists. He himself had been spared, just barely…if the shrapnel had happened to land a few feet to the left, it would be the other way around.

"Many people have died, but we have seen to it that no one will ever die in war again," Browne said. "We did the right thing, my friend."

_I wonder what that means,_ Shinji thought. But he would soon put I out of his mind.

Kaji seemed shocked at the slip. "Are you drunk?"

"Just a little bit. I've been slamming down vodka-and-cokes all night, but you know me and my high tolerance. Hey, maybe now that I've had a head start, you can finally keep up," Browne said.

"It's just not natural for someone who drinks as rarely as you do to have such a high tolerance," Kaji said. "Then again, you certainly do make up for it, slamming down a month's worth of alcohol in a single night."

"Well, then it's good I only drink once a month, then," Browne said. "Hey, you kids want to try some?"

"We're not twenty," Asuka said.

"So?" Browne said.

"Please don't get my charges drunk," Kaji said.

"Alright," Browne said, shrugging.

**¡FLASH!**

"Damn it!" Shinji said.

"What is it? Weren't you ready?" Kowaru asked.

"I'm fine, although the idea that Misato could have died does fill me with fright, I must admit. It's that I thought I had something, but it's not quite clear. Something to do with monkeys…Damn it, the other me wasn't paying close enough attention," Shinji cursed himself.

"What are you thinking?" Kowaru asked.

"I'm not sure yet…oh, this is useless! Nothing is becoming any clearer…" Shinji was hit with something. It wasn't another _¡FLASH!_, but it could have been, for all the strength it had:

_Browne: "It's been my experience that if something happened and it doesn't make sense, it is because something is wrong with the way you're looking at it," Browne said._

_Anchor: "…something that seems to be another angel commenced an attack on the city of Kabul in Afghanistan at six hundred hours this morning, Japanese standard time."_

_Misato: "Hey, that's Browne's voice."_

_Browne: "Damn! I've been here since five!"_

_Asuka: "So those Taliban assholes think they can take care of the angel all by themselves? I hope it wipes them from the face of the Earth."_

_Browne: "…we are invading Afghanistan."_

_Kensuke: "Hey, Shinji, I hear you started a war."_

_Unification…Separatists…angels…monkeys?_

"Kowaru, I'm not sure, as my double didn't think about it overmuch, but I think the angels were different in that world," Shinji said. "Find a world where the angels are different, or at least timed different, and that that scene happens similarly in, though."

"I'll try, but I don't know how much control you think I have over this thing, though," Kowaru said uncertainly.

**¡FLASH!**

"Why are we even going to this stupid party?" Asuka asked.

"To celebrate," Misato said. "The war is over, and we don't have to worry about the angels any more, either."

"But why are Shinji and I coming with you? What are we going to do at your stupid party? We're not old enough to drink."

"You have special permission, just this once." Misato said. "Just don't overdo it, okay?"

"C'mon, kids, it's fun to get wasted," Kaji said.

"Kaji!"

"What?"

They parked the car, and went into HALO HQ, and then through a maze of corridors. "Hey, didn't there used to be monkeys in those cages?" Shinji asked.

"Chimps, and yeah, we were trying to see if we could train them to be Eva pilots, but now that the _Sahaquiel II_ has made the Evangelions obsolete, they've been released back into the wild," Kaji said. "It wasn't going too well. As you can see from the logs, four monkeys died."

Shinji fingered the medal he had gotten from the prime minister of Earth.

"Just like we have been," Asuka said.

"Hey, now, that's hardly fair," Kaji said.

"Aren't you glad you don't have to risk your lives dueling monsters for the fate of humanity on a semiregular basis anymore?" Misato asked.

The door to the party opened. "Hey, Kaji," Browne said cordially. "Hey, Misato," he took her hand and kissed it.

"Damn it, Browne, what have I told you about hitting on my woman?" Kaji asked.

"_Your_ woman?" Misato asked.

"I mean…you know what I mean."

Browne brushed the whole thing off with a wave of his hand. "Alls fair in love and war."

"You've been hanging around that protégé of yours too much," Kaji said.

"He hits on me, too," Misato said.

"No shit? But you're, like, a decade older that Don James is," Kaji commented.

"So?" Browne asked. "It doesn't matter to him. Good sense, in my opinion. Lucky little bastard, I wish I got half as much tail as he gets when I was his age."

"Or as much over the last seven months as he gets in a week," Kaji teased.

Browne put his hands over his heart. "You wound me!" he said overdramatically. Then normally he said: "The sad thing is, that's actually true. I fucking need to get a girlfriend. Hey, Misato…"

"You know, if I thought you were serious about that, I'd hurt you," Kaji said.

"You're not serious?" Asuka asked.

"As much as I would like to sleep with Misato, I, unfortunately, have a sense of honor, and so don't actively chase after my friends' girlfriends. Or Kaji's. C'mon, lets all go get drunk."

**¡FLASH!**

"Different monkeys died," Shinji said. "And the angels were different, too, I think. Sonuvabitch! HALO is behind the new angels."

"And they're using the brains of chimpanzees to 'pilot' the 'angels,'" Kowaru said.

"Put me back."

"Why?"

"I need to know _why_ they're doing this, and Browne was getting drunk, so…"

"Ah, I see what you're getting at. I've got to remind you, though, that you're not actually controlling the body you're in. You're just along for the ride, seeing what your doubles are doing, and he probably does not have an agenda like that."

"I realize that."

**¡FLASH!**

Shinji had no idea how he had gotten into a drinking contest with Browne, but here he was, on his fifth shot of Yeager. "You can really hold your alcohol, cancha?" noticed Browne.

"Apparently," Shinji shrugged.

"That's actually a pretty good indicator of a genetic predisposition towards alcoholism, so you're going to want to be careful. I myself make it a point to never drink more than once a month. Which is good, because I tend to go through a bottle of this stuff," Browne lifted the bottle of Yeagermeister for emphasis, and then poured them both another shot while he was holding it. "Wait, lets pour Kaji another shot."

"Kaji passed out," Shinji pointed at where Kaji was snoring in the seat next to Browne, as if he wouldn't have believed him otherwise.

"Yeah, I know. I want him to know how badly we drank him under the table, though. Lightweight. He'll probably be hung over when he wakes up tomorrow afternoon."

"What's a hangover like?" Shinji asked.

Browne shrugged. "Don't know. I'm not susceptible to them. I've drank until I've puked before, without getting hung over, which means I'll never get one, because if you drink until you puke, and then go back and drink some more…well, 'nuff said." They downed their shots. "You know something, Shinji? You're good people. I like you. You remind me of me. But in a good way."

"In a good way, eh? As opposed to in a bad way, I suppose, but then, they say everyone's the hero in their own story," Shinji said.

"Not me," Browne said proudly. "I'm the villain. Or, at best, anti-hero. But, if that's what I have to be in order to accomplish my goals, well, the ends justify the means, Shinji. Are you the hero, Shinji?"

"Nah. Damsel in distress."

Browne laughed. And laughed. And laughed. "Amen! That is the awesomest thing I have ever heard! I love you, kid; lets see if we can't get you laid."

"Actually, I'd rather if losing my virginity were something special," Shinji said.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, that's right, you and Kowaru never…anyway, that's commendable, I guess. Make sure you keep to it, because nothing makes you feel lower after saying something like that then giving it up to some drunken whore," Browne said. "Trust me on that one."

"Thanks. So, mister villain, what are those goals that justify their ends. I mean—you know what I mean."

Browne poured them another shot, and they drank them before he answered, "I'm gonna rule the world." He grinned widely, and Shinji laughed. And laughed.

"Wow, I really _am_ wasted. That wasn't that funny."

"So, Shinji…you like anybody?" Browne asked.

"What do you mean?" Shinji asked, a bit nervous.

"You hang around with three hotties all the time, and have no other friends that I know of. Which, don't get me wrong, I don't think you _need_ friends who don't happen to be hot chicks, but…what was I talking about, again?"

"Me liking people. And I don't."

"I don't like people, either. Nosey bastards, always wanting to know what you're doing and how you're feeling and why you're not playing with the other kids. They killed my brother, man. Oh, wait, you meant _liking_-liking. Sorry about that. So, what? Nothing for la blue girl?"

"Rei's a clone of my mom," Shinji said.

"She _is_ cute, though."

"Then _you_ do her."

"Ew! No way! She's, like, fourteen, or something. I forget." Browne shuddered. "Well, how about that German dominatrix?" He poured each of them another shot, finishing the bottle.

"Well, yeah, Asuka is hot…and, let's face it, I do need someone to tell me what to do and boss me around, but…I don't think she has my best interests in mind."

"Perfectionist," Browne mock-criticized. They downed the last of the Yeager, and then Browne looked for another bottle. "How about vodka and Mountain Dew?"

"How about a shot of vodka?"

"Oh-ho! Mister first-time-drinker thinks he has balls. You're on!" He poured the drinks. "Okay…three…two…one…cheers!" They drank at the same time, and slammed the shot glasses.

"Oh, snap! I think I am going to vomit!" Shinji complained. "Nope, false alarm.

"Where were we?"

"You were pimping me out to the various women in my life. Hypothetically, that is."

"Impressive, being able to say 'hypothetically' when you're this drunk without slurring it."

"You just did, too."

"Right…anyway, where was I? La blue girl…German dominatrix…right, that leaves Misato. I haven't thought of a clever nickname for her yet."

"She's your age."

"So?"

"It would be unethical for us to date."

"No, it would be unethical for _her_ to date _you_. But, as she's a woman and you're a boy, no one will care. Besides, in Japan, the age of consent is, like, eight, or something."

"It is not!" Shinji protested. "It's—"

"Whatever. My point is, you should definitely get with her. She's thirty, right? That's actually a good age for a woman," Browne said. "The peak of female sexuality. Also, her biological clock will start ticking at her soon, and I know you want children."

"Misato has a boyfriend," Shinji reminded him.

"Kaji? He's not your friend, is he? Alls fair in love and war, little buddy. Ha-ha, little buddy."

Misato walked up. "What's up?" she asked, sipping at her beer.

"As per your request, I'm trying to convince Shinji to sleep with you."

"What? I never made such a request! Besides, I've got too many suitors as it is, between you and your protégé."

"Hey, let me have a sip of your beer."

She handed it to him. Browne took a sip, and grimaced. "Blech! _Still_ tastes like piss." He took a swig out of the vodka.

"What are you doing?" Misato asked.

"Washing the taste out of my mouth," Browne said.

"You're weird, you know that?" she commented.

Browne mock bowed. "Anyway, Shinji, about these mixed-drinks…whoa. I think I'm losing consciousness. I started four ahead of you, though, Shinji, so don't get cock…y…" and he was out.

**¡FLASH!**


	15. Many Truths Revealed, Part 3

At World's End

S-Michael

Chapter the Fifteenth

Many Truths Revealed, Part 3

"You know, you probably should not take the confession of a drunk at face value," Kowaru said.

"That felt…strange," Shinji said.

"Well, yeah. You had enough alcohol in you to kill a yak. Now you know what being drunk feels like without having to have destroyed your brain cells or your liver or woken up hung over the next morning," Kowaru said.

"Do I wake up hunk over the next morning?"

"What do I look like, the Ghost of Christmas Future? We can go again, but I think there is something that we ought to be looking into."

"What?" Shinji asked.

"That friend of yours that was executed for treason in that first alternate we visited might confide something to you in an alternate alternate."

"Sounds like a plan. I'm ready when you are." It took an immeasurable amount if time until—

**¡FLASH!**

_Knock, knock, knock!_

Shinji looked at the clock. It was three AM. Who could be knocking on his door at such a time? "Come in," he said groggily.

Don James entered. "Shinji, I'm glad you're here, I've got to talk to you."

"Can't this wait until day time?"

"I've been spying for SEELE."

"That's not funny, man," Shinji said, now fully awake.

"I have been, and I am going to confess to Browne and Valaskas, but I'm going to need some leverage before I do, because otherwise they might kill me."

"What are you talking about? Browne thinks of you as like a son," Shinji said.

"That won't stop that Machiavelli-wannabe from offing me if he feels he has to. And Valaskas, well, that guy is Lex Luther with hair.

"Who?"

"Right, you're not familiar with American comic books, are you? The point is, he is not exactly a good guy. Look, I need you to know something, and, if I should die, to take it to the news."

"Lets say, for an instant, I believe that any of this is true. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I found religion. The other day, I was wandering around town, when I randomly found this book store, and in it I found a book, and I read it, more for shits and giggles than anything else, but it struck a cord with me, and I realized that I don't need to be better than everyone at everything at all times…well, alright, maybe not, but all the same, I've been spying on SEELE for the wrong reasons. It's time to get back on the winning team."

"What book?" Shinji asked.

"_The Satanic Bible,_ by Anton LaVey. I am now a Satanist."

"Satanist, what is that, one of those Christian sects?" Shinji asked.

"Not even close."

"I'm pretty sure there's a 'Satan' somewhere in the Christian Bible," Shinji said.

"We use the name 'Satanism' in Judeo-Christian societies, as that is the name of their devil, and we want to scare off the flock. We're a religion of leaders, not followers." (_Yeah, that sounds like you,_ thought Shinji.) "But that's beside the point. Alright, Shinji, this is the truth about HALO, the new angels, and the war with the Separatists…" and so Don James proceeded to tell Shinji all he knew.

**¡FLASH!**

"I've got to stop them," Shinji said. "How do I get back to the real world?"

"You can leave whenever you want," Kowaru said.

"Why didn't you say so?"

"What good would it have done to send you back not knowing the truth? Besides…I wanted to spend some time with you, one last time."

"Kowaru…"

"No, no. I'm fine. This is part of what I was designed to do. Angels do not get lonely."

"Well, you said that time doesn't exist in this place, right? So I can stay here as long as I want before returning to the instant I arrived, right?"

"You shouldn't stay too long, or risk breakdown of your AT-Field."

"We can do one more of those things, right?"

"I don't see why not. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, you seem to be experiencing these things along with me."

"Yeah."

"How are you doing that?" Shinji asked.

"We are connected," Kowaru said. "I can go where you go."

"Et vice versa?"

"What did you have in mind?" Kowaru asked.

"I want to see something from your eyes," Shinji said. "Instead of visiting an alternate me, I want to visit an alternate you."

"Okay. I'll find one in a world you'd never be able to visit otherwise."

"Show me the wonders of the multiverse," Shinji was kidding and being serious at the same time.

**¡FLASH!**

Tabris road the terror bird on the winding roads of the Andes, some of them so that they were actually designed for terror birds, llamas, and alpacas. They never _did_ design a car that could take naturally to these roads, so the terror bird never lost relevance here in the cradle of civilization.

"This is fun," his companion, a girl named Tiwatt, said.

"Yeah," a boy named Haratz said. "When I'm one of these animals, I like to pretend that I am going to war against those old northern barbarians and their war mammoths, or slaughtering savages in Eurasia, Africa, or Australia."

" 'Savages?' You fucking racist!" Tiwatt said.

"Blacks and Whites are subhuman beasts of burden. Asians, barely human," Haratz said.

_Lilim: are they really worth it?_ "I am curious as to why Asians, in your estimation, receive a higher ranking than Blacks or Whites," Tabris mentioned. There were no great civilizations in eastern Eurasia any more than there were in western Eurasia or in Africa."

"Well, Kao…"

"Isn't it obvious, Kao? They look like us," Tiwatt said.

"Not really. They've got all that ugly facial hair, just like the animals," Haratz said.

"It's not that ugly," Tiwatt protested.

"Yeah? I'd like to see _you_ kiss a man with fur on his face," Haratz retorted.

"Oh. So your estimation of superiority is based on you being prettier than they are," Tabris said.

"No! Tell me, if they're as smart as we are, how come Whites and Blacks never built houses? How come—"

"That's a racist lie, and a _dumb_ racist lie! Eurasia and Africa had hundreds if not thousands of complex stone-age civilizations before we conquered them, and Australia had domesticated animals, like the giant wombat. Ye gods! Why is it that people who think that one race is smarter than another are always amongst the stupidest motherfuckers on the planet?—and how did someone as dumb as you become an Eva pilot, anyway?" Tiwatt shouted.

"White people's IQs are about sixty—"

Tabris found the fact that they were having this conversation in the presence of a being who was truly superior—himself—hilarious. "They are not. East Eurasian, West Eurasian, African, Australian, Pacific, or of the 'Proper' race, the differences are all superficial. You are all lilim. Nothing more, nothing less." _Unlike me; I'm both more _and_ less._

"Whatever, you PC scum. I'd take you on any day."

Tabris smiled. "There is no way you could possibly win, without your Eva. Probably not even then," which was nothing but the literal truth.

"The fact that you would resort to violence and name-calling when you are losing an argument only proves that you are, indeed, unintelligent," Tiwatt said.

**¡FLASH!**

"They had Evas there, too?" Shinji asked.

Kowaru nodded. "Most worlds in which I interact with humans are ones in which some form of Second Impact happened, and most of those develop some sort of Eva program. Not all of them for motivations as nefarious as SEELE's, though."

"You called yourself Tabris there…do you call yourself Tabris?"

"Not in this world. I call myself Kowaru, because that is what you call me, dearest. Besides, I am the soul that was Adam's and became Tabris' and is now residing inside of the Ark, so 'Tabris' isn't my proper name anymore. Maybe 'Adam' isn't, either. In that case, why shouldn't I be Kowaru?"

Shinji nodded. "And so now it is time for me to leave, is it?" Kowaru nodded. "Kowaru, before I go, there is something I've always wanted to ask but was never brave enough to."

"What, Shinji?"

"You could have made yourself look like anything, right?"

"Yes."

"So, why couldn't you have made yourself into a girl?"

Kowaru laughed. "If I knew that I was going to meet you one day, I would have. Good bye, my love." He kissed him. "And, here." Something glowing red he placed inside of Shinji's chest. He should have been shocked to see this, but he wasn't. They were two ghosts in the land of the unborn. "It's my core. To protect you, should you ever need it. One more thing."

"Yeah?"

"That Browne guy seems like a clever one. Don't trust him. I know that that sounds, like, duh, right now, but there is seriously something about him. If he doesn't have some sort of psychic power, I'd be surprised."

"How do I—?"

And suddenly Shinji was in the beam of light, but at the same time, he _was_ the beam of light. He understood all that was going on, for he was connected to all things, on a level lower than that on which the AT-Fields could divide. This beam, it was coming from the Ark, and focused by the White Seed, which was also where SEELE was. What foolish little mortals. All he had to do was fatten his tail end, and then they rejoined the All. The angel was dead, but the mass produced Evas had revived, and were preparing for a second go at Rei and Asuka. Nine of them. Shinji pointed with nine fingers, and nine beams impaled them, and fried them. They, also, rejoined the All, not that they had been much separated in the first place. Shinji had to extract himself from the beam. If he was connected like this for much longer, his AT-Field would break down, and he would rejoin the All himself. At the height that his body was, he might die on impact with the water, but that was the worst-case scenario, and besides, death is just rejoining the All, which was what he was faced with, anyway. Therefore, the logical thing to do would be to shut the beam down.

Then the beam was shut down, and Shinji was in his own head, again, and he suddenly remembered things like fear, pain, and mortality…especially fear. He screamed as he fell, and then he hit the water and knew no more.

-

Shinji came to in a hospital room. "Hey, Misato, Shinji's awake," Asuka said. Shinji looked at her, Misato (who was asleep in a chair), and Rei.

"Hi, Shinji," Rei said.

"How long have I been out?" Shinji asked.

"One week," Rei said.

Misato came to. "Oh, Shinji, you're awake!" She kissed him…only then realizing that they had company. She backed away from Shinji's bed, slowly.

"I see," Rei said.

"Rei…" Misato started.

"…you can't tell anyone," Shinji finished.

"I take it, then, that Misato is this girlfriend of yours I've heard about?" Rei asked. There was something akin to a rising storm behind the words. A quiet rage. "Actually, it is not too shocking. You were buying a lot of condoms, so it had to have been someone who we're around a lot, and we've been traveling all over the planet lately, and so there weren't too many people it could have been. At first, I thought it was Asuka, and that you two were just keeping it secret for some reason, but then she started dating Kensuke. With those two out of the picture, every other candidate both female and male was an adult, which made the reason for secrecy clear. Misato and Dr. Akagi were the strongest candidates."

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you, Rei, but…well, it was _our_ secret. Between the two of us," Shinj said.

"But you told Asuka. Otherwise, she'd be yelling up a storm and being generally violent right now," Rei pointed out.

"Gee, thanks," Asuka said. "And they didn't tell me. I caught them going at it. I do live with them, after all. Exactly how long do you think they would be able to keep it from me?"

"I see."

"What are you going to do, Rei?" Misato asked.

"Are you alright, Rei?" Shinji asked.

"What do you care? I am just a robot, aren't I? A half-angel clone," Rei said. "Why wouldn't I be alright? It's not as if I have feelings. I'm just Wonder Girl. A machine built to fight angels, no different from the Eva I pilot. A freakish creation of Gendo Ikari."

"No, Rei. You're not. You're my blood. You're my sister. The favored child of _our_ father, and, if I have resented you for it, I am sorry. But we are family."

"Family…" Rei said shakily. A single tear ran down her cheek. Then a second one. Then she ran to Shinji and was crying into his chest, as he patted her hair, and made comforting noises. He really had no idea what she had gone through, but to go through it alone, so terribly alone…that, he understood. He understood being alone. Being emotionally distant. He had always been too busy with his own hang ups to help her, and she had been too busy with hers to help him. She must have been hurt, even more than he was, when his father died. A lot more than he was. Shinji had been jealous of her, because his father loved her more than he loved him, that she had had him as a rock to stabilize her in this world…but then he died, didn't he? To be suddenly anchorless…as Shinji had been when Kowaru died. As he had when his mother died. As he would be again if anything were to happen to Misato. "Hold me, Brother; I need to be held." And that, again, Shinji understood. It was awkward, to hold someone who was standing while you were laying down, but he held her as she cried out a short lifetime's worth of sorrow and pain.

Browne walked in, saw what was going on, and sat in a chair in the corner, waiting. It was kind of funny, as Shinji had been preparing in the back of his head for a confrontation of good guys and bad guys like in the movies or anime, but in what movie had the bad guy ever seen that the good guy was busy and decided to wait? He was very careful, though to keep the thought from the surface of his mind. Unfortunately, that was not the medium Browne was able to read, and he had noticed a slight bristling in Shinji when he had walked into the room. _Oh? What is this about?_

"Are you alright, Rei?" Shinji asked.

"I'm fine…now," Rei said. She smiled. "Thank you, Shinji."

"Hey, Shinji glad you're awake," Browne said. "Guess what? You're retired. The _Sahaquiel II_ is up and operational, and it killed its first angel three days ago—"

"So there weren't any problems with its weapons system?" Shinji saw Browne physically flinch when he suggested this. He had _thought_ that that was a bit fishy, how that kept happening in the other worlds.

"Uh…no. Anyway, it can do this much quicker and more efficiently than you can, and with much less threat to human life, as it doesn't need a nearby city to power it nor pilots. Now that you have rejoined the world of the living, you can finally formally receive these," Browne held out some medals that Shinji recognized.

"So the PM of Earth is giving us medals," Shinji commented.

"Alright, how could you have _possibly_ known that?" Browne demanded. "You've been in a coma for a week."

"I was inside the Ark of the Covenant. It showed me…many things," Shinji said vaguely.

"What _sort_ of things?" Browne asked.

"_All_ sorts of things," Shinji said. "Why don't you tell us all about Operation Advocate?"

Browne knew that Shinji had the upper hand, having come into an unknown amount of information quite suddenly. He was certainly bluffing or preparing to bluff, but without knowing the nature of what Shinji had over him, there was no way of telling if he would recognize the bluff when he saw it. He had to go on the offensive. "Oh, really? Well, I know a little something about you…you and Misato, that is." (He knew something was wrong when Shinji did not react to this statement.) "Yeah, I know. I've known—"

"—ever since you first saw us," Shinji finished for him. "Yeah, I know you know. Something else I learned in the Ark. You're really good at what you do, aren't you?"

Browne studied him. Did he know what Browne could do? No, he decided. That was just an intentionally vague statement that could mean many things. It was intended to frighten Browne, make him think Shinji knew more than he did. And realizing that gave Browne confidence. It meant Shinji wasn't omniscient, after all. "Fine, you want to know the truth about the last few months?" he asked indignantly. "Here's the truth:

"Second Impact didn't just halve our population, it halved our resources. A great deal of what was one the best farmland in the world is now under the sea. Ninety percent of the world's natural species went extinct. The world had been struggling at the brink of collapse for _fifteen years!_ Fifteen years, Shinji! Oil was being hoarded by dictators in the Middle East, and dictators in Africa would rather use their by-today's-standards premium farmland to grow drugs than crops to feed the rest of the world with. We were at the world's end, Shinji, and then we were pulled back from it. Because of our plans, because of this regrettably necessary war, and because of you, we were able to unify the planet! All human ingenuity and resources will from now on be channeled into the survival and advancement of the human race!"

"With you and your cronies at the helm," Shinji commented.

"And why not? Someone has to direct the resources to make sure that they are not squandered. Someone has to make sure that the momentum of humanity is channeled in the right direction. Why not the people who made it possible in the first place."

"What are you guys talking about?" Asuka demanded.

"The angels we've been fighting after Kowaru died were fakes, created by these people so that they could start a war and otherwise advance their plots," Shinji said.

"You fucking bastard," Asuka said.

"Oh, _rreeeaalllyy?_ A bastard, am I?" Browne asked rhetorically. "You have been cheering on our goals every step of the way—defeating the Separatists and other threats, unification, et all. Don't you think the ends justify the means, Asuka? Don't you?" He surveyed the room. You didn't have to have any special skill to read the hatred emanating towards him like solar radiation in this room. "Alright, fine. You don't approve of my methods. But now the deed is done. And the government of the world _will_ be a democracy, once we have guided society on its proper course for a while.

"Think for a while before doing anything to stop us. You _could_ go to the media, I suppose, but do you know what will happen then? What will happen when a populace that was recently terrorized by the thought that SEELE could have killed every last damn one of them finds out that all the world events of the last few months were plotted? They will go mad, and everything we have lost will be for nothing, for everything we had accomplished will have been for nothing. Humanity itself will fall.

"Do you _really_ care how the world is run, Shinji, as long as you can live in peace in it? I don't think so, and besides, it's better than the alternative. So, are you willing to throw civilization to the wolves because you're mad at me?" Browne stared Shinji in the eyes. Neither of them blinked. Then Shinji lowered his eyes. "That's what I thought. You receive your medals tomorrow. Try not to look like someone spat in your milk," Browne said, and he turned on his heal and made what he hoped was a dramatic exit.


	16. Ambiguous Ending

Author's Note: After many, many days of arguing with myself, I still cannot decide which one of two or three endings I actually want to write, so I decided to go with an ambiguous ending which leaves a lot to the imagination and allows me to come back and make a sequel later on when I have finished being at war with myself. I've been thinking about just completing it, one way or another, but I decided to just end it like this, so that I can take however long I need to before writing a sequel. Before you start gunning for me, remember how ambiguous the ending of the series was (still haven't watched _End of Evangelion_).

At World's End

S-Michael

Epilog

Browne burst into Valaskas' office. "Bastard! You tried to kill me!"

"No, I didn't." Valaskas said.

"We both know you're lying!" Browne said.

Valaskas shrugged. "Alright. I tried to kill you. Sorry. The opportunity presented itself, and it was too sweet to resist. But hey, you got out alive, SEELE's dead, and we won."

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't kill you right now," Browne said.

"I could have a dozen guards up here within a minute," Valaskas said.

Browne laughed. "_Please_ tell me you did not just try to bluff me! There's a reason that never lose at poker, remember?"

"You're right. I've got nothing," Valaskas said calmly. "I assume you have a way to kill me right here, and a coroner you can bribe to say my death was a heart attack, or something. What is it, I wonder? What is your weapon of choice? Poison, I bet. Something quick and painless, knowing you, and something very, very potent. You like your poisons potent."

"You're about to find out unless you manage to talk your way out of it," Browne "subconsciously" twitched towards his left pocket with his hand of the same side. Valaskas should have known better, as this sort of thing was child's play for Browne, but he fell for it. Valaskas was now convinced that whatever weapon Browne had was in that pocket.

"Alright, then: you need me. I am the one with the strategies, with the contacts, who can stand to be in the spotlight. Yes, I tried to kill you, and it was wrong of me. The opportunity presented itself, and I could not resist. I wanted to be the only one at the top of this pyramid. The opportunity will not likely avail itself again, and I know that you'd smell it a mile away if I actually planned to kill you, so there is relatively little risk in letting me live. You want to be a sociopath, man. This is what sociopaths do."

"Yes. It is." Browne held out his hand to shake. Right hand. The last knuckle of the middle finger had been replaced with a plastic container, which had a millimeters-long needle that could be extended from the flesh to inject a target. The poison? DX. The chemical that was DX was a weapon of mass destruction—a single droplet of it could kill ten people. Browne had a few milliliters of the stuff, enough to last him a lifetime's worth of assassinations.

FIN

Author's Commentary (As If You Care):

IT!!! IS!!! OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for the ambiguous ending (please don't kill me). (_Two_ ambiguous endings, actually—we don't know if Shinji and company is going to fight back against Browne and Valaskas or not, and neither do we know if Browne killed Valaskas or not.) Originally, I had a definite ending planned (in which the bad guys won, BTW), but towards the end of this story, I began thinking, _No, wait, Shinji and company should fight back against Browne and Valaskas._ I couldn't decide if I wanted the happy ending or the not-so-happy ending, so I decided to go with an ambiguous ending. This way, whatever I decide, I can do it in the sequel. Or, if I remain _really_ on the fence about it, I could write two sequels one in which the bad guys win and one in which they lose. Hey, infinite multiverse, remember? Or I could just leave it like this. Actually, I've been kicking around an idea for a sequel, a prequel (explaining the breaking point between the world of _At World's End_ and the world of _Evangelion_ and how it lead to this), and something else besides, and the more I kick, the more likely one of these is to actually become reality. It's not much, yet, though.

But then, this story didn't start out as much. Would you believe that this story, far and away the largest fanfic I have ever written (almost twice as long as the nearest competitor (_Ties That Bind_ from the _InuYasha_ fandom) and more than three times as long as the next nearest (_Atomsk's Heir_ from the _FLCL_ fandom)), was originally intended to be a one-shot? It's true: When I originally started writing this, I wasn't writing _At World's End_; I was writing a one-shot entitled _Contemplation_. The theme of that story? Misato sleeps with Shinji, and then starts wondering why the hell she did it. Contemplation was to be pure Misato and Shinji. You weren't to be able to tell when, in the series of events, it happened, and other characters weren't to make cameos. They were to be, for all intents and purposes, alone in the universe, symbolizing that their universes center on one another. Romantic and symbolic, no?

Basically, if you take chapter one of this story and edit out all of the parts about Gendo being dead, visiting Asuka in the hospital, Kowaru and his warning, and that guy trying to knife Shinji, you would get something akin to what _Contemplation_ would have been. Also, it was to start with Misato lying in bed with a sleeping Shinji, all things that happened before that occurring in flashbacks. In other words, materially speaking, it was…deficient. Lovely, yes, but I didn't have enough filler.

I needed more substance. So, I hybridized it with another idea I had, about a tale of espionage, political intrigue, and other stuff. I called it _At World's End_, because it was supposed to have something of an apocalyptic feel to it, at least in places. But where did that idea come from?

I wanted to write myself into a story (when I realized that, when _Evangelion_ takes place, I'll be 30). It was as simple as that. It was better to be a villain, I thought, because they are almost totally immune to Mary Sue Disease. Villains can be powerful without overshadowing heroes, because that power builds up the heroes that take them down. When villains are emo, it's called being complex. Besides, villains tend to be the exact opposite of what Mary Sues and Gary Stues are created be. Writers of Gary Stues want people to think their characters are awesome (which they aren't). Writers of villains want their characters to be hated. Besides, being a villain is cool. You get to be morally dubious (offering Shinji and Asuka alcohol, anyone?) and try to take over the world, or at least control your corner of it with iron-fisted ironfistiness. Oh, yeah, it's fun to be evil. You know you wanna try it.

So, if I were to be a villain, what kind of villain should I be? How did I become a villain? In real life, I'm actually a pretty nice guy. Well, lets just chock it up to post-impact weirdness (I did end up elaborating on it later on, with the Chirac back-story). Also, in real life, there are times when I think I am too nice for my own good. If evil me takes that to the extreme, it could be an endorsement of sociopathy. His special ability is also taken to an extreme. I figured, I always had an interest in what makes people tick, so, taken to an extreme, once again, evil me has a pretty valuable asset, which will make him difficult for the good guys to deal with. And of course, I'd somehow have to make it so that my chronic shyness doesn't get in the way. Self-hypnotism took care of that, and made evil me just that much better at what he did, as well, giving him the ability to subconsciously influence others in small ways by controlling his own would-be subconscious reactions.

And now for my second OC: Señior Jose Valaskas. Valaskas is loosely—_very_ loosly—based on a friend of mine. "Jose Valaskas" is not even his real name, just an alias he said one time that he would use if he ever needed one. I'm not even sure if "Valaskas" is a real name, or if I'm spelling it right if it is (my Microsoft word spellchecker says that it's not a word, but then, according to it, neither is Kaji). Ironically, though in the story Browne can speak Japanese and Valaskas can't, in reality, I can't speak Japanese—but Adam (Jose) can! Valaskas and Browne are to this story what SEELE and Gendo are to the series. Valaskas is shadowy, in the background, and nominally in control, but he doesn't really control what Browne does, and they are actually friends, or at least as close to friends as Browne has.

Don James, however, is completely fictional (as are all of the OCs from "Many Truths Revealed", but none of them are worth mentioning—no, not even Jessica…oops). Him saying that Browne is "like a father to him" is actually something of a hidden pun, for I am his creator, and thus, in a sense, his father. I believe that after Don James dies, Browne said something like "I feel like this is my fault; if it wasn't for me, he never would have been here. I made him what he was" (I'm not sure of that quote, though; I could as easily have forgotten to write that line). Well, if it wasn't for me, he never would have existed, for I _did_ make him…what he was. (Another inside joke between me and me (and now you) is when alternate-Browne drunkenly proclaims to be the villain of his own story.)

Don James' personality was largely shot from the hip. In chapter eight, I knew right from the beginning that he was going to die at the end of the chapter, which could explain why I decided to make him so Gary-Stuish. Then, in chapter nine, I had a scene in which a spy was talking to his masters in SEELE, and I thought, hey, wouldn't it be unexpected if that traitor was Don James? I offered no explanation as to what made Don James a traitor then, and I had none…but I soon thought of one. That's where the whole alternate-universe-viewing-through-the-Ark thing really came from. Originally, Shinji was supposed to have a sudden realization, remember things that had happened over the course of the story which hinted at what HALO was really doing, but I ended up letting the cat out of the bag to my readers at the end of chapter six (what can I say? It just felt right).

Besides, there were so many, many things that I wanted to explore but couldn't without the pretext of alternates. That's why "Many Truths Revealed" ended up being _three_ chapters instead of one.

Anyway, back to Don James for just one second. Sorry, there's one more thing I want to talk about, namely, his conversion to Satanism. That wasn't even planned. I just happened to read something about Satanism one day, and I thought, "Hey—this is Don James!" I have no idea what the specific tenants of Satanism are, but I figured that whatever they are, he'd decide that he was doing what he was doing for the wrong reasons, because…well, most of humanity would agree that his reasons are pretty fucking stupid. Maybe finding a religion that works for him would fill that hole in his heart he is trying to fill with deceit and treachery. And yes, his sync ratio of -300 is meant to mirror Shinji's ratio of 400 (300 percentage points _above_ what is possible on a percentage scale). Don James was not pilot material, but he was unwilling to accept defeat, even against nature, and so he died. Again. A bit competitive, I guess I am trying to say.

Like I said, earlier, the more I think about it, the more likely an actual sequel would actually be. I even have a title I've been kicking around: _At World's End: Brinkmanship_. And the prequel will be _At World's End: Genesis_, or maybe _At World's End: the Beginning_, something like that. Understand, this is hardly a promise of new stories to come. I don't like to make promises unless I am absolutely 100 sure of something, for fear of invoking Murphy's Law. I actually shy away from chapter works for this very reason. My last chapter work (_Ties That Bind_, again) was on hiatus for several months, and another chapter work of note (_Distant Shores_, _DBZ_ fandom) is _still_ incomplete (although, as each "part" has its own independent plot as well as contributing to the story arch, you could argue that it is actually two stories in a series submitted as one)! Still, you might have these things and more to look forward to in the universe of _At World's End_.

I suppose you're all wondering about Kaji. Why he was working for HALO, that is. Well, he was working for everyone else, wasn't he? SEELE, NERV, the Japanese government. Besides, he seemed like the kind of guy Browne and Valaskas would associate with: one with dubious loyalties and who operates in the grey areas.

I have another _Evangelion_ story, _Requiem_. It's about my second favorite pairing next to Misato/Shinji: Shinji/Kowaru. Gotta warn you, though, it takes on an entirely different theory about the Eva universe as does this one. Still, I recommend you read it if you liked this story (and if you didn't like it, WTF are you doing still reading??? This story is fifteen fucking chapters long, plus epilog!). I called it _Requiem_ because it is beautiful and poetic, but sad as fuck. I forgot to mention that in its own Author's Commentary (three wimpy paragraphs long!).

Thank you for reading. I hoped you liked it. Please R&R. Be sure to read the sequel.


End file.
